fromdusktildawn Forum Posts

fromdusktildawn
Nunya, Michigan USA

Posted: Today, 1:45 AM CST

tanja_70 wrote:

Ok. I understood this one:

She expecting present which cost from 0-200 (Am I right?)

No, it goes from 0-200, an expression some people use for the odomoter on fast cars, instead she got a scale which went from awww fuck it I'm going to bed goodnight and good luck

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fromdusktildawn
Nunya, Michigan USA

Posted: Today, 1:40 AM CST

I need some gasoline, a match, and a private plane right about now.....

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fromdusktildawn
Nunya, Michigan USA

Posted: Today, 1:35 AM CST

tanja_70 wrote:

This is mean joke, but I have big and I forgive you

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fromdusktildawn
Nunya, Michigan USA

Posted: Today, 1:33 AM CST

tanja_70 wrote:

Can you explained that for me, please.

I don't know

Ok..... American jokes are typically like this "Mislead someone and then take them by surprise with a comment" such as,
**All of this is misleading**
Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was
really pissed.

She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the
driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!"

The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke
up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box
gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.

Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought
the box back in the house.
**Now surprise**
She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Bob has been missing since Friday.

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fromdusktildawn
Nunya, Michigan USA

Posted: Today, 1:21 AM CST

tanja_70 wrote:

As much as I try…….that is out of my power to understand some “idioms” which seam like jokes.

And if I understand them some of them are not funny for me.

What I should to do?

Ok, let me help you.... do you know knock-knock jokes?
If so then "Knock Knock"

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fromdusktildawn
Nunya, Michigan USA

Posted: Today, 1:11 AM CST

Da10th wrote:

Contract killers need employment too!

do I smell a job opportunity???? Nope, just gunpowder.

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fromdusktildawn
Nunya, Michigan USA

Posted: Today, 1:09 AM CST

I'll probably just color in my theology superheroes book

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fromdusktildawn
Nunya, Michigan USA

Posted: Today, 1:01 AM CST

THE PERFECT HUSBAND

When I went to lunch today, I noticed an old lady sitting on a park bench sobbing her eyes out. I stopped and asked her what was wrong. She said, "I have a 22-year-old husband at home. He makes love to me every morning and then gets up and makes me pancakes, sausage, fresh fruit and freshly ground coffee."

I said, "Well, then why are you crying?"

She said, "He makes me homemade soup for lunch and my favorite brownies and then makes love to me for half the afternoon."

I said, "Well, why are you crying?"

She said, "For dinner he makes me a gourmet meal with wine and my favorite dessert and then makes love to me until 2:00 a.m."

I said, "Well, why in the world would you be crying?"

She said, "I can't remember where I live."

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fromdusktildawn
Nunya, Michigan USA

Posted: Today, 12:44 AM CST

shipoker58 wrote:

massage her what????

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fromdusktildawn
Nunya, Michigan USA

Posted: Today, 12:43 AM CST