Posted: Nov 13, 2008, 4:28 PM CST
druidess6308 wrote:No, Conrad...the funny thing is, I actually don't drink as heavily as some I know. As soon as the alcohol hits my bloodstream and I begin to feel that sensation and relaxation, the battle begins, and I don't want to stop.
If you've never been an alcoholic, then you don't know what my shoes feel like, Conrad. I do. I'm aware that my system metabolizes it differently, I've had the education, and I feel it begin within minutes. Maintaining control is hard, though it gets easier with time.
It was easy to fall back into those ways when I sat beside my late husband and drank with him for 12-16 hours. It was easy to walk away from it with him to take care of him...and yet, if I had to go somewhere I NEEDED to stop for a drink or two while I was out.
Harder was walking away from it again on my own this past February...right after what should have been our 1 yr wedding anniversary. But I did. I realized what was happening with that and the coke, and what the consequences would be, and to walk away from the coke, I walked away from the alcohol. It's only recently that I've been able to have the occasional drink and not want the coke.
But if I'm tense, I still want more alcohol, and it's harder to draw that line. But I draw it. I think of my sons, and what I want in life, and I draw it. It's what I am, but it's not who I have to be.
Don't analyze me, you don't know me well enough.
i could, and it wouldn't be the first time
, be totally wrong, but my feeling is that you aren't a true alcoholic, but someone who turns to alcohol to get them through the tough times. |i think that being able to turn off the urge to drink, however hard that may be, and i'm sure it is incredibly hard at times, shows that you do not have real addiction to alcohol.
i think they are two separate entities... we all, or some of us, can feel we 'really need a drink' when times get tough- and it may last 2 hours 2 days or months- but to be able to say- i need a drink now, tonight or tomorrow and then i will stop because i've dealt with what is going on- is a totally different situation than someone that say, like a friend of mine, will say- I have to collect my kids at 3pm, and i know i should keep them and the other people in my subdivision safe, but , what the hell, i can't do this without half a bottle of vodka in my system, will still go on and drink to the state of semi oblivion and still go and collect their kids from school , putting their own, their kids , and others lives in danger- is not just the victim of a past situation , but of a
disease that they have no conscious control over, and no 'psychology expert' will assure me of different
Does a recovering alcoholic have control over his addiction if he/she decides to drink occasionally?: click here to read the entire thread »