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I draw the line at second hand socks, shoes and underpants - not wanting to get foot rot or galloping knob rot!


second hand: click here to read the entire thread »

That's 'fine' by me!¬


9 Words women use: click here to read the entire thread »

In centimetres or inches?


sailing to france : click here to read the entire thread »

I know it must be hard for you.....are all your clients vegetables? (swedes, carrots, onions etc)


Hate your job??: click here to read the entire thread »

Pearl,

I know all about you - even your cup size and that you work in the secret service.......... you cannot hide from you me!

Asama Bin Liner


Hate your job??: click here to read the entire thread »

Wedward,

You are truly a noble man, of great nobility.

You live in a land where people require nobling........it is your duty to enoble them......

good luck with your nobling!

Yours sincerely,

Tha Mayor of Gotham City


real or not: click here to read the entire thread »

'What can make love go sour?'

Brunette looked it up for me and said it was the taste of stale semen!




WHAT CAN MAKE LOVE GO SOUR?: click here to read the entire thread »

Dear Jacko,

I know what 'FINE' means...........it means 'F'd up, Insecure, Neurotic and Emotional' - a perfect description for most lovely ladies!


9 Words women use: click here to read the entire thread »

31? You mean eleven, surely......maybe 21...heck I'm 33 days older than you and my eldest son is only 22 on the 14th August! You sexy mediterranean women start reproducing so young!¬


happy birthday!!!!!!!!! : click here to read the entire thread »

I am very sad to have to inform you that, on a spit turning over a fire, the only way to ensure even cooking is to be skewered up the bum bum and out of the front orifice............sideways skewering does not give an even distribution of heat!


Eating In vs eating Out: click here to read the entire thread »

Somehow, maybe because he is a mangy old lion, you may have noticed that antcus couldn't actually find it in himself to wish the lady a happy birthday - how sad!

I guess it must be the birthday today of at least a million different people - maybe even three (or even ten million people?) -

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU ALL WHO CELEBRATE YOUR BIRTHDAY TODAY - whether you are young or old or rich or poor or healthy or dying of AIDS......... let us pray:

'Dear Lord, Our Heavenly Father, grant this special birthday for one in 365.25 of your human creation......give Your blessings this day to them (and tomorrow and each and every day of their lives until they return unto You, our only true Father and creator and the One and only who has given the awesome gift of Life)'.

AMEN


happy birthday!!!!!!!!! : click here to read the entire thread »

Pearl,

You never know when I am serious and when I jest...........but, to me, you are an open book!

Robert xx


Hate your job??: click here to read the entire thread »

I'm here......'ready and waiting' - lol


its been far too long! where are you?: click here to read the entire thread »

Brunette,

Nope - she's flying to another island (I'd better not say where), but it's very nice (been there three times myself)........

I hope your cruise is nice and that the shuddering of the engines doesn't keep you awake at night in your below-deck economy class cabin! (good advice - do NOT open the port-hole unless your cabin is above sea level!)

Joking aside, I once got a 'below sea level deck cabin' driving back from Berlin to the UK (ferry was from Hamburg)...it was so cold that the sea was frozen and the ferry was actually pushing its way through ice in the harbour (yikes!).......... down in the cabin it sounded really horrible so I decided to go up on deck and only went down at the end of the journey to pick my stuff up!

Have a wonderful time.......... come back refreshed, happy and 'pleasant' (haha!)

Robert xx


Reviving Old Threads..: click here to read the entire thread »

hifi - it's cherscic's birthday today too (and she is off on a great holiday tomorrow for a week! )


Reviving Old Threads..: click here to read the entire thread »

jACKO - ONE 'TING' AT A TIME!

First, in a couple of hundred years, Malta will eventually get rid of the noble tradition of blasting little migratory birdies out of the sky;

then (MAYBE) in a couple of hundred years down the line they'll consider making divorce legal.........

and then they'll even (maybe) have a real 'green' zone of about 5 square metres of agricultural land left left where you won't be able to build a house (even if you a nice rich developer with good business contacts in the government!)




Good Jokes: click here to read the entire thread »

Yes, my darling Brunetteski - your 'poin' sunk in.......and it tickled!

(MALTA IS NOT RULED BY THE CATHOLIC CHURCH AND ANYBODY WHO SAYS THAT WILL HAVE TO ANSWER TO MISS WHIPLASH!)


Good Jokes: click here to read the entire thread »

dragonfly - he wants a woman to fix his rigging!


sailing to france : click here to read the entire thread »

Hello sailor!


sailing to france : click here to read the entire thread »

Well, soon it shall be EU law......... only looking at 'New Threads' has been decreed to be ageist.

Old Threads need just as much love and attention as New Threads.

New Threads aren't 'cute' just because they are young and good looking - try out an 'Olde Thread' and experience the delight of a matured wine.

Ladies, please check out the profiles of some really Olde Threads like Anthony Wedward Wood (sometimes known as Squire Threadbare) or the 'lion of Malta' (his birthday today, but he has a sore throat so can't roar too much).

Gentlemen - check out the lovely Olde Thread 'smoky'........ just dim the lights, close your eyes and be entranced by her beauty...... for those men who have poor eyesight she has several tattoos made in a new braille technique, so that you can gently fondle her 'bumps'.

Ladies - don't forget the 'neither new nor olde threads' - this includes a huge range of men in various stages of gentle decay (such as my goodself 'Sir Rusty Dusty Bin', Jako 'I have only two helmets', KT 'I'm old beyond my ears' etc)......

Gentlemen - there is a vast array of middle-aged threads just yearning to get stitched up with you.......... some have kids, some never had kids and some never want to have kids - but they all yearn to pretend to try and conceive kids! - the sexy beasties!

New threads - please don't be jealous......one day you'll mature into gravity stricken olde threads too - until then please enjoy the heartaches of youth which is your right!




Reviving Old Threads..: click here to read the entire thread »