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Shit for $300 an hour i'll sing Mary Poppins to you if you want


Height???: click here to read the entire thread »

If you want to sink all you have to do is exhale the air from your lungs!!

If you want to stay under water a while there's bound to be some Navy SEAL footage available on the web to show you how to ambush people on lilos in the local swimming baths.

For all those about to stalk poor swimmers now, i ask you is it really clever and remember to buy the clip to put over your nose, it makes the urge to breath through your nose so much easier!!


Are you a floater or a sinker?: click here to read the entire thread »

It's not possible to occupy a country without sufficient forces to do the job.That's the reason the British Empire collapsed after all, for some strange reason after a world war people all of a suddern thought "hmmmn I think we would like to run ourselves now instead of you ruling over us".

Vietnam has a long history, and it's ironic most arent aware who trained the Vietnamese in gorilla tactics to deal with a modern army (IE the French FL) and consequently inflict sufficient losses to make the occupier basically leave.

Afghanistan is exactly the same, they have a tradition and have done so for avery long time as acting as mercenaries, fighting for and against the British at times in the past.The terrain makes it a very difficult country to occupy.

You cant fly safely (due to nice cheap surface to air missiles and the fact helocopters are nice and vulnerable.

The roads are easily mined and narrow in the mountains which makes ambushing really easy as well.

In short it's the same old same old but the only way to win a war is to use overwhelming numbers and then disarm the locals.If you don't, you've had it.

And now adays you can watch IED's blowing up Soldiers on the net as soon as someone uploads the footage via their phone or laptop within minutes of the incident happening.

The information/bullshit age is here ladies and gents.


Obama for President....tertius decimus.....Liberty!!!!!!: click here to read the entire thread »

If your vertically challenged i'll do the counselling cut price? Let's call it munchkin discount......now there's a nice feeling compassionate counsellor for you!!

For $300 an hour i can tell you the Dennis Leary Counselling technique.......

"My mother didn't love me...Shut the fuck up"....."I felt so alone as a teenager.....shut the fuck up"....."I'm not happy, i'm just not happy.....Shut the fuck up".

Sometimes Dennis is so damn sensitive


Height???: click here to read the entire thread »

What i know can be written on the back of a postage stamp.What i do know though it remember not to kiss and break wind at the same time.

Oh and tongues are not appropriate when kissing relatives or friends goodbye, even if their 2nd cousins.


Kissing: click here to read the entire thread »

Well, it's been said he's one of them as well!!!

Now how do i go about explaining that word without offending anyone


Here's what the "W"could stand for in George W. Bush.: click here to read the entire thread »

I think the most appropriate "W" to describe George at the moment is worried!!

Not only is he worried how he will go down in history as a leader, he's also worried a lynching party maybe getting together.


Here's what the "W"could stand for in George W. Bush.: click here to read the entire thread »

Well i made a mistake of travelling to a chatroom get together on one occasion in Birmingham, UK.....and i turned up all neat and well groomed as i was intending to go somewhere after and being a ponsy dresser i suppose i looked a little different from the others who mostly looked like they had escaped from the circus.

So coupled with the new info i dressed ok, i didn't smell, i had a personality and liked a laugh i had some pretty revolting offers in my inbox when i got home over the next few days!!

What i was amazed about though was all of a suddern some people were after me like i was fresh cakes at a weightwatchers meeting!! It made me feel pretty cheap but i did make 2 good friends out of the episode in the end so it was worth all the grief!!




What Guys do that Scares Women Away: click here to read the entire thread »

I've had 4 in real life!! Two were a massive problem, one where she was totally delusional and the other i had to virtually get the police involved (and i had to talk to her husband to get her to go away or i told him i would be contacting the police!!)

I think if you exhibit a sense of humour sometimes it takes on a meaning to the mentally ill that you cant quantify and just draws them closer, until they smell blood.

My approach was always to be friendly with everyone, until i found out some people were mad as a brush.


What Guys do that Scares Women Away: click here to read the entire thread »

I'm not available, and "out of order".

Hopefully in a few months i will be in enough condition to get myself hit over the head by a broom or something


are you available ?: click here to read the entire thread »

Ah shit, best i close the windows fast in case she try's to dive in the open windows!!!

I thought i was doing well airing the place out after cleaning it all and there was i making good places for stalkers to dive through my windows.

