lisajane Forum Posts

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lisajane sliema, Majjistral Malta
In response to:
'everything seems to be progressing nicely' - does that mean you are going to star in his CS dating utube video?

(just joking - I am pleased for you and your anonymous and shy partner!)

Thanks Rusty and im also pleased that you and Marti are still 'progressing nicely'.

I think most people have guesses who my "shy partner" is anyway, enough hints have been dropped.
I don't think KillingTime (there you go!) would mind me telling you all that we are dating now since its been nearly 3 months together (if he does... ohhh well,sticking out tongue its done now. )grin


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lisajane sliema, Majjistral Malta
Some onions can taste pungent, some mild, some are bitter and some are sweet. Just like womenwink rolling on the floor laughing (depending if they have washed or not!)


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lisajane sliema, Majjistral Malta
proudD'oh!


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lisajane sliema, Majjistral Malta
Great joke Jacko.....rolling on the floor laughing I would have been pround of it.applause bowing


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lisajane sliema, Majjistral Malta
In response to:
A pretty woman, with a bubbly personality, cheerful and can't be defeated so easily by BOYS!! I think she's awsome in every way!!
Very good choice Brunette, that could work and im sure lagoona wouldnt complain with that choice


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lisajane sliema, Majjistral Malta
The next sick joke coming right up!..........


A group of Aussie gangsters are sitting around deliberating over methods they will employ in robbing a bank.

After a lot of thought, they all agree on the way to go about it.

In the wee hours of the following morning they meet and embark on their plans to get rich.

Once inside the bank, efforts at disabling the internal security system get under way immediately.

The robbers, expecting to find one or two huge safes filled with cash and valuables, are more than surprised to see hundreds of smaller safes scattered strategically throughout the bank.

The first safe's combination is cracked and inside the robbers find only a bowl of vanilla pudding.

'Well,' says one robber to another, 'at least we get a bit to eat.'

They open up the second safe and it also contains nothing but vanilla pudding and the process continues until all the safes are opened and there is not one dollar, a diamond, or an ounce of gold to be found.

Instead, all the safes contain containers of pudding.

Disappointed, each of the mobsters makes a quiet exit, leaving with nothing more than queasy, uncomfortably full stomachs.

The following morning, a Sydney newspaper headline reads, 'Australia's largest sperm bank robbed early this morning.'




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lisajane sliema, Majjistral Malta
In response to:
Sounds like something that can really flourish lagoona

I think you have got to find a lady with a sense of humor to be able to put up with you....who needs a dull face anyway!! You deserve more...I match you up in my mind with someone on here....and just for your info, the other 2 couples I matched up in my mind before you months ago are TOGETHER now!! Your luck might be just around the corner
So who's the lucky....ermmm or unluckysticking out tongue Lady whos gonna get matched with our entertaining Lagoona?


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lisajane sliema, Majjistral Malta
here's a good joke worthy of this thread.....

On the first day God created the dog. God said, "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. I will give you a life span of twenty years."

The dog said, "That's too long to be barking. Give me ten years and I'll give you back the other ten." So God agreed.

On the second day God created the monkey. God said, "Entertain people, do monkey tricks, and make them laugh. I'll give you a twenty-year life span."

The monkey said, "How boring, monkey tricks for twenty years? I don't think so. Dog gave you back ten, so that's what I'll do too, okay?" And God agreed.

On the third day God created the cow. God said, "You must go to the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer. I will give you a life span of sixty years."

The cow said, "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. Let me have twenty and I'll give back the other forty." And God agreed again.

On the fourth day God created man. God said, "Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. I'll give you twenty years."

Man said, "What? Only twenty years! Tell you what, I'll take my twenty, and the forty the cow gave back and the ten the monkey gave back and the ten the dog gave back, that makes eighty, okay?"

"Okay," said God, "You've got a deal."

So that is why the first twenty years we eat, sleep, play, and enjoy ourselves; for the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family; for the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren; and for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

Life has now been explained to you



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lisajane sliema, Majjistral Malta
Heres another one for you......


An Australian man was having coffee and croissants with butter and jam in a cafe, when an American tourist, chewing gum, sat down next to him.

The Australian politely ignored the American, who, nevertheless started up a conversation.

