brew01 Forum Posts

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brew01 Forum Posts

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Brew01
Surrey, British Columbia Canada
Posted: Oct 11, 2008, 9:14 PM CST
Once when I was married, I was walking home (ok staggering) and the wife opened the balcony door and screamed at me about not being romantic anymore, and reminded me of the times I used to sing to her, so to shut her up, and infront of the other people on thier balconies, I stood there (drunk as a skunk) spread my arms out to her, and started singing, How much is that doggy in the window..she walked back into our apartment, slammed the door shut behind her, and right there I knew I would be sleeping on the couch....again.
She didn't think it was funny, but I along with those standing on thier balconies laughted like hell..
The night I slept on the couch was the most peaceful snooze I had since saying "I do"

cheers


Most romantic song...: click here to read the entire thread »

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Brew01
Surrey, British Columbia Canada
Posted: Oct 9, 2008, 8:53 PM CST
When Kim was born there was no music, I think all she got to listen to was the sound of the big bang that started it all (you know those OLD women)
rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing


THE NUMBER ONE SONG WHEN YOU WERE BORN.....: click here to read the entire thread »

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Brew01
Surrey, British Columbia Canada
Posted: Oct 7, 2008, 10:57 PM CST
go_with_flow_pei wrote:
Hi:

I joined about a week ago and this is my first post. Yeah........ Im a Newbie. Don't be too hard on me!! ;-))))))

I'm looking for other artists, or someone who likes the arts, to talk with. I don't want to talk politics, religion. The Arts is what I want.

First thought.

"Art is what the artists decide it is." Let's discuss this further.


Hi dude, as for music, I play the drums, write the songs and do the recording, we usally play on weekends sat at one bar, and sun at another one. As for "arts", take a look at my computer doodles at youtube, in the search tab, just write in Brews Profile
there's 3 of them, each are a collection of my computer doodles set to music, no not my music (wouldn't do that to people laugh ).
Glad to know there's someone else into music and arts..


I'm new here. Any other artists.. musicians, visual artists, writers, etc. out there?: click here to read the entire thread »

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Brew01
Surrey, British Columbia Canada
Posted: Oct 7, 2008, 10:40 PM CST
Muted5th wrote:
Yeah, that' s one nasty ol' mole Lemmie has, isn't it?

Rawk on, dude! I'm a guitar player myself... 'bout the only Motorhead song I know to play is "ace of spades". Good ol' 3 chord songs, gotta love 'em.


Never even heard of Motorhead, sorry dude, I'm all country.. us old geezers like our country crap

applause


Mvies..the Sequal..lol.: click here to read the entire thread »

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Brew01
Surrey, British Columbia Canada
Posted: Oct 6, 2008, 8:42 PM CST
Muted5th wrote:
Brew... anyone ever mention you bear a striking resemblance to Lemmie Killmister from Motorhead?

I mean.. put a big ol set of muttonchops on ya... it's uncanny!!!

Sorry pal, but I don't have sideburns or facial moles, and although we are both muscians, he plays bass guitar, whereas I play the drums, but if it helps, I have a son named Ian
laugh


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Brew01
Surrey, British Columbia Canada
Posted: Oct 5, 2008, 9:55 PM CST
CasualChuck wrote:
Ok..listed below are different categories..tell me your favourite in each category. Guess you figured out I really like movies eh..lol.

Romance: Lake House

Sci-Fi: Matrix

Drama: The Last Castle

Action: Braveheart

Family: Mr Magorium,s Wonderful Emporim

Animated: Page Master

Comedy: Down Pariscope

Horror:(do not watch em much anymore) Entitiy

well I think that is all the categories..lol....if there is something I have missed..let me know and I will let you know what my choice is. Lookin forward to the answers.


Here's my list...

Romance: Debbie Does Dallas

Sci-Fi: Star Trek (What else ?)

Drama: Pearl Harbour (The orginal one)

Family: Star Trek (Did you really expect something else ?)

Animated: Trippin The Rift

Comedy: Down Pariscope (We agree)

Horror: Godzilla VS The Smog Monster

Thriller: Jason X

War: Midway

Westerns: Rio Bravo (Go Johnny)

Fantasy: The Flintstones Meet the Jetsons

professor


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Brew01
Surrey, British Columbia Canada
Posted: Oct 5, 2008, 9:44 PM CST
KHD100 wrote:
Brew and Colleen

Brew and Colleen were making passionate love in Paddy's mini van when
suddenly Colleen, being a bit on the kinky side, yells out 'Oh big boy,
whip me, whip me!'

Brew, not wanting to pass up this unique opportunity, obviously did not
have any whips on hand, but in a flash of inspiration, he opens the
window, snaps the antenna off his van and proceeds to whip Colleen until
they both collapse in ecstasy.

About a week later, Colleen notices that the marks left by the whipping
are starting to fester a bit so she goes to the doctor. The doctor takes
one look at the wounds and asks, 'Did you get these marks having sex?'
Colleen, a little embarrassed that she has slept with Paddy [let alone
that she allowed the kinky boy to whip her] eventually admits that, yes, she did.


