Connecting Singles^® Forums100% Free Online Dating

My favourite position is grabbing hold of my wallet and shouting:

'No, you can't have it.........it's mine!'



(I stuff my wallet full of monopoly money 'cos love's just a game, isn't it?)


NAME THE BEST SEXUAL POSITION: click here to read the entire thread »

Wouldn't you get tired after your wheels had been changed several times?

Plus you'd need one of those wheel brace thingies to get those nuts on and off quickly and smoothly...........




NAME THE BEST SEXUAL POSITION: click here to read the entire thread »

Yup - it's a hard life when women want to drown you with their love!




A Love Story: click here to read the entire thread »

I always get up when Sommer comes in........... a gentleman should always stand when a lady enters a room!


EU FORUM PARTY TONIGHT: click here to read the entire thread »

I always use my special 'low life credit card for losers' when I hire a car; it has a credit limit of £300 so the car hire company can't wallop me with a huge bill at the end!

By the way, most car hire companies now have either a £500 or £600 excess in the UK and you have to pay them something ridiculous like £12 per day to reduce this excess to £200 or zero... however if you shop around on the internet you can get hire car insurance that reduces your excess to zero for less than £2 per day!

Always return your car with a full tank if with a major car hire firm that starts you off with a full tank - they'll charge you well over double the normal cost of petrol otherwise.

Check the car VERY carefully for any scratches etc before you sign for the damn car - a tiny scratch could cost you £200 when you return the car and if it was there when you took the car out and didn't have it noted - tough!

You are NOT allowed to smoke in hire cars these days (reduces its resale value) so if you DO smoke carry an empty coke can as an ashtray and before you return the car leave the windows open for a few minutes and spray inside with an air freshener......a cheapo can of air freshener costs far less than a £45 extra valeting charge if they detect tobacco smells!

Lastly - don't worry......... 'shit happens' but what the heck, it doesn't ALWAYS happen and hiring nice new cars is kinda nice and how often can you afford to actually BUY a new car anyway.........

Last month I hired a car in the UK and got a fantastic deal via the internet - I paid £90, about 112 Euros, to hire a top of the range Vectra for a whole week!


car hire: click here to read the entire thread »

ABC stands for Arses Bums and C**ts

XYZ stands for 'extra large American snoring personage'

LOL stands for 'Lots of Love' or 'Luscious Opulent Lips'

ROTFLMAO = Rolling on the Floor Licking My Awesome Orio (an American biscuit thingy)

OMG = What large dangly bits you have! (said by appreciate lady to a man)

I hope I have been of help.........


Translation needed.....: click here to read the entire thread »

I just woke up - had two 88 year-old visitors and the husband drank almost a whole bottle of wine..........put it this way there is only a tiny drop left from the second bottle; then I had to cook for my mum while a bit 'tiddly' - then crashed out early!


EU FORUM PARTY TONIGHT: click here to read the entire thread »

I'm removing my bathrobe belt just in case any of you ladies get 'ideas'..............


A Love Story: click here to read the entire thread »

Thanks - I lost count of my trips by plane this year...but I know I booked and paid for and missed seven!


EU FORUM PARTY TONIGHT: click here to read the entire thread »

I have three bedrooms and FOUR bathrooms!


EU FORUM PARTY TONIGHT: click here to read the entire thread »

You get what you pay for.........I'll dance with you if you put 50 cents in the juke box!¬




EU FORUM PARTY TONIGHT: click here to read the entire thread »

being both a shit-stirrer and unemployed is quite a hard 'job' in itself!


How things change...: click here to read the entire thread »

Mirondenia - I love you too.....however I am 'taken' and I am very scared to upset my lover/partner/life coach/thingybobperson in any way so I must refrain from kissing you.....except, of course, on the hand!

~bows discretely~




Can't stand my neighbour - advice please: click here to read the entire thread »

If I'm the master you'll have to be my mistress?




EU FORUM PARTY TONIGHT: click here to read the entire thread »

Wow!

A very long post - so I won't quote it..............

Seems like two ladies are on a slightly different wavelength!

