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One of the Presidential canidates was at a construction site and needed to pee. At the fifth story there was no place to go. He had one of the secret service men stand on the end board and let him walk to the end to pee. The secret service man left the board to arrest a worker for shooting a nail gun near the canidate. The canidate fell to the ground. The men on the second floor reported that he must be gay. The claimed he had his penis out and was yelling "Where did the co*k sucker go!"

Hello I am doing really well , How about your self

Little ole ladies gotta have lovin too!! ....Especially if all the little ole men are dead from viagra overdose !! ha

Please Rub my Thigh And Then,,,,,,,,,,,Defence Attorney:
Will you please state your age?

Little Old Lady:
I am 76 years old.

Defence Attorney:
Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened the night of April 1st?

Little Old Lady:
There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me.

Defence Attorney:
Did you know him?

Little Old Lady:
No, but he sure was friendly.

Little Old Lady:
He started to rub my thigh.

Defence Attorney:
Did you stop him?

Little Old Lady:
No, I didn't stop him.

Defence Attorney:
Why not?

Little Old Lady:
It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Albert died some 20 years ago.

Defence Attorney:
What happened next?

Little Old Lady:
He began to touch my breasts.

Defence Attorney:
Did you stop him then?

Little Old Lady:
No, I certainly did not!

Defence Attorney:
Whyever not?

Little Old Lady:
His touching made me feel all alive and excited. I haven't felt that good in years!

Defence Attorney:
What happened next?

Little Old Lady:
Well, I was feeling so 'spicy' that I just laid down and told him 'Take me, young man. Take me now!'

Did he take you?

Little Old Lady:
Hell, no! He just yelled,'April Fool!'And that's when I shot him, the little bastard.

I met a man who was incredibly hot. Tall, handsome, just beautiful. And, his dick was by far the best I had ever seen. He was just 54. He had lost all desire and become impotent. It killed me. I loved him anyway, but I think that ruined everything between us. . .

O.K. I'm watching "good will hunting" Minnei driver wants to get the good night kiss out of the way early in the date with matt damon. Matt says "I was hoping to get good night laid, but I'll settle for kiss." Minnie laughs, ect, etc. Could this line ever be pulled off irl without getting punched in the mouth?

Hey there darlin
Ready for flirtin'?

We're all blessed.

I met a young man last week who is living next door with his wife (a temporary situation while they sell their house) Since we share web design as a hobby, he came over for coffee a few days ago. During our conversation he became aware of my financial situation. Tonight he came over with 6 large bags of groceries, enough staples to last me 'till next spring.

I didn't know how to feel, a little embarrassed, touched, and fighting my pride. Angels in human form do exist.