portiea Forum Posts

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portiea Forum Posts




Portiea
Konstanz, Baden-Wuerttemberg Germany
Posted: Jun 25, 2008, 1:35 PM CST
Ambrose2007 wrote:
Yeah, I know what you mean, P. I especially recall this one thread where photos of handsome guys was posted, accompanied by much drooling from CS ladies...

Ah, well, hopefully we can all ascend to less superficial and more intellectually lofty levels...


1. I started those threads in response to several threads that had been done at the time which were contests about the beautiful women of CS.
2. I do say my original post on this thread that I " am not implying I am free of it" and I used the word "we" repeatedly.

One thing I know for certain, there are people, men and women, who understand and appreciate where I am coming from, and I am thankful for those people.


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Portiea
Konstanz, Baden-Wuerttemberg Germany
Posted: Jun 25, 2008, 1:27 PM CST
The poll/thread about men that was replicated in the Where Are All The Beautiful 45 yr old women thread was done on April 27.

The first day I posted on CS forums was April 26. I don't remember seeing this thread or being aware of it and did not post on it. It was brought back last night (night for me here) when I was sleeping, so again I never saw it. That men did not take offense to it is surely something for them to explain. If such things are said about men and they do not take offense to them, how will things change? If they do not object to being treated this way, then it will not change.

I agree women do object to being spoken of badly and treated badly, but it is not a matter of temperment. It is mostly about culture. If you look historically at the place of women in society, for thousands of years, and even currently in many cultures, women are treated extremely badly. It is no different than racism. Their positon in society is often horrifying and brutal, and in Western culture that has only changed in the past 100 years; in Victorian times, women were the legal property of their fathers or husbands and if they didn't marry by the age of 30 they were destined to be unmarried. Equal rights and equal attitudes are still not within the realm of life of women today, in modern Western society, though it has certainly improved in legals ways. However, attitudes toward women, especially aging women, are cruel...I observe it all the time. The sexual attacks on Hillary Clinton as she ran for president were appalling, but not she or anyone else seriously objected because those objections would have resulted in more attacks. But they were the type of things that would not hve been said if she were of another race.

The oppression against women goes back since the beginning of civilization and is no different than the oppression of racism. To suggest that bigotry has gone completely is naive and disingenuous. Current attitudes toward women linger in the type of things listed on your thread, which is one reason why I objected to it. The other reason is that I see constantly the put down and rejection of older women on these singles sites---especially on pof, but here and elsewhere also. And I also see a great deal of of it coming from the European men and have lifed in cultures where it is extremely prevalent.

If men chose not to take offense at the previous thread, that is their choice. If I were a man, I probably would have. That women didn't, I think that reflects the prevailing attitude set by men. I don't believe in my thread I called anyone stupid. I rarely use that word.

When you compare the situation of men in our society and suggest it is equal to that of women, I think this shows a lack of a broader vision of history and culture.
dcj22 wrote:
So, Ras, did you send personal email to everyone who responded to this poll?



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Portiea
Konstanz, Baden-Wuerttemberg Germany
Posted: Jun 25, 2008, 1:20 PM CST
The poll/thread about men that was replicated in the Where Are All The Beautiful 45 yr old women thread was done on April 27.

The first day I posted on CS forums was April 26. I don't remember seeing this thread or being aware of it and did not post on it. It was brought back last night (night for me here) when I was sleeping, so again I never saw it. That men did not take offense to it is surely something for them to explain. If such things are said about men and they do not take offense to them, how will things change? If they do not object to being treated this way, then it will not change.

