Posted: Oct 15, 2008, 4:01 AM CST
Sommerauer71 wrote:Here folks.
I have been here since February, what I have found and after a discussion with a friend, whