Scary Dating Moments—Solved
Kimberly Dawn Neumann
Sure, dating is filled with plenty of warm-and-fuzzy, feel-good times. But, in honour of Halloween, let’s look at the scary stuff. As anyone who’s ever asked for someone’s phone number or gone in for a first kiss can tell you, certain moments in the courting process can be, well, downright terrifying. But fret not. With a little expert guidance, you can fly through these date-night frights with nary a shudder. Try our advice for some typically panic-provoking moments below, and pretty soon you’ll be saying “That wasn’t so scary, was it?”
Scary Dating Moment 1: Breaking the ice
Some enchanted evening you may find your true love across a crowded room or in the bookshop, on the tube, at the coffee shop, etc… and suddenly you forget every trick in your how-to-meet-someone arsenal. Quick, don’t just stand there paralysed and let someone special slip away. “Say whatever pops into your head--and say it within two seconds of thinking it,” says Dan Neuharth, Ph.D., a therapist and author of Secrets You Keep From Yourself. “The longer you wait, the harder it gets and spontaneity usually scores points with potential dates.” Afraid your clever quotient has been stunned along with the rest of you? No worries! “There’s nothing wrong with the old standby ‘Hello, how are you?” encourages Neuharth.
Or, try a little dating humour. Dating guru David Wygant, founder of FlirtDaily.com, suggests walking over to your prospect with a smile and saying, “I really hate this part.” Most likely the response will be, “What part?” to which you answer, “The part of walking over and breaking the ice.” Wygant says this works because it doesn’t come off as a line. “It’s one of my favourite approaches because it’s real and allows you to move easily into introductions or conversation without awkwardness since you’ve already poked fun at yourself and the process,” he says.
You can also give yourself approach-confidence by having a couple common questions and short, funny stories in your back pocket. Then if you freeze you can pull from your data base. “The easiest opening line I know is a question about the event or place itself,” says JoAnn Magdoff, Ph.D., a New York City-based psychotherapist. “’What brings you here?’ or if you’re at a party, ‘How do you know the host?’” Other good in-a-pinch questions include asking about siblings, holiday plans, hometowns and favourite sports teams. For stories, tie in current events or trivia.
And finally, remember that you’re trying to make an impression. “Think about what you’d like them to know about you and lead the conversation in that direction, but keep it brief,” says Dr. Magdoff. In other words, don’t talk incessantly about yourself. Give them a taste and leave them wanting to know more.
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