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Now you know why there is always a long line for the women and never one for men.
Tongue in cheek, it really is not always so bad lol





Why ladies take sooo long in the washroom............: click here to read the entire thread »

Thank you I copied this did not write it myself.


Why ladies take sooo long in the washroom............: click here to read the entire thread »

Yes they are in order.
I am to chose the place and the date.
I will be going to Winnipeg soon.
Meet his friends and drive back to my place.




Looking for someone for my younger sister: click here to read the entire thread »

She just told me her hair is grey and everyone tells her to leave it that way.
Yep used to have those braids.
Now my hair is short and I love it.




Looking for someone for my younger sister: click here to read the entire thread »

your butt and runs down your legs and into your shoes.

The flush somehow sucks everything down with such

force that you grab onto the empty toilet paper

dispenser for fear of being dragged in too.

At this point, you give up. You're soaked by the

spewing water and the wet toilet seat. You're

exhausted. You try to wipe with a gum wrapper

you found in your pocket and then slink out

inconspicuously to the sinks.

You can't figure out how to operate the faucets with

the automatic sensors, so you wipe your hands with

spit and a dry paper towel and walk past the line of

women still waiting.

You are no longer able to smile politely to them.

A kind soul at the very end of the line points out a

piece of toilet paper trailing from your shoe. (Where

was that when you NEEDED it?? ) You yank the paper

from your shoe, plunk it in the woman's hand and tell

her warmly, 'Here, you just might need this.'

As you exit, you spot your hubby, who has long since

entered, used, and left the men's restroom. Annoyed,

he asks, 'What took you so long, and why is your

purse hanging around your neck?' ********

This is dedicated to women everywhere who deal with a

public restrooms (rest??? you've GOT to be kidding!!).

It finally explains to the men what really does take

us so long. It also answers their other commonly asked

questions about why women go to the restroom in pairs.

It's so the other gal can hold the door, hang onto

your purse and hand you Kleenex under the door! *******

This HAD to be written by a woman! No one else could

describe it so accurately!


Why ladies take sooo long in the washroom............: click here to read the entire thread »

When you have to visit a public bathroom,
you usually find a line of women, so you smile

politely and take your place. Once it's your turn,

you check for feet under the stall doors.

Every stall is occupied.

Finally, a door opens and you dash in, nearly

knocking down the woman leaving the stall.

You get in to find the door won't latch. It doesn't

matter, the wait has been so long you are about to wet

your pants! The dispenser for the modern 'seat covers'

(invented by someone's Mom, no doubt) is handy, but

empty. You would hang your purse on the door hook, if

there was one, but there isn't - so you carefully, but

quickly drape it around your neck, (Mom would turn

over in her grave if you put it on the FLOOR!), yank

down your pants, and assume 'The Stance.'

In this position your aging, toneless thigh muscles

begin to shake. You'd love to sit down, but you

certainly hadn't taken time to wipe the seat or lay

toilet paper on it, so you hold 'The Stance.'

To take your mind off your trembling thighs, you reach

for what you discover to be the empty toilet paper

dispenser. In your mind, you can hear your mother's

voice saying, 'Honey, if you had tried to clean the

seat, you would have KNOWN there was no toilet paper!'

Your thighs shake more.

You remember the tiny tissue that you blew your nose on

yesterday - the one that's still in your purse. (Oh yeah,

the purse around your neck, that now, you have to hold

up trying not to strangle yourself at the same time).

That would have to do. You crumple it in the puffiest

way possible. It's still smaller than your thumbnail.

Someone pushes your door open because the latch

doesn't work. The door hits your purse, which is

hanging around your neck in front of your chest, and

you and your purse topple backward against the tank of

the toilet. 'Occupied!' you scream, as you reach for

the door, dropping your precious, tiny, crumpled

tissue in a puddle on the floor, lose your footing

altogether, and slide down directly onto the TOILET

SEAT. It is wet of course. You bolt up, knowing all

too well that it's too late. Your bare bottom has made

contact with every imaginable germ and life form on

the uncovered seat because YOU never laid down toilet

paper - not that there was any, even if you had taken

time to try. You know that your mother would be

utterly appalled if she knew, because, you're certain

her bare bottom never touched a public toilet seat

because, frankly, dear, 'You just don't KNOW

what kind of diseases you could get.'

