A far more accurate account of the events of that fateful morning...
>Baby bear goes downstairs, sits in his small chair at the table. He
>looks into his small bowl. It is empty. "Who's been eating my
>porridge?" he squeaks.
>
>Daddy Bear arrives at the big table and sits in his big chair. He
>looks into his big bowl and it is also empty. "Who's been eating my
>porridge?!?" he roars.
>
>Mummy Bear puts her head through the serving hatch from the kitchen
>and yells, "For God's sake, how many times do I have to go through this
>with you idiots? It was Mummy Bear who got up first. It was Mummy Bear
>who woke everyone in the house. It was Mummy Bear who made the coffee.
>It was Mummy Bear who unloaded the dishwasher from last night and put
>everything away. It was Mummy Bear who swept the floor in the kitchen.
>It was Mummy Bear who went out in the cold early morning air to fetch
>The newspaper and croissants. It was Mummy Bear who set the damn
>table.
>
>"It was Mummy Bear who walked the bloody dog, cleaned the cat's litter
>tray, gave them their food, and refilled their water.
>
>"And now that you've decided to drag your sorry bear-asses downstairs
>and grace Mummy Bear with your grumpy presence, listen carefully, because
>I'm only going to say this once....
>
>"I HAVEN'T MADE THE F***ING PORRIDGE YET!!!"
The true story of Goldilocks and the three bears: click here to read the entire thread »