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skimpydoo: Number 10
Life is sexually transmitted.

Number 9
Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

Number 8
Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

Number 7
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

Number 6
Some people are like a Slinky ... not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.

Number 5
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

Number 4
All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.Number 3
Why does a slight tax increase cost you $200.00 and a substantial tax cut saves you 30¢?Number 2
In the 60s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR 2008:
We know exactly where one cow with Mad-cow-disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in America but we haven't got a clue as to where thousands of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration.And a thought for today…"Life is like a jar of jalapeños. What you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow".

HJFinAZ: Well, in the event you are not dead in 50 years, do you desire to be sitting on your porch saying "I wish I would have taken that trip"??

Tater: You are closer to your end destination you will have less years of hardship ahead compared to 10 yrs ago
Well MOST people get wiser I hope that made up for the other two..

Zeelander: I'm left handed.... I just adapt and don't whine about it.

No comments from the peanut gallery...

zee

Tech49: I'm glad you ask.

I shoot a rifle, shotgun, or bow and arrow all left handed. I shoot a pistol, use a hammer and many other tools too, either right or left handed. Can even write with my left hand, but better with my right.

What did you think I was talking about??

Indyfella: when you're in the middle of boring family conversations, it's easy to say... "well, I gotta go pee".(they understand)

Claayer: I am right handed. <--- oh but that was my left thumb (by the looks of it)

aren't lefties meant to be more arty?

Helloo Darlynda

Tech49: I am right handed most of the time, but there are a few things I do left handed.

lktolbert: Here are a few good things about becoming older:Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.

Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.

Every year you become a little richer in friends

You are more at peace with yourself

You are smarter, sharper and stronger

Sex is hotter

More people turn to you for advice

You are luckier than a lot of people to still be alive!

You have more stories to share with the world

If you've never smoked, you can start now and it won't have time to hurt you.

Things you buy won't have time to wear out.

In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.

It's harder and harder for sexual harassment charges to stick.

Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

No one expects you to run into a burning building.

People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

There's nothing left to learn the hard way.

You can eat dinner at 4:00.

You can live without sex but not without glasses.

You enjoy hearing about other people's operations.

You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.

You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.

You send money to PBS.

You sing along with the elevator music.

You talk about "good grass" and you're referring to someone's lawn.

Your eyes won't get much worse.

Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.

Your joints are more accurate than the National Weather Service.

Conrad73: I sure thought someone had started another Political Thread.

WhatUwish4: Oh honey...... many things, JUST YOU WAIT!!


(cause you have a long way to go yet!)

Zeelander: Never gonna say never... wait did I say never?... does that count?... OMG what do I do? ... does this mean all my nevers are now null and void?I need some help here

Zee