Posted: Feb 24, 2008, 12:40 AM CST
In response to:What is wrong with having kids??
Hi and welcome casie
My first was born 3 days before I turned 17. she is now 29.
first of all.. Having kids so young changes our perspective on the entire issue.
And for a short time after I divorced- I saw things the same as you do now.My son was born when I was 19 and I raised him alone.
But I also was smart enough to see the rest of the people my age and what they were doing with their lives.
Having kids so young is a huge problem. and I had the same problem, when women my age found out I had kids,, that usually killed any chances of a relationship.
But I couldn't be angry or upset. If I had done things in the nornal time line as most people.. waiting till I was older to have my kids, then I to would have been out there running around, party and all of the rest of the usual stuff that everyone elde that age was doing.
But not just age!.. even when I and my son got older.. women still ran.
You have got to stop and think real hard, Honestly.
anyone taking on a partner with kids has a huge load to carry,Number 1 being an extreme added expense. also the instant family factor!
That is a really big leap.
The norm is for a couple to meet, fall in love, get married, have kids and raise the family. GROW TOGETHER
Instant Family is like swallowing a whole watermellon instead of eating it in bites.
I know its not a Ball of fun but thats how it is. Especially if they don't have kids. It is like we expect them to raise another mans kids. or other womans kids.
another big difference.. In most cases the man is paying support. then add on top of that.. the extra expense of raising someone elses kids.
As I told you first off... I rasied My son alone... never got one penny of support on him,, but I still had to pay support on the rest om my kids.
I went thru hell raising him in these conditions, and now that I am 46,, kids are all grown and left home... Finally.. for the first time since I was 16... It time for me! Got fixed so no more kids, and I sure an not going to start over raising someone elses kids. That don't make me or anyone else in these conditions a bad person.
I have paid my dues.
You are the one that decided to have kids so young..and same as me...not being in a secure stable home before doing so....We can not blame others that do not choose the same hard part.
Just thank God and count your blessings if you do get lucky enough to find him! And truly appreciate the MAN willing to do so.
But it goe's both ways....I remained single the entire time I was raising my son. Because all of the women ran.
Best of luck to you finding the right guy!!
What is wrong with having kids??: click here to read the entire thread »