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kieyotie San Antonio, Texas USA
I can’t think of anything worse after a night of drinking than waking up next to someone and not being able to remember their name, or how you met, or why they’re dead. (Laura Kightlinger)uh oh


WHAT WOULD SHOCK YOU THE MOST ON A FIRST DATE?: click here to read the entire thread »

kieyotie San Antonio, Texas USA
Two ministers doing missionary work in the South Seas are captured by a tribe and tied to stakes.

The chief says to them, "You have a choice – death, or ugga bugga."

The first guy says, "Well, I guess ugga bugga."

The chief shouts "UGGA BUGGA!" and 30 members of the tribe attack and sodomize the first missionary.

The chief then asks the second minister, "Now you have a choice, death or ugga bugga."

He says "well, my religion does not allow me to choose ugga bugga, so I suppose it must be death."



The chief says, "Very well," and shouts "DEATH. But first, UGGA BUGGA!


Ugga Booga!!!!: click here to read the entire thread »

kieyotie San Antonio, Texas USA
I bet the main reason the police keep people away from a plane crash is they don’t want anybody walking in and lying down in the crash stuff, then, when somebody comes up, act like they just woke up and go, "What was that?!" devil


Types of Liars on CS: click here to read the entire thread »

kieyotie San Antonio, Texas USA
Here's what I'll be dreaming about now...mumbling
Contrary to what most people would say, the most dangerous animal in the world is not the lion or the tiger or even the elephant. It’s a shark riding on an elephant’s back, just trampling and eating everything they see.


Going to bed now and hope that I can dream of.... : click here to read the entire thread »

kieyotie San Antonio, Texas USA
Talking about 3 words....


A guy meets a hooker in a bar. She says, "This is your lucky night. I’ve got a special game for you. I’ll do absolutely anything you want for $300, as long as you can say it in three words." The guy replies, "Hey, why not?" He pull his wallet out of his pocket, and one at a time lays three hundred-dollar bills on the bar, and says, slowly: "Paint…my…house."


" I LOVE YOU" 3 WORDS:STRANGLED MEANING: click here to read the entire thread »

kieyotie San Antonio, Texas USA
A guy joins a monastery and takes a vow of silence: he’s allowed to say two words every seven years. After the first seven years, the elders bring him in and ask for his two words. "Cold floors," he says. They nod and send him away. Seven more years pass. They bring him back in and ask for his two words. He clears his throats and says, "Bad food." They nod and send him away. Seven more years pass. They bring him in for his two words. "I quit," he says. "That’s not surprising," the elders say. "You’ve done nothing but complain since you got here."


Say Something - other than Happy New Year: click here to read the entire thread »

kieyotie San Antonio, Texas USA
An English explorer was taking part in an expedition to the Himalayas. Led by a grizzled local guide, they ascended one of the less frequently climbed peaks. Roughly half way up the side of the mountain, one of the expedition came across a set of large manlike tracks in the snow. "Yeti tracks," the guide said with a gruff voice as he passed them. "One thing you must know before we proceed; do NOT, under any circumstances, touch the yeti."bigfootNo Film.jpg

The expedition heeded his warning and continued to climb the slope, night fell and the explorers set up their tents. In the dead of night the Englishman awoke to the sound of his tent entrance unzipping. Half asleep he looked up to see an enormous eight foot yeti standing above him. In fear for his life the explorer jumped up and ran out of the tent, banging into the yeti in the process. The yeti, after being touched by the explorer let out a deafening howl and began to chase the explorer down the slope.

The explorer ran away from the camp as quickly as his legs could take him, after he rounded a corner he looked behind him to see the bounding form of the yeti still chasing him.

So the explorer continued to run, reaching the bottom of the mountain in just two days, exhausted he paused to rest awhile. After just a few moments, the explorer began to hear the soft 'thud thud thud' of yeti feet on snow, he looked up the slope to see the yeti still chasing him and only moments away.

Bigfootwarming.jpg The explorer took off again, reaching a supply shack a couple of miles away, once there quickly buying a mountain bike and pedaling his way to the nearest town, some fifty miles away. The journey took him several days over the rough terrain and after his arrival he booked into a hotel to recuperate.

Two days later the man left his hotel to see about booking transport back to England. As soon as he turned around though he saw the form of the yeti on the horizon, bounding towards him at great speed. Mortified by this sight, the explorer hurriedly bought a car and drove it away from the village all the way to Delhi. Once he arrived, the man wasted no time in getting on the next plane to London.