Nodding his head knowingly, the doctor exclaims, 'I thought so, because
in all my years as a doctor you've got the worst case of van aerial disease that I've ever seen'


rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
Boo
sticking out tongue


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Brew01
Surrey, British Columbia Canada
Posted: Sep 30, 2008, 11:05 PM CST
KHD100 wrote:
Jim and Brew were a couple of Newfie drinking buddies who worked as airplane mechanics in Gander, NL. One day the airport was fogged in and they were stuck in the hangar with nothing to do. Jim said, 'Man, I wish we had something to drink!' Brew says, 'Me too. Y'know, I've heard you can drink jet fuel and get a buzz. You wanna try it?'

So they pour themselves a couple of glasses of high octane hooch and get completely smashed. The next morning Jim wakes up and is surprised at how good he feels. In fact he feels GREAT! NO hangover! NO bad side effects. Nothing! Then the phone rings....its Brew.

Brew says, 'Hey, how do you feel this morning?' Jim says, 'I feel great. How about you?' Brew says, 'I feel great, too. You don't have a hangover?'Jim says, 'No that jet fuel is great stuff - no hangover, nothing. We ought to do this more often.'Brew says, 'Yeah, well there's just one thing...''What's that?''Have you farted yet?'' No.....''Well, DON'T, 'cause
I'm in TORONTO!!!'


rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
Good one kid


To all of us beer drinkers, I say this prayer for you (us): click here to read the entire thread »

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Brew01
Surrey, British Columbia Canada
Posted: Sep 30, 2008, 9:20 PM CST
A few days ago I was having some work done at my local garage. A blonde came in and asked for a seven-hundred-ten knob. We all looked at each other and another customer asked, 'What is a seven-hundred-ten knob?' She replied, 'You know, the little piece in the middle of the engine, I have lost it and need a new one' She replied that she did not know exactly what it was, but this piece had always been there. The mechanic gave her a piece of paper and a pen and asked her to draw what the piece looked like. She drew a circle and in the middle of it wrote 710. He then took her over to another car which had its hood up and asked 'is there a 710 on this car?' She pointed and said, 'Of course, its right there' pointing to the upside down oil cap
She then went home, dyed her hair brown and changed her name to Kim


sad flower


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Brew01
Surrey, British Columbia Canada
Posted: Sep 30, 2008, 9:12 PM CST
KHD100 wrote:
Cowboy boots

An elderly couple, Margaret and Brew, moved to Texas . Brew always
wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots, so, seeing some on sale, he
bought them and wore them home.
Walking proudly, he sauntered into the kitchen and said to his wife,
'Notice anything different about me?'

Margaret looked him over. 'Nope.'

Frustrated, Brew stormed off into the bathroom, undressed and walked
back into the kitchen completely naked except for the boots. Again he
asked Margaret, a little louder this time, 'Notice anything different NOW?'

Margaret looked up and exclaimed, Brew, what's different? It's hanging
down today, it was hanging down yesterday, and it'll be hanging down
again tomorrow!'

Furious, Brew yelled, 'AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT'S HANGING DOWN, MARGARET?'

'Nope', she replied.

'IT'S HANGING DOWN, BECAUSE IT'S LOOKING AT MY NEW BOOTS!!!!'

Without changing her expression, Margaret replied, 'Shoulda bought a hat, Brew. Shoulda bought a hat.' Good mornin.....Sorry Brew, could not resist!


I love a good joke, and ah..thanks (I guess) for including me in on this little tidbit

hug


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Brew01
Surrey, British Columbia Canada
Posted: Sep 30, 2008, 9:09 PM CST
jpunk wrote:
ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT!!!!

Brew, you're a star!!! I'm gonna learn this off by heart!!! Respect dude!!


Thank you sir

(who says drinking can't be a religious experience)

cheers
Cheers dude


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Brew01
Surrey, British Columbia Canada
Posted: Sep 29, 2008, 12:53 AM CST
KHD100 wrote:
I drink to those who wish me well.

To those that don't,

Go to Hell!


Here's to you, and here's to me...
with the hopes we never disagree...
but if some day we ever do, then....
here's to me, and to hell with you.

cheers
here's to you


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Brew01
Surrey, British Columbia Canada
Posted: Sep 29, 2008, 12:16 AM CST
eyesthatknowwhy wrote:
bottoms up!


The drink, the drink, not the dress
laugh


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Brew01
Surrey, British Columbia Canada
Posted: Sep 28, 2008, 10:49 PM CST
Our Lager,
Which art in barrels,
Hallowed be thy drink.
Thy will be drunk, (I will be drunk),
At home as in the tavern.
Give us this day our foamy head,
And forgive us our spillages,
As we forgive those who spill against us.
And lead us not into incarceration,
But deliver us from hangovers.
For thine is the beer,
The bitter and the lager.
Forever and ever,
Barmen.

cheers
drinking
here's to you


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Brew01
Surrey, British Columbia Canada
Posted: Sep 20, 2008, 11:56 AM CST
Here are some examples:


FREEZER BAGS: They are male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them.