Misunderstandings happen - I still uphold that the EU forum is more comfortable for a mere European than some of the 'love us' or 'hate us' mentality you can get in 'les etats unis'.....

I have to say that I also dislike a herd mentality situation - and if a herd is braying for blood then no amount of rationality or logic will kill the desire for blood!

I have NOT read the relevent posts - I have neither the time nor inclination to do so.......... it's a very old story that I've seen happen many times in almost a decade of using the internet.

Peace!





How things change...: click here to read the entire thread »

Once upon a time, in the second millennium, a great sage from Zurich named 'Uncle Googlius' stumbled upon an interesting fact concerning the reproductive habits of a rather imposing plant that lived in the uppper Amazon basin.

Hastily Uncle Googlius posted a photograph of this plant onto the EU forum. This plant, whose scientific name I cannot even attempt to spell, was known by the natives as the 'kwambanangankokobwannyahnyah' plant - which simply translates into English:

'bloodydangerousgetthehelloutofthewayofthisthingy' plant

The plant looks a little like a venus fly trap thingy plant, but is about 1,000 times bigger............ it normally devours bats and flying foxes but has been known to suck off the arm of a man, woman or child stupid enough to stick a hand on it's pretty, 'delicate' leaves that cover it's huge 'jaws'.

Anyway, Uncle Googlius (being rather bored that day) decided to charter a private plane and take a small team to investigate this exotic and evil plant.

He rang up his intrepid explorer friend Smoky 'I'm up for it' Jones, and a few other characters who loved a little adventure.

Three days later they set off..........


Vunce upon a time.........: click here to read the entire thread »

Und vat did it tell you, Herr Google?


nelsoncare6000 Come and introduce your self if your real: click here to read the entire thread »

You mean I'm not a friend? ~sniff~

jbibiza........ the ambiance of the forums can change day by day; at one time, when several CS members were banned from posting at the same time, it did appear (to me at least) to be a little dull at times!

Smoky is still alive and kicking and occasionally being very witty - she took a break for a while while her super-duper new laptop had teething problems..... some members come and go, but you can't really judge the EU forums if you only come back for one day, can you?

Sometimes the IF is sparkling with wit and repartee and sometimes it seems really boring - if I 'hit' IF on a boring day I could say the same about the IF as you've said about the EU forum.......... maybe you need to make a few witty posts to get the ball rolling!

Snide comments and an elitist attitude?

Never! Impossible! We Europeans are totally incapable of such terrible behaviour!




How things change...: click here to read the entire thread »

I had a brilliant sleep, and didn't wake up until 5.45 a.m.!

I fed the cats, made my mum some tea, watered the garden (back and front) and did three financial transactions via the internet..... now I am exhausted again.

May I go back to sleep, please?




Where is everybody today?: click here to read the entire thread »

I know this answer isn't 'fair', but do you rent or own your place?

My advice is if you rent the place move!

A slightly bigger problem is if you own the place, as the noise from your neighbour puts off a potential purchaser.

Again, back to renting, if your landlord is the same as your noisy neighbour tell your landlord you'll move if can't do anything - that will cost your landlord money while he/she gets another tenant so he/she will be more likely to put pressure on the noisy dj guy.

Life is often unfair. It seems almost wrong to 'give in' to somebody's bad behaviour and cowardly to move, but the most important thing is your own peace of mind and being able to sleep at night. You can make reasonable efforts to get the guy to quieten down; if this fails the only alternativer is to move.

You could join a singles club like CS!

All you have to do is find a really nice guy you'd like to spend the rest of your life with who has enough money to support you and then he can take you away from all the noise!

Change your profile to indicate you want to meet a man with a nice house who lives in a nice quiet place, and that you'll show your appreciation by doing nice things for him like running his bath, scrubbing his back and singing romantic songs while you happily wander around the house with a feather duster in your cute little hand(s).

See? It's easy!

Nothing is really a problem - just an opportunity in disguise.......

~smiles~






Can't stand my neighbour - advice please: click here to read the entire thread »