By this time, the automatic sensor on the back of the

toilet is so confused that it flushes, propelling a

stream of water like a fire hose against the inside of
the bowl that sprays a fine mist of water that covers
Cont.


Why ladies take sooo long in the washroom............: click here to read the entire thread »

Thank you for the vote of confidance girl. Lol
Sign up with Plenty of fish or called pof.
Since CS themselves have ads on here about other dating sites it must be okay to mention it.




Would love to find someone for my little sister................: click here to read the entire thread »

Hi, I have tried to phone her to have her send me a picture.
I will post it as soon as I get it.




Would love to find someone for my little sister................: click here to read the entire thread »

My little sister is a cutie.
Barely 5 feet if she is, lol.
She is 59 years old and lives in Holland.
She is coming to Canada for my wedding.

For the first time in years she expressed the
desire to find someone.
She would love to live in Canada or the U.S.


Would love to find someone for my little sister................: click here to read the entire thread »

My little sister is a cutie.
Barely 5 feet if she is, lol.
She is 59 years old and lives in Holland.
She is coming to Canada for my wedding.

For the first time in years she expressed the
desire to find someone.
She would love to live in Canada or the U.S.




Looking for someone for my younger sister: click here to read the entire thread »

1. Two blondes walk into a building.......... You'd think at least one of them would have seen it..

2. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.

3. I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him $50 that he
Couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, "No, the steaks are too high."

4. My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in.

5. A man came round in hospital after a serious accident. He
Shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied "I Know you can't, I've cut your arms off".

6. I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a muscle.

7. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. They lit a fire in the
Craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

8. A man goes to the doctor, with a strawberry growing out of his head. He says to the Doctor, "What can you do about this?" The doc says "I'll give you some cream to put on it."

9. 'Doc I can't stop singing The Green, Green Grass of Home' "That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome. ' Is it common? ' "It's not unusual."

10. A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet. "My dog is cross-eyed, is there anything you
Can do for him?" "Well," said the vet, "let's have a look at him"
So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then he checks his teeth. finally, he says, "I'm going to have to put him down."
"What? Just because he's cross-eyed?" "No, because he's too heavy"

12. Two elephants walk off a cliff...boom, boom!

13. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

14. So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me "Can you give me a lift?" I said "Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it.'

15. Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. There are 5 people
In my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my Dad,or
My older Brother Colin, or my younger Brother Ho-Cha-Chu. But I think it's Colin.

16. Two fat blokes in a pub, one says to the other "Your round." The other One says "So are you, you fat *&&**"

17. Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid,and the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.

18. "You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today.They left a little note on the windscreen. It said, 'Parking Fine.' So wasn't that nice?"

19. A man walked into the doctors, he said, "I've hurt my arm in several places" The doctor said, "Well don't go there anymore"

20. Ireland's worst air disaster occurred early this morning when a small two-seater Cessna plane crashed into a cemetery. Irish search and rescue workers have recovered 1826 bodies so far and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the night


How you look at it eh?...................: click here to read the entire thread »

Two men were talking. 'So, how's your sex life?'

'Oh, nothing special. I'm having Social Security sex.'

'Social Security sex?'

'Yeah, you know; I get a little each month, but not enough to live on!'


LOUD SEX .........
A wife went in to see a therapist and said, 'I've got a big problem,
doctor. Every time we're in bed and my husband climaxes, he lets out this
ear splitting yell.'
'My dear,' the shrink said, 'that's completely natural. I don't seewhat
the problem is.'
'The problem is,' she complained, 'it wakes me up!'

---

QUIET SEX.....