I agree women do object to being spoken of badly and treated badly, but it is not a matter of temperment. It is mostly about culture. If you look historically at the place of women in society, for thousands of years, and even currently in many cultures, women are treated extremely badly. It is no different than racism. Their positon in society is often horrifying and brutal, and in Western culture that has only changed in the past 100 years; in Victorian times, women were the legal property of their fathers or husbands and if they didn't marry by the age of 30 they were destined to be unmarried. Equal rights and equal attitudes are still not within the realm of life of women today, in modern Western society, though it has certainly improved in legals ways. However, attitudes toward women, especially aging women, are cruel...I observe it all the time. The sexual attacks on Hillary Clinton as she ran for president were appalling, but not she or anyone else seriously objected because those objections would have resulted in more attacks. But they were the type of things that would not hve been said if she were of another race.

The oppression against women goes back since the beginning of civilization and is no different than the oppression of racism. To suggest that bigotry has gone completely is naive and disingenuous. Current attitudes toward women linger in the type of things listed on your thread, which is one reason why I objected to it. The other reason is that I see constantly the put down and rejection of older women on these singles sites---especially on pof, but here and elsewhere also. And I also see a great deal of of it coming from the European men and have lifed in cultures where it is extremely prevalent.

If men chose not to take offense at the previous thread, that is their choice. If I were a man, I probably would have. That women didn't, I think that reflects the prevailing attitude set by men. I don't believe in my thread I called anyone stupid. I rarely use that word.

When you compare the situation of men in our society and suggest it is equal to that of women, I think this shows a lack of a broader vision of history and culture.


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Portiea
Konstanz, Baden-Wuerttemberg Germany
Posted: Jun 25, 2008, 7:53 AM CST
kissmedeeply wrote:
Yes i did..but both are not perfect..he loves to aggravate me..

but he also found out i gave also take but give it back just as good or even better

I love you Eric...

Morning to you portiea


Morning Kissme....and btw,Eric: She loves you!!!wave laugh


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Portiea
Konstanz, Baden-Wuerttemberg Germany
Posted: Jun 25, 2008, 7:49 AM CST
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Portiea
Konstanz, Baden-Wuerttemberg Germany
Posted: Jun 25, 2008, 7:48 AM CST
alabamabebe wrote:
They have gone somewhere that they are appreciated, which obviously is not with you.
laugh laugh laugh thumbs up


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Portiea
Konstanz, Baden-Wuerttemberg Germany
Posted: Jun 25, 2008, 7:46 AM CST
kissmedeeply wrote:
Honest
Faithful
kind
loving
Has to love kids
thumbs up And you found him!!!!applause


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Portiea
Konstanz, Baden-Wuerttemberg Germany
Posted: Jun 25, 2008, 7:45 AM CST
alabamabebe wrote:
Some of the thread here are superficial, but that may be because we don't show our deep serious side to everyone in the world, but reserve it for those we want to become close to. IRL I don't go around exposing my deepest feelings to everyone I meet, so why would I be expected to do it online for the entire world to see.

I consider my interactions here on the forums to be like a big house party. There are people I like, and those I don't like or trust, but I'm here to enjoy myself. So I try to keep it light and fun, with a serious thought thrown in from time to time when it's called for. My deeper side is reserved for those who I consider worthy of it.
Good points...something to think about, for me.....Thanks.thumbs up


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Portiea
Konstanz, Baden-Wuerttemberg Germany
Posted: Jun 25, 2008, 7:37 AM CST
Lagoona22 wrote:
1: Loving and (still) interested in a sex life...:-)
2: Organised.....there are a lot of "Chaos Children" out there....
....ie, don't bring your chaos, disorder, traumas and debts into my life, I'm not here to save you...
3: Honest, dependable and committed
4: Optimistic about life
5: Financially responsible
thumbs up


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Portiea
Konstanz, Baden-Wuerttemberg Germany
Posted: Jun 25, 2008, 7:33 AM CST
FlowerOfTheSun wrote:
I got downputting remarks about OLDER women and treatment from a 45 yr old (would you believe it!!) in the EU forums yesterday!!!
Yes, I would believe it.

What is interesting is that such people are dismissing so many absolutely wonderful people/women because of a notion about youth and beauty that is sold, SOLD, to them via the media. They are being manipulated, and they don't even know it.