This recovery sitting still business is going to worry the living piss out of me if i get another stalker!! I'm not well enough to make a run for it yet!


What do women do that scares men away: click here to read the entire thread »

I decided years ago to emphasise my good points, like piles, hallitosis, gambling addictions, alcoholism, chronic bowl disorder and projectile vomiting.

If that fails i add that i'm broke, i cant cook, i'm trying to work out where all the fleas are coming from and then raise the possibility of a date before belching loudly without covering my mouth obviously.

Then again if you believe everything you read your an idiot.


What Guys do that Scares Women Away: click here to read the entire thread »

Does she glare and want to sniff a motorbike jacket?

If she's a chainsmoking clinger who disregarded i was going to date someone and still ignored that to try to get her hooks into me even to the point when the other lady invited me to a party then thats her, and tell her i've moved and changed the locks.......and i got a guard dog in case she visits!!


What do women do that scares men away: click here to read the entire thread »

Some people are say more "sensative" or "empathetic" and seem to access something else that the general population seem to "skip".

Some people won't believe things unless there held and shown right in their face to their worldview.

Skeptics would be well advised to read the following before hounding someone for something that they wouldn't be able to relate too, or possibly cope with the consequences on a daily basis.

"Absence of evidence is not the same as evidence of absence".


Wher are the psychics............: click here to read the entire thread »

One day i'll post a true story about "Aifie" and her real expectations of a ring that i made a joke about in a chatroom!

The concise version is that i got on well with her, her photo was, erm not like her and when i talked to other people at a social event even others would tell me that her eyes were burning a whole in the back ofmy head where ever i went.

It was acutely embarrassing to put it mildly and she even gave some people the impression that something was going on which i found really offensive!!

Somehow i can manage to bring out the stalker in a chatroom without any effort at all.


What do women do that scares men away: click here to read the entire thread »

Normally standing there in a pool of blood over the body over a recently garrotted ex boyfriend who still has every last knife that was in the house embedded in his chest always tips off the less than aware male that "this woman might be trouble".

Big clue, if a woman's angry looking, is quiet, is holding anything sharp and looking in your direction that's your cue to run or dive immediately for cover.

Also be aware these events can become even more dangerous if you mention your popping out to see a friend, you want to watch a sporting event or you have been foolish enough to miss an important date on the calender.

Looking in jeweller windows on the first date is also nearly as unnerving as the above garrotting incident!


What do women do that scares men away: click here to read the entire thread »

Mental illness, the use of websites and dating sites in particular go hand in hand.You only have to have casual glance at some of the personalities (or multiple ones) that inhabbit this and other websites to realise a significant proportion of the users can interact with other people in a normal manner where as in real life they would be unable to do so because of what ever "melancholy" permeated their personality.

The availability of computers, the ability the hide behind a persona you want to project is very appealing to some parties.

You'd never guessed i looked into this would you.....

The quantity of people with depression/sleep apnia/personality disorders would astonish you if you looked into the membership of any website.


Mental Health.. Have you ever had a nervous breakdown? : click here to read the entire thread »

I have learnt the most important lesson life has to offer, and now i am not bothered about fearing anything as it is a waste of time.

When your past the ego and self importance issue you realise it really doent matter one jot if you fell of the planet tomorrow.

This i am comfortable with, and as a few people will know recent events mean i absolutely believe what ive just typed.




MIRACLES: click here to read the entire thread »

I've "survived" several "incidents" where my life should have frankly been extenguished in one particular case i was very lucky not to be decapited.A very large piece of steel flew through the air and impacted just a fraction in front of me destroying the vehicle i was driving at high speed.

Had this roof off a dust cart impacted 3 inches higher it would have come through the windshield at 60mph cutting me clean in half at least and causing a multiple pileup on the busiest road in Britain (and i was just over the apex of the Dartford Bridge) and even with my best efforts there would have been no way i didn't kill anyone else at peak hour travel on a weekday.

Let's say i've definately used all my nine lives, and i'm clearly borrowing other peoples spares it seems.


MIRACLES: click here to read the entire thread »

Thats ok dear. your out of hearing range on the other side of the world!! Your safe from "Rob:The apprentice Sleep Strangler".

See i've even named myself much like the "Zodiac" so fist one to snore loud gets it


Mental Health.. Have you ever had a nervous breakdown? : click here to read the entire thread »