PHOTOCOPIERS: These are female, because once turned off; it takes a while to warm them up again.

They are an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can also wreak havoc if you push the wrong Buttons.



TIRES: Tires are male, because they go bald easily and are often over inflated



HOT AIR BALLOONS: Also a male object, because to get them to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under their butt.



SPONGES: These are female, because they are soft, squeezable and retain water.



WEB PAGES:
Female, because they're constantly being looked at and frequently getting hit on.



TRAINS: Definitely male, because they always use the same old lines for picking up people.



EGG TIMERS: Egg timers are female because, over time, all the weight shifts to the bottom.



HAMMERS: Male, because in the last 5000 years, they've hardly changed at all, and are occasionally handy to have around.



THE REMOTE CONTROL: Female. Ha! You probably thought it would be male, but consider this: It easily gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know which buttons to push, he just keeps trying


You might not have known this, but a lot of non -l iving objects are actually either male or female.: click here to read the entire thread »

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Brew01
Surrey, British Columbia Canada
Posted: Sep 16, 2008, 8:06 AM CST
KHD100 wrote:
I have never had my nails done..... it would have been a waste since I was the one bringing in the firewood, shoveling the fricken snow off the drive way, etc etc etc..... I wonder about you Brew... your misconceptions on women might be the reason .... you tick them off so easily.

Soap Operas Manicure/Nails Facial

You have no Idea.... Starting to feel sorry for you kiddo.


Relax kid, I was only joking, what happen, lose your sense of humor ?
hug


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Brew01
Surrey, British Columbia Canada
Posted: Sep 15, 2008, 11:28 PM CST
On a chain of beautiful deserted islands in the middle of nowhere, the

following people are stranded:



Two Italian men and one Italian woman.

Two French men and one French woman.

Two German men and one German woman.

Two Greek men and one Greek woman.

Two British men and one British woman.

Two Bulgarian men and one Bulgarian woman.

Two Japanese men and one Japanese woman.

Two Vietnamese men and one Vietnamese woman.

Two Irish men and one Irish woman.

Two Canadian men and one Canadian woman.









One month later, on these absolutely stunning deserted islands in the

middle of nowhere, the following things have occurred:







- One Italian man killed the other Italian man for the Italian woman...



-The two French men and the French woman are living happily together in

a ménge a trois.



-The two German men have a strict weekly schedule of alternating visits

with the German woman.



-The two Greek men are sleeping together and the Greek woman is cooking

and cleaning for them.



-The two British men are waiting for someone to introduce them to the

British woman.



-The two Bulgarian men took one look at the Bulgarian woman and started

swimming to another island.



-The two Japanese have faxed Tokyo and are awaiting instructions.



-The two Vietnamese men have set up a pharmacy, liquor store,

restaurant, and laundry, and have gotten the woman pregnant in order to

>>supply employees for their stores.



-The two Irish men divided the island into north and south and setup a

distillery. They do not remember if sex is in the picture because it gets

somewhat foggy after a few liters of coconut whiskey. However, they're

satisfied because the English aren't having any fun.



-The two Canadian men are contemplating suicide, because the Canadian

woman will not shut up and complains relentlessly about her body, the true

nature of feminism, what the sun is doing to her skin, how she can do

anything they can do, the necessity of fulfillment, the equal division of

household chores, how sand and palm trees make her look fat, how her last

boyfriend respected her opinion and treated her nicer than they do, and

how her relationship with her mother is the root cause of all her

problems, and why didn't they bring a damn cell phone so they could call

911 and get them all rescued off this Godforsaken deserted island in the

middle of freaking nowhere so she can get her nails done and go shopping.

I think that was Kim (aka KHD100)
sticking out tongue


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Brew01
Surrey, British Columbia Canada
Posted: Sep 15, 2008, 8:20 AM CST
KHD100 wrote:
'Whatever you give a woman, she's going to multiply. If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby.

If you give her a house, she'll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal.

If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her.

So - if you give her any crap, you can expect a ton of shit.'

Love and appreciate all the women in your life


And let's not forget...
Give her an inch and she'll take a mile
sticking out tongue
HI KIM !!!!!!!


Advice for Men: click here to read the entire thread »

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Brew01
Surrey, British Columbia Canada
Posted: Sep 15, 2008, 8:18 AM CST
Dawn50 wrote:
Hey Brew

Your still around


Hi kid, I just pop in from time to time, say hi to you good looking ladies, and see if anything new has come up
wink
Have a good day


She was sooooo blond.............................: click here to read the entire thread »

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Brew01
Surrey, British Columbia Canada
Posted: Sep 11, 2008, 10:50 PM CST
Q: What do you call a zit on a blonde's ass?
A: A brain tumor.




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