I got bashed and hated over there for arguing the point that younger women should not be expected to find older men as appealing as men their own age....really, I was essentially villified....because I refused to accept the premise that 'age doesn't matter' How ironic, then you get attacked for being over 45....unreal. I wonder who the guy was that gave you such a load of shite.


Total double standard.....thumbs down


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Portiea
Konstanz, Baden-Wuerttemberg Germany
Posted: Jun 25, 2008, 7:29 AM CST
alex_192 wrote:
some people do not have any fun in life, and they come hee to have only fun

some people belie that finding a mate and having a relationship is only about fun, they forget that there is a serious side to the relationship, so they will go for those thread that the belive is fun

some of the people that are here only for the fun, they also belive that is fun to do the "chichat" in serious topics

take all this toghether and you will find that serious topics became rare, then is when we note all those threads that you mentioned before


Seems like a reasonable assessment.thumbs up


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Portiea
Konstanz, Baden-Wuerttemberg Germany
Posted: Jun 25, 2008, 7:17 AM CST
alabamabebe wrote:
I've not seen much if any older women bashing, if I did it didn't register. In fact it seems to be the opposite here, too many really young men going after 40-50 year old women. Mother figure maybe, or they just think we're hot? Anyway, I'm not into raising a child, I want a man who's close enough in age to be in the same life stage I am.


I was responding to this thread: Where have all of the beautiful 45yr olds gone?

Have seen other what I think is really unfair criticism of older women on this site, and have seen a lot more and a lot worse on another singles site with a forum. In Europe, men in their 40's and 50's look almost exclusively for women 15-20 years younger, women my age or younger. When I talk to them and ask why they are not looking for women their own age, wow, do I hear a lot of bashing of older women....so it may be more prevalent in Europe. Funnily, these guys are balding, have saggy bellies, etc. They are far from perfect, and hardly a young woman's prince charming....So, I started noticing the older women around me, and at least over here, they are generally fit, fashionable, intelligent, etc. I think it also applies around the world, as I travel a lot, that women do not age worse than the men...it is all a misconception. That's what I have observed.cheers


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Portiea
Konstanz, Baden-Wuerttemberg Germany
Posted: Jun 25, 2008, 6:39 AM CST
Lillym wrote:
I am in my 40's and I am very successful both personally and professionally. I also look after myself .. go to a gym everyday and I would say I look damn good for my age. In fact everybody says I look younger so there..

I really don't care for any of the bashing ...

What do I look for in men in their 40's and 50's?? Pretty much what you said.. I would add a good sense of humour, but then that's just me..
Good sense of humor, absolutely. Guess that may fall under positive attitude? Thanks Lilly!!wave


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Portiea
Konstanz, Baden-Wuerttemberg Germany
Posted: Jun 25, 2008, 6:29 AM CST
Lagoona22 wrote:
I can't see, in Darwinian terms, why people over 50 should have the same libido as a 25 year-old....I was under the impression that the menopause was nature's way of saying to a woman, "You've done your time, you've made your contribution to survival of the species, thank you very much, you can go now..." I'm sure men must also undergo some male version of menopause, in the sense that their desire to wildly sow oats all over the place diminishes somewhat....(just guessing here...)...

What would nature's aim be, to have loads of 50-something women who can't conceive anymore, and lots of 50-plus men who want sex all the time...??...for fun??...I don't think Nature thinks that way...or maybe Nature just has a sense of humour...


First of all, the Theory of Evolution is just that, a theory. It may be true, it may be flawed. In my knowledge of older women, some past menopause, is that they feel far more sexual and interested in sex after menopause because 1) their children are probably grown and away and they don't have to be preoccupied with motherhood and all its tasks 2) they don't have to worry about getting pregnant 3) they are far more experienced and confident as sexual beings when they were when they were younger --these are also things I have read about, and the biggest one 4) they are all very interested in sex, from what I can tell...by the girl talk night outs, etc.

