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is anyone building a Ark?

Or, said a different way:

Cocky: Thinks he has to prove to the world how great he is.

Confident: KNOWS he doesn't have to prove a damn thing to anybody.

Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children is enough.

Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.

Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
A: Childbirth.

Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational.
A: So what's your question?

Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.

Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
A: Right after you find out you're pregnant.

Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?
A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.

Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A: Yes, pregnancy.

Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
A: Not if you change the baby's nappy very quickly.

Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
A: When the kids are in college.



TEN WAYS TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE "HORMONE ISSUES" :


1. Everyone around you has an attitude problem.
2. You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet.
3. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.
4. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say.
5. You're using your cellular phone to dial up every bumper sticker that says: "How's my driving-call 1- 800-".
6. Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting practice.
7. Everyone seems to have just landed here from "outer space".
8. You can't believe they don't make a tampon bigger than Super Plus.
9. You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.
10. The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday..


TOP TEN THINGS ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND

10. Cats' facial expressions.
9. The need for the same style of shoes in different colors.
8. Why bean sprouts aren't just weeds.
7. Fat clothes.
6 Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best time.
5. The difference between beige, ecru, cream, off-white, and eggshell.
4. Cutting your hair to make it grow.
3. Eyelash curlers.
2. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made.

AND, the Number One thing only women understand :

1. OTHER WOMEN

Well don't know about other women but only honest .careing men with a sense of humour and social skills interest me.

I found your fluffy handcuffs, also the fruit tasting gels and the.... Oh hell! just hurry up and come back! ? No point in having all these toys and no one to play with!!!

I'm not necessarily a fan, but he must be laughing all the way to the bank. $100 mil. Then again, guys get that to play baseball. Is this a great country or what?

THE GAY FLIGHT ATTENDANT (This one is too funny to not forward.)
>>
>>My flight was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant,
>>who seemed
>>to put everyone in a good mood as he served us food and drinks. As
>>the plane
>>prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and told us
>>that
>>"Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he'll be landing the
>>big scary
>>plane shortly, so lovely people, if you could just put your trays
>>up, that
>>would be super."
>>
>>On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed this well-dressed and
>>rather
>>Arabic looking woman hadn't moved a muscle. "Perhaps you didn't
>>hear me over
>>those big
brute engines but I asked you to raise your trazy-poo, so
>>the main
>>man can pitty-pat us on the ground."
>>
>>She calmly turned her head and said, "In my country, I am called a
>>Princess
>>and I take orders from no one."
>>
>>To which (I swear) the flight attendant replied, without missing a
>>beat,
>>Well, sweet-cheeks, in my country I'm called a Queen, so I outrank
>>you.
>>Tray-up, Bitch."

They say to believe in God is to just BELIEVE. If that's the case than why do so many people have so many questions as to his existence??

If he created earth than how come they say Dinosaurs roamed the Earth before Christ? Didn't he create Earth?

If all of this happened in Israel & Jerusalem than why is Jesus portrayed as White?

If Adam and Eve were white, where did Blacks & Asians spring from?

Does anyone else ever think about questions like this??

very nice