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To the hotel room


4 WORDS LEADING UP TO SEX: click here to read the entire thread »

Uhhh wow I will never look at toast the same way again.


Breakfast, anyone????: click here to read the entire thread »

I am smiling because I want to and it seems like a good thing to do right now.

Also because the person about me is doing the hokie pokie.


I'm smiling because...: click here to read the entire thread »

This is why you should always get a second opinion and sometimes maybe not another doctors.


Joe was moderately successful in his career, but as he got older he was increasingly hampered by incredible headaches. When his personal hygiene and love life started to suffer, he sought medical help. After being referred from one specialist to another, he finally came across a doctor who solved the problem.

"The good news is I can cure your headaches... The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition which causes your testicles to press up against the base of your spine. The pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles."

Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live for. He couldn't concentrate long enough to answer, but decided he had no choice but to go under the knife.

When he left the hospital, his mind was clear, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself. As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life.

He walked past a men's clothing store and thought, "That's what I need: a new suit." He entered the shop and told the salesman, "I'd like a new suit."

The salesman eyed him briefly and said, "Let's see... size 44 long." Joe laughed, "That's right, how did you know?"

"It's my job."

Joe tried on the suit. It fit perfectly. As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about a new shirt?" Joe thought for a moment and then said, "Sure..."

The salesman eyed Joe and said, "Let's see... 34 sleeve and... 16 and a half neck" Joe was surprised, "That's right, how did you know?"

"It's my job."

Joe tried on the shirt, and it fit perfectly. As Joe adjusted the collar in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about new shoes?" Joe was on a roll and said, "Sure..."

The salesman eyed Joe's feet and said, "Let's see... 9-1/2... E." Joe was astonished, "That's right, how did you know?"

"It's my job."

Joe tried on the shoes and they fit perfectly. Joe walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked, "How about a new hat?" Without hesitating, Joe said, "Sure..."

The salesman eyed Joe's head and said, "Let's see... 7-5/8." Joe was incredulous, "That's right, how did you know?"

"It's my job."

The hat fit perfectly. Joe was feeling great, when the salesman asked, "How about some new underwear?" Joe thought for a second and said, "Sure..." The salesman stepped back, eyed Joe's waist and said, "Let's see... size 36."

Joe laughed, "No, I've worn size 34 since I was 18 years old."

The salesman shook his head, "You can't wear a size 34. It would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache."




Radical Procedure: click here to read the entire thread »

One day Bill complained to his friend that his elbow really hurt. His friend suggested that he go to a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor.

''Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. It only costs $10." Bill figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause out popped a small slip of paper on which was printed: "You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water. Avoid heavy lifting. It will be better in two weeks."

Later that evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this machine could be fooled. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog and urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction. He went back to the drug store, located the machine, poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer again made the usual noise and printed out the following message:

"Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. Your dog has worms. Get him vitamins. Your daughter is using cocaine. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic. Your wife is pregnant with twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer. And if you don't stop jerking off, your tennis elbow will never get better."


Computer Diagnosis: click here to read the entire thread »

There are 10 boys in my family.Hmmm where do I start?I have eaten a goldfish and dirt with a worm in it.We locked my little brother in the closet for some hours.Now he hates small spaces.We convinced one of my brothers he was adopted.Oh and I also snacked on cat and dog food with a couple of my other brothers.

Well all I can say now thinking about this is I am glad I have a daughter.


Mean!!!: click here to read the entire thread »

Ok so you know me well.LOL


What men want...: click here to read the entire thread »

Well yeah sometimes that is my short list.


What men want...: click here to read the entire thread »

I am still irish.I would go there more if I could.


adults only............: click here to read the entire thread »

I was not trying to call anyone dumb.Me thinking that started before coming on CS this morning.It started at work.lol


adults only............: click here to read the entire thread »

Yeah yeah I am irish.


adults only............: click here to read the entire thread »

Wow that heartwarming.I am so sorry to hear about your dad.You know if you need anyone to talk to we are all here to listen no matter what it is.



Tribute to my Dad, Mason: click here to read the entire thread »

This must me national 'dont make sense day'


adults only............: click here to read the entire thread »

Click click??


adults only............: click here to read the entire thread »

Ok 15 and 22 dont count since they are the same :P but I like that I get 6.


What men want...: click here to read the entire thread »

Good I am not the only one that is.


adults only............: click here to read the entire thread »

Wow that looks like a beautiful place to live.What a nice start to your day you had.lol


WOOHOOO: click here to read the entire thread »

Ok so does anyone or can anyone explain to me this point of this thread?Or am I just completely missing something here?

I hope I am not the only one here that is.


adults only............: click here to read the entire thread »

1. More beer. More cheese. More sex.
2. Vitamin fortified cigars.
3. Public beer fountains.
4. Kitty catapults.
5. All day happy hour at a lesbian Hooters.
6. Wet T-shirt Fridays.
7. Replace NFL linebackers with genetically bred velociraptors.
8. Rocket boots.
9. Machine gun camp.
10. NASA space shuttle races.
11. Sledgehammer boxing.
12. Girlfriend TiVO so you can pause, rewind, and delete arguments.
13. Congressional pie fights.
14. Government research grants to build the perfect chicken parmesan hero.
15. More beer. More cheese. More sex.
16. Tomahawk missile surf boards.
17. Hot tub jury boxes.
18. Nacho cheese lipstick.
19. Personal midget-ninja chauffeurs.
20. New TV shows: PBS' The BBQ Hour, Total Kung-Fu Live, and America's Funniest Farts.
21. 24-hour, on call UN negotiator for when you stumble home late, drunk, with lipstick stains on your collar.
22.More beer. More cheese. More sex.
23. Condoms that whistle, whir, and honk when used.
24. Inflatable sex dolls who cook.
25. Beef jerky business cards.
26. Combination briefcase/pizza oven.
27. National Make-Out with Cheerleaders Day.
28. Art museums dedicated to framing copy-machine faxes of asses.
29. Robot gloves for crushing kegs of beer.
30. Karaoke "ejector" stages.
31. Opera glasses that broadcast ESPN.
32. The Astronaut Reserves.
33. Porno without all the "talking" filler.
34. Head banging elevated to "fine art".
35. All money spent on women tax deductible!
36. Free BBQ buffet at the DMV.
37. Passports to Margaritaville.
38. The ability to telepathically force anyone to belch on the spot.
39. One "Get Out of the Doghouse" card.


What men want...: click here to read the entire thread »

wow what a dummy


ok im not kidding!: click here to read the entire thread »