As a species, we no longer engage in sexual activity for the simple purpose of procreation, and therefore, adhering to the theory behind the theory of evolution, we have have evolved certain characteristics that make sex more of an emotional need rather than a need to replenish the species. If that makes sense...


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Portiea
Konstanz, Baden-Wuerttemberg Germany
Posted: Jun 25, 2008, 6:22 AM CST
Bashing women over 40 or 45 seems to be a great international sport here and in the real world. It pretty much staggers me, because I work with, know and continually meet women in their 40's and 50's who are bright, lively, good looking, loving, creative, successful both personally and professionally, etc., etc. Many of them, it is true, are married, which may suggest that all the 'good ones are taken.' Don't know. But for the most part, they are not:

DEAD
FEDUP
TOO OLD
SENILE
FAT
UNHAPPY
GAY
SPINSTERISH
SAD
NARCISSISTIC

What do men and women look for or expect in a mate who is in his or her 40's or 50's?

I would think that women are looking for the same thing in older men as men are looking in for in older women, in general:

Someone who is in reasonably good health.
Someone with a positive attitude.
Someone who has zest for life.
Someone who takes care of him/herself physically.
Someone who is fairly/reasonably happy.
Someone who is not too self-involved.

Since I have been on singles sites, I have seen over and over again criticism of older women... And so I have begun to notice more the people around me. What I have noticed in the real world is that it all depends on the individual, how one ages. There are certainly older women who have not got really positive attitudes and who have not taken care of themselves, but there are far more who do and who have.

And what is equally true is that the same applies for older men. There are just as many older men who don't take care of themselves physically and don't have positive attitudes as there are older women. And there are plenty of older men with postive attitudes who do take care of themselves

I am wondering what others think of this issue?



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Portiea
Konstanz, Baden-Wuerttemberg Germany
Posted: Jun 25, 2008, 6:07 AM CST
StevenSchwartz wrote:
Why does everybody remind me to take my meds...You don't need to. My carer sticks to a strict schedule.
Good to know. It's just we care. teddy bear


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Portiea
Konstanz, Baden-Wuerttemberg Germany
Posted: Jun 25, 2008, 6:04 AM CST
StevenSchwartz wrote:
1. Desperate
2. Stunning
3. Ability to cook
4. Shares wardrobe
5. Did I mention desperate?


Don't forget to take your meds today Steven. Thanks for participating in this thread.thanks laugh rolling eyes


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Portiea
Konstanz, Baden-Wuerttemberg Germany
Posted: Jun 25, 2008, 6:03 AM CST
Lagoona22 wrote:
Quality man??....!!<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<


Seriously, do you endeavor to be a quality man, or is this just a bit of humor?


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Portiea
Konstanz, Baden-Wuerttemberg Germany
Posted: Jun 25, 2008, 6:01 AM CST
Lagoona22 wrote:
It depends...it's just that people out there have different libido levels....for some couples, sex once a month is normal, for another, once a day is normal....
you want someone who roughly matches where you're at...dontcha?

...and yes, of course your libido wanes as the years go by....it's in the nature of things...
what role would rampantly horny 75 year-olds play in the ecosystem??....


I don't know for sure...I think libido decreases when people are in settled relationships, at any age, and it probably decreases after 70, but otherwise...I am sceptical. But it's a good point that a couple should be fairly well matched in this area ... otherwise pretty frustrating for the one with a higher sex drive.


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Portiea
Konstanz, Baden-Wuerttemberg Germany
Posted: Jun 25, 2008, 5:56 AM CST
nomindgames wrote:
53 yrs. young,a great partner to have.I am ready to compete)tho I don't like to) with any 35 yr. old.I am just wiser in the world.I didn't do pll cause there was no choice that I beleive in.The women I know over 45 are fantastic and date often.Others have called a few of my freinds cougars,even me.I don't lke being branded.


The poll had no real or realistic choices...just seemed bitter and mean spirited. If you want to attract quality women over 45, and they do exist in multitudes, you need to be a quality man.


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