Posted: Nov 20, 2008, 3:58 PM CST
But what about woman:
1) Free drinks, free dinners, free movies!
2) Speeding ticket? What's that?
3) New lipstick gives you a whole new lease on life.
4) If you have to be home in time for Melrose Place, you can say so, out loud.
5) If you're not making enough money, you can blame the glass ceiling.
6) You can sue the President for sexual harassment.
7) No fashion faux pas you make could rival The Speedo.
8) Brad Pitt
9) You know why it's good to have 5 pairs of black shoes.
10) Discovering a designer dress on the clearance rack can be considered a peak life experience.
11) You understand why a phone call between 2 women never lasts under ten minutes.
12) You understand the inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made.
13) A salad, diet drink, and a hot fudge sundae make a balanced lunch.
14) At times, chocolate really can solve all your problems.
15) You know the difference between cream, ivory, and off-white.
16) You always get to choose the movie.
17) You don't make fools of men. Most of them are do-it-your-self types.
18) No one passes out when you take off your shoes.
19) Excitement is as close as the nearest beauty-supply store.
20) If you forget to shave, no one has to know.
21) If you're dumb, some people will find it cute.
22) You have the ability to dress youself.
23) You can quickly end any fight by crying.
24) You've never had a goatee.
25) You can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.
26) You know which glass was yours by the lipstick mark.
27) The remote control is not an extension of yourself.
28) You get to hate Kathie Lee in the way only another woman truly can.
29) Your conversations generally consist of more than just "uh huh, yep, ok, then bye."
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