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Skybow: Hi Nurse, mind if I ask what your specialty is if any. I always loved the ER best.

Indyfella: You are a sick sick sick puppy
But you'd be fun to have a drink with

mylifewithu: What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?

Juan on Juan.

What is a Yankee?

The same as a Quickie, but a guy can do it alone.What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?The position of the dirt bag.Why is divorce so expensive?

Because it's worth it.

What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?

Doughnuts....

Why is air a lot like sex?

Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.

What do you call a smart blonde?

A golden retriever.

What do attorneys use for birth control?

Their personalities.What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?10 years and 45 lbsWhat's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?

45 minutes

What's the fastest way to a man's heart?Through his chest with a sharp knife.Why do men want to marry virgins?

They can't stand criticism.Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and
good-looking?Because those men already have boyfriends.

What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?

The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?

Because they have cotton balls.

What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW?

A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.

What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?"Are you sure it's mine?"
Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?

Mace will do that to you.Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia?

Because he heard everyone there has the same DNA.
Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?

Breasts don't have eyes.
Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on
Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.
Where does an Irish family go on vacation?

A different Bar.

Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a blond baby?They named him "Sum Ting Wong."What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?

A speech impediment.
What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half-mast?They're hiring.
What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage
along with... "a recipe."

How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word?Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell "BINGO!"

What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern
fairytale?

A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time... "
A southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit..."

Why is there no Disneyland in China?

No one is tall enough to go on the good rides.

Indyfella: News flash:I just figured out where the truck is going.
They're headed to an Obama Rally!

Indyfella: but a great hemmroid policy.

wixomwizard: Me too, I type like old people copulate,....not very quickly or accurately. I do a 40yrd dash in about 4 days, that's about how fast I can type 40 words.

Indyfella: Be careful of electocution. Then we'd have to come to a funeral and frankly, I don't have the gas money. Sorry

ANurse4U: come and get it

llok I even made for two

HJFinAZ: I am not bothering "him", I am simply pissing off his supporters...

More popcorn please...

Claayer: Police and medical personnel were called to Lan Tian park in Hong Kong after the man, named as 41-year-old local Le Xing, got into difficulty after he put his penis through a hole in the bench and got stuck when he became aroused.

Mr Xing, described in reports as "lonely and disturbed", told police that he thought it would be fun to have sex with the bench.

When officers and doctors arrived at the scene they tried to release some of the pressure by removing some of his blood. But their efforts proved unsuccessful, forcing them to cut the bench from the ground and take it, with Xing attached, to a city hospital.

It took doctors four hours to cut him free. They later said that if he had been stuck for just an hour longer they may have been forced to amputate his penis.

There have been several recent cases of people having sex with unusual objects. In May 2008, Edward Smith, claimed to be involved in an intimate relationship with a white Volkswagen Beetle.

Separately, Scot Robert Stewart was placed on the sex offenders register after being caught having trying to copulate with a bicycle.

BnaturAl: so chanting his name would make you wobbly in the knees

morganlee: Is this not meant to be about how you see yourself?? not personal attacks on each other?

roseofsharon: Not that I am suggesting any of you need it, of course..... but just a little something to tone your tummy??

This comes from a professional fitness trainer. Everyone who has tried it has told me it works!!

Here's what you do:

Lie on your tummy on the floor, resting on your elbows (as you would if you were on the beach, reading a book?).

Now, raise yourself up onto your toes, keeping your lower arms flat on the floor (still reading that book). Effectively, your bum is stuck up in the air (you may want to do this in private? Hee hee...). Keep that position for as long as you are able. It may not be for very long the first few times.....

You will feel the muscles in your thorax and abdomen pulling. After the first time you do it, you will be conscious of your muscles, probably the next day. But it gets easier and you will able to support yourself for longer each time.

It only need take a few minutes each day and you don't have to do it all at once, you can have a breather and come back to it again later...

I have been told that results have been noticed after just one week (depending on how often its done and for how long, of course)......

Feedback would be most useful (by mail if you prefer) but I suggest probably don't do it immediately after eating and if you have a medical condition, you may want to consult your doctor first?

WhatUwish4: LOL Not what I would have expected at all.

He must have been taking his meds that day!

WhatUwish4: Hey there!



Miss you all!He's already seen it???