Hey Petersch...
Your feelings are very normal and I think most of us can relate to what you are saying. Especially if you didnt see it coming.
Was it all for nothing?...No, it wasn't. Even if it was for a short period of time you had something that was amazing. You obviously "truly loved her" and not everyone gets a chance to have that in the first place. You will never be able to "replace" her or what you had. Honestly it is never the same. (This is a good thing though, because look what happened!).
Treasure the good times, and just know that when you are ready you will find someone new...who is "equal".
Are dreams attainable?Or will you ever have one? -yes, all dreams are possible. It just takes time and realize that when the right person is meant to come into your life, they will, if your open to it.
"Unrealistic expectations"- maybe or maybe not. We all have things that we look for in that special someone. Things that make our hearts skip just a little. Some say we should settle...I think that love is too special to settle for less than the real thing.
When you do decide to commit yourself to someone, you should be "in love" with them and vise versa. I know I sound like I have my head in the clouds, but I do know what I am talking about. I have been hurt before too...(hence divorce) and it ripped my heart out. Then I tried to play it safe. I realized how UNFAIR it was for me to do that to him (and myself)because I know what it is like to "truly love" someone and I would only want the same feelings in return.
Does it matter-absolutely!!!! If what you think and feel doesnt matter to your significant other...what's the point of being with them, you will never be happy in that type of relationship!
It may take time for you to get to that place in your heart where you are ready to let someone in, but it will happen ...if you let it.
As for the "perfect relationship" or "perfect person" - my only advice is to be yourself from the beginning. Realize that you can't and shouldn't have to change someone. (Only they can change themselves if they want to). When you finally find someone you are serious about...look at their worst day/faults, then imagine that this is what they are like everyday...if you can accept them as they are,then you have found the one for you. Just remember that NO ONE is perfect...we are all different, make stupid mistakes and yes we all have our flaws. (shhh)
I wish you well...you seem like a really sweet guy:)
Is it worth it?: click here to read the entire thread »