Tired of a listless sex life, the man came right out and asked his wife
during a recent lovemaking session, 'How come you never tell me when you
have an orgasm?'

She glanced at him casually and replied, 'You're not home!'

---

CONFOUNDED SEX......
A man was in a terrible accident, and his 'manhood' was mangled and torn
from his body. His doctor assured him that modern medicine could give him
back his manhood, but that his insurance wouldn't cover the surgery since
it was considered cosmetic. The doctor said the cost would be $3,500 for
'small, $6,500 for 'medium, $14,000 for 'large.'

The man was sure he would want a medium or large, but the doctor urged
him to talk it over with his wife before he made any decision. The man
called his wife on the phone and explained their options. The doctor came
back into the room, and found the man looking dejecte d.
'Well, what have the two of you decided?' asked the doctor.

The man answered, 'She'd rather remodel the kitchen.'

---

WEDDING ANNIVERSARY SEX......
A husband and his wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th
wedding anniversary. The husband yells, 'When you die, I'm getting you a
headstone that reads: 'Here Lies My Wife-Cold As Ever'.'
'Yeah,' she replies, 'when you die, I'm getting you a headstone that
reads: Here Lies My Husband - Stiff At Last.''

---

WOMEN'S HUMOROUS SEX.....
My husband came home with a tube of K Y jelly and said, 'This will make
you happy tonight.'
He was right. When he went out of the bedroom, I squirted it allover
the doorknobs. He couldn't get back in.

---

ELDERLY SEX......
One night an 87 year old woman came home from Bingo to find her 92 year
old husband in bed with another woman. She became violent and ended up
pushing him off the balcony of their 20th floor assisted living
apartment killing him instantly.

Brought before the court on charge of murder, the judge asked her if she
had anything to say in her defense. She began coolly, 'Yes, your honor, I
figured that at 92, if he could have sex ... He could fly.'


Different kinds of sex....................: click here to read the entire thread »

Oh boy Drui that makes a total of 10 inches.
It would make you gag lol


The bottle of Merlot...................: click here to read the entire thread »

You have the right attitude for sure!
Yep you never seen a moving truck behind a hearse eh?

Money can do a lot of harm and it can do a lot of good too.


The bottle of Merlot...................: click here to read the entire thread »

Lol that is more then we need to know.
But what about the rest the homes the cars the money?


The bottle of Merlot...................: click here to read the entire thread »

A man asked a waiter to take a bottle of Merlot to an unusually

attractive woman sitting alone at a table in a cozy little restaurant.
So the waiter took the Merlot to the woman and said, 'This is from the gentleman who is seated over there.' and indicated the sender with a nod of his head.

She stared at the wine coolly for a few seconds, not looking at the man, then decided to send a reply to him by a note.

The waiter, who was lingering nearby for a response, took the note from her and conveyed it to the gentleman.

The note read:

'For me to accept this bottle, you need to have a Mercedes in your garage, a million dollars in the bank and 7 inches in your pants'.


After reading the note, the man decided to compose one of his own in return. He folded the note, handed it to the waiter and instructedhim to deliver it to the lady.

It read:

'Just to let you know things aren't always what they appear to be, I have a Ferrari Maranello, BMW Z8, Mercedes CL600, and a Porsche Turbo

in my several garages; I have beautiful homes in Aspen , Miami , and a 10,000 acre ranch in Louisiana.
There is over twenty million dollars in my bank account and portfolio. But, not even for a woman as beautiful as you are, would I cut off three inches. Just send the bottle back.


The bottle of Merlot...................: click here to read the entire thread »

Lela I am sooo very happy for you.
You deserve it girl.
May your happiness last many many years!


For my friends!!: click here to read the entire thread »

Arlene it would make me very happy to find you met someone.
There are several great people on here that I find hard to believe they have not met someone.
Hey very sexual and sensual picture of you girlfriend


Robert's picture lol: click here to read the entire thread »

It is also free whaaat. Have a look I was on several myself.
I enjoyed the attention.


Robert's picture lol: click here to read the entire thread »