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lisajane Forum Posts

This is a list of Forum Posts made by lisajane
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lisajane Forum Posts




lisajane
sliema, Majjistral Malta
Posted: Dec 20, 2007, 1:27 AM CST
In response to:
Dang - with this thread I can't possibly forget it's somebody's birthday......... I didn't start it just in case she blames me!

Ok - so what do you get a lovely lady on her 21st 21st birthday?
First off .....

Happy Birthday for the 23rd Martiparty, i wish you joy and happiness for this special day to a special and lovely lady.hug

As answer to Rusty's question - so what do you get a lovely lady on her 21st 21st birthday?

Well how about yourself naked all but for a red bow tie and a cheeky grin!!! Bringing the dear Marti breakfast in bed and then when you have lost the cheeky grin a red rose in your mouth (minus the thorns...ouch!) This thought might be giving me and most other CS members the shudders but im sure Marti would be happy.
yay


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lisajane
sliema, Majjistral Malta
Posted: Dec 19, 2007, 4:59 AM CST
In response to:
Oslo - avoid St Paul's Bay like the plague -

only joking antcus........

(I think angelthingyperson lives there too!)

oh and our very own Jacko lives there too, so yes better avoid it!!!sticking out tongue


Malta... again...: click here to read the entire thread »

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lisajane
sliema, Majjistral Malta
Posted: Dec 19, 2007, 4:54 AM CST
In response to:
Well, yes...that's fine an' all...but LJ, would you mind not groaning so much while you work....you're embarrassing the customers.....
Actually it wasnt me that was doing the groaning that was the hootsman, hes my very own guinea pig!!!wink


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lisajane
sliema, Majjistral Malta
Posted: Dec 19, 2007, 3:59 AM CST
In response to:
No...actually I thought you were the lady with the large silly-cones buying the straps outfit.....I was the campish-looking guy in the far corner dusting the dildos....it's my other day-job....the middle-aged thingy with the blue hair is KT by the way....don't you think he looks smashing when he minces around in those wild red platform shoes???....
yes.rolling on the floor laughing and im the Quality control inspector that tests all the 'toys' to see if they are in good working order and apply to health and safety regulations.


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lisajane
sliema, Majjistral Malta
Posted: Dec 19, 2007, 3:43 AM CST
In response to:
chasing dogs along the beach instead of pussies keeps you warm
But if you actually catch a pussy it might keep you warm......just make sure it doesnt have a nasty bite!!sticking out tongue


Malta... again...: click here to read the entire thread »

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lisajane
sliema, Majjistral Malta
Posted: Dec 18, 2007, 5:18 PM CST
Christina do you suffer from any or all of these?

Sudden nervousness or aggression.

Abnormal posture.

Difficulty walking.

Severe muscle twitching.

Rapid weight loss.

Lack of a good appetite.

Bizarre laughter and then foaming at the mouth.


As these are symptoms of Mad Cow Disease!!!








NOW... i'll be around to throw bombs once in a while: click here to read the entire thread »

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lisajane
sliema, Majjistral Malta
Posted: Dec 18, 2007, 4:52 PM CST
In response to:
Goodnight lisa.
Goodnight jacko and all, i hope the threads still here in the morning so i can post some more!wave waving santa


Really sick jokes beware.: click here to read the entire thread »

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lisajane
sliema, Majjistral Malta
Posted: Dec 18, 2007, 4:48 PM CST
last joke before i go to bed.....

After dinner and a movie, I took my date to a secluded makeout spot. It wasn’t long before we were hot and heavy into some intense sex. Halfway through it she turned over and put her ass into the air saying, "Fuck me where it stinks". So I drove her to the dump!


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lisajane
sliema, Majjistral Malta
Posted: Dec 18, 2007, 4:37 PM CST
Two hookers were on a street corner.
They started discussing business and one of the hookers said, "Yep, it’s gonna be a good night, I smell cock in the air".
The other hooker looked at her and said, "No, I just burped."rolling on the floor laughing


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lisajane
sliema, Majjistral Malta
Posted: Dec 18, 2007, 4:35 PM CST
How do you get a dog to stop humping your leg?

Pull down your pants and bend over.