The American snapped his gum and said, "Do you Australian folk eat the Whole bread?"

The Australian frowned, annoyed with being bothered during his breakfast, and replied, "Of course."

The American blew a huge bubble. "We don't. In the States we only eat what's inside. The crusts we collect in a container, recycle them, transform them into croissants, and sell them to Australia."

The American had a smirk on his face. The Australian listened in silence.

The American persisted. "D'ya eat jam with the bread?"

Sighing, the Australian replied, "Of course."

Cracking his gum between his teeth, the American said, "We don't. In the States we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, then we put all the peels, seeds and left-overs in containers, recycle them, transform them into jam and sell it to Australia."

The Australian then asked, "Do you have sex in the States?"

The American smiled and said, "Why, of course we do."

The Australian leaned closer to him and asked, "And what do you do with the condoms once you've used them?"

"We throw them away, of course." replied the American.

Now it was the Australian's turn to smile. "We don't. In Australia, we put them in a container, recycle them, melt them down into chewing gum and sell them to the United States. That's why it's called Wrigley's."




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lisajane sliema, Majjistral Malta
In response to:
typical lisa good afternoon
good afternoon Jacko, i hope life is treating you well.


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lisajane sliema, Majjistral Malta
ohhhh by the way i never post jokes that i don't find amusing myself, so i guess that makes me the biggest sicko of them all...rolling on the floor laughing


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lisajane sliema, Majjistral Malta
Heres a sick joke for all you sicko's out there.......


A guy goes to the pub, and says to his friend "You won't believe what happened. I was taking a short cut along the railway track, and I found a girl tied to it. I untied her, and then we had sex over and over again, all the positions, everything.

His friend replies, "That's great: did you get a blow job?"

Oh, no: I never found her head.


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lisajane sliema, Majjistral Malta
Black pudding although it sounds disgusting is a type of black sausage made from cooking blood.


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lisajane sliema, Majjistral Malta
I dont know about all those statistics on internet dating, but in my case i can say it works. i have met a man from CS and we have been dating for nearly 3 months now and everything seems to be progressing nicely and i hope it will remain so.

As have other couples on this site which i wish all the luck and happiness that they all deserve.hug


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lisajane sliema, Majjistral Malta
rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing i like this kind of joke, sick but funny


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lisajane sliema, Majjistral Malta
In response to:
Just one of those days where I wanted a 'great british breakfast'....a fry up. Bacon, eggs, fried bread, baked beans lots of tea, yummy
Just one of those days where I want to indulge myself, to hell with the cholesterol for once, to hell with healthy eating, just enjoy the food.
How do you indulge yourself?
Now that you are saying it i just fancy a good old english breakfast like above with some mushrooms, black pubbing, irish sausages and hash browns....yum! yum!

when i want to indulge myself i like doing a bit of retail therapy or a nice box of roses/milk tray chocolates, a tub of sour cream pringles and washed down with a lovely glass or two of wine.


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lisajane sliema, Majjistral Malta
The 10th November is a saturday not a friday! so is going to be Fri 9th Nov or Sat 10th nov?





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lisajane sliema, Majjistral Malta
In response to:
isn't that called tunning?
yes fitted with nitro oxide, so when you press a button you get a spurt of energy or a spurt of something.wink rolling on the floor laughing


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lisajane sliema, Majjistral Malta
In response to:
Exactly Dragon...!!..underuse is the worst thing!!!....there's nothing like taking an under-utilised, ignored, if somewhat older model out for a spin around the block.....slip her clutch a bit, get her wheels spinning, and then ram her firmly into first gear......the response is truly breath-taking!!...I don't know why men insist on always going for the latest newest thing.....second-hand can be a very gratifying experince as well, don't you think??...
Maybe you are into test driving modificated cars ie. old cars fitted with new body kits and bumpers?rolling on the floor laughing

Second hand but with the look and feel of underused!!!!!dancing banana


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lisajane sliema, Majjistral Malta
Hi all again, well if not everyone can make it on the 16th we could always do it for the week after on the 23rd. see which day suits the most people and we can take it from there. i think a friday is better then a saturday as people tend to make other arrangements for saturday evenings, but i will leave it in your hands Jacko.


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