After his arrival back in London, the man went back to his London home for a while to recover and to plan his next expedition. He had been there less than two weeks and was gazing out of a window when he saw a familiar large bounding, manlike creature running down his street; the man couldn't believe it, somehow the yeti had followed him to England.bigfootsasquats.jpg

The man had little choice but to run away again, he used any means he could, bike, car, or on foot to try to escape the yeti, but each time he looked behind him, it was just moments before the yeti came into view. Eventually the man made it all the way to Edinburgh and from there ran into the open Scottish countryside. He continued to run but the yeti just kept getting closer and closer, and in the end the man could run no more.

With the yeti less than a minute away from him, the man finally stopped and turned around to face the oncoming creature. With the last of his strength he stood up straight as the yeti caught up with him. The eight foot tall yeti towered above the man who could only stare in terror. The yeti extended his hand and poked the Englishman squarely in the chest with one long finger and with a low rumbling voice the yeti began to speak:

"Tag! You're it!"


Don't Touch!: click here to read the entire thread »

kieyotie San Antonio, Texas USA
You are doing well, and I apologize I did not mean to imply you were unintelligent.
I personally know how irritating it is to come across misspelled words, (especially in books.)
My post did come across harsh, and I apologize again.

(Also there is an internet browser: Firefox, that helps by spell checking everything. Also has better virus protection than internet explorer, too.)


Hi....may I crash?: click here to read the entire thread »

kieyotie San Antonio, Texas USA
Watching WANTED here. Not affecting what I post.
Although I do know that what I read and watch DOES affect the short stories I write.


How many do this ? : click here to read the entire thread »

kieyotie San Antonio, Texas USA
She must be really tired of unintelligent men. At least she CAN spell. I hate being a human dictionary for people.cheers


Hi....may I crash?: click here to read the entire thread »

kieyotie San Antonio, Texas USA
when you drop her off at the house she says, "If any law enforcement asks, we spent the night together, I was great in bed and have a mole right here. You know, if anyone asks."


WHAT WOULD SHOCK YOU THE MOST ON A FIRST DATE?: click here to read the entire thread »

kieyotie San Antonio, Texas USA
Being hit with a taser and waking up tied to an unknown bed. (I hate that, if you just ask I'm game, but I hate the twitchy after effects.)uh oh


WHAT WOULD SHOCK YOU THE MOST ON A FIRST DATE?: click here to read the entire thread »

kieyotie San Antonio, Texas USA
Hunting in Alaska, Racing in the mountains of Arkansas, Boarding a suspicious vessel in the military, flying to the arctic, sailing in a storm, facing death...
Adventure happens, you just have to realize and enjoy it when it happens to you.


I BET NONE OF YOU HAVE EVER EXPERIENCE ANY ADVENTURE IN YOUR LIFE ? WHATS THE MOST ADVENTEROUS: click here to read the entire thread »

kieyotie San Antonio, Texas USA
Guantanamo Bay, nursing homes, ICU. As for Home Depot, is that the men shopping inside or those waiting for work out front?


Where NOT to Find a Mate: click here to read the entire thread »

kieyotie San Antonio, Texas USA
I still have chocolate from Halloween and Christmas. And plenty of fresh hot cocoa.


Hi....may I crash?: click here to read the entire thread »

kieyotie San Antonio, Texas USA
I WANTED a MYSTIC PIZZA but ANDRE said "HAROLD AND KUMAR GO TO WHITECASTLE". I had a FISTFUL OF DOLLARS, but they had A FEW DOLLARS MORE. None of them had CARS, so they took a TAXI.
I curled up with my PRETTY WOMAN and THE OTHER BOLEYN GIRL. ROCKY and HIS GIRL FRIDAY were back from their ROMAN HOLIDAY. So once we'd eaten we were going to the BACHELOR PARTY at THE BEST LITTLE WHOREHOUSE IN TEXAS.


USE YOUR IMAGINATION.: click here to read the entire thread »

kieyotie San Antonio, Texas USA
Hal 9000 anyone?Or Annie Wilkes with her sledge hammer?


favorite villain: click here to read the entire thread »

kieyotie San Antonio, Texas USA
I wanted to do some historic bungee jumping so I went to The Bridge on the River Kwai.


USE YOUR IMAGINATION.: click here to read the entire thread »

kieyotie San Antonio, Texas USA
A couple of my favorites are the white haired guy from Tank Girl and the Operative from Serenity, he shows how someone obeying the law and doing 'good' can be evil.
For some fun reading check out the evil overlord list.devil


favorite villain: click here to read the entire thread »







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