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lisajane
sliema, Majjistral Malta
Posted: Dec 18, 2007, 4:31 PM CST
In response to:
yes so i have noticed.......they are attached to your head with a dick hanging off them.
it was not meant for jacko this, just incase HE got offended.hug


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lisajane
sliema, Majjistral Malta
Posted: Dec 18, 2007, 4:27 PM CST
lets see how long this thread lasts...... i bet it will be removed tomorrow!sigh


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lisajane
sliema, Majjistral Malta
Posted: Dec 18, 2007, 4:24 PM CST
This guy goes into a bar and goes up to the counter to order a drink. A very attractive woman is sitting there and she says to him "eat my pussy". He looks around not believing she is talking to him and she says again "eat my pussy". So the guy goes down on her and after awhile gets something in his mouth. Its a bean...he looks up and thinks fuckit she is fine and eats some more. Then he gets something else in his mouth, a pea. He eats a little more and gets something else in his mouth..a piece of corn....he says "what the fuck is this bitch, vegetable soup? She replies "No, the last guy that ate me threw up".


mmmmm! Lovely, not!barfing rolling on the floor laughing


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lisajane
sliema, Majjistral Malta
Posted: Dec 18, 2007, 4:14 PM CST
In response to:
Jacko got himself some new balls!
yes so i have noticed.......they are attached to your head with a dick hanging off them.rolling on the floor laughing


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lisajane
sliema, Majjistral Malta
Posted: Dec 18, 2007, 4:11 PM CST
In response to:
nah......go for it, live dangerously!
Ok here goes but first just to let you know i didnt find it funny but its very very sick.....


How can a guy get a blow job and a shag at the same time?



Shag a woman thats nine months pregnant.


Sorry told you it was sick!!!

*Lisa bends over waiting for her arse to be booted!!!!!!*


Really sick jokes beware.: click here to read the entire thread »

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lisajane
sliema, Majjistral Malta
Posted: Dec 18, 2007, 4:00 PM CST
Very good jokes there but i think i will wait for some more till i post the sickest joke ever as i might actually get booted out with the joke.


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lisajane
sliema, Majjistral Malta
Posted: Dec 18, 2007, 3:46 PM CST
Two guys are sitting at a bar talking and one guy asks the other guy, "Man, do you ever have a Freudian slip?"

"What are you talking about?" says the other guy.

"Well I was at the airport the other day and one of the clerks had really big tits, and I meant to say, 'Could I have two tickets to Pittsburgh,' but I accidentally said, 'Could I have have two tickets to Titsburgh."

The other guy says, "Oh yeah! I know what you're talking about! I was sitting at the dinner table with my wife the other day and I meant to say, 'Could you pass the salt please,' but instead I said, 'Bitch you ruined my life!"




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lisajane
sliema, Majjistral Malta
Posted: Dec 18, 2007, 3:41 PM CST
*A young women went to the antiques road show dangled a tampon in the experts face and said go on you clever fucker what periods this from.


*What is the best way to screw a fat lady???

Pull up each roll until you smell shit, then go back one!!


*what have porkpies and old ladies pussies got in common ?

You have 2 bite through the crust 2 suck the juice out on both .
barfing

*What's the fatty part around the pussy called??

The Woman.


*How do you entice a gay guy to have sex with a woman?

You fill her pussy with shit.


Now give me your worse sick jokes!!!
And then i will give you the sickest joke i have ever heard (which will be very offensive)




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lisajane
sliema, Majjistral Malta
Posted: Dec 15, 2007, 8:21 AM CST
In response to:
this is just plain silly.....



A man is driving along the motorway with his wife in the passenger seat. During the drive, the wife gets an idea. She starts taking off her clothing piece by piece and tossing them out the window.

The guy is shocked but aroused. She gets her shoes, socks, etc. and chucks them out. Finally, she whips her underwear off and throws it all out onto the motorway. The guy is laughing and leering at her. He looses control of the car in the process and crashes into a barrier at the side.

Unfortunately, the air-bag doesn't go off on his side, and he finds himself wedged in under the steering wheel. "Help, go get help......aggghhhh, I'm stuck", he shouts.

"But I have no clothes on. What'll I do ?", she screams.

"Here", he says wiggling his foot, "Take my shoe and put it over your crotch. It'll have to do, love. Quick, hurry!"

She takes the shoe off his foot and places it over her crotch and gets out of the car, limping and shouting for help. After a few hundred yards of yelling and running a trucker notices this naked hysterical woman holding a shoe over her crotch, and pulls over.

"What's seems to be the trouble?", he asks.

"Help me", she screams, "My husband is stuck".

"If he's stuck up that far I'm afraid I can't help you."
rolling on the floor laughing a good one Lagoona.


A rude joke : click here to read the entire thread »

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lisajane
sliema, Majjistral Malta
Posted: Dec 15, 2007, 8:18 AM CST
In response to:
...make that TWO flaps across the face.....ouch!....
Well yes you are right.....but i shouldnt think that you'd be saying ouch, more like sticking out tongue

rolling on the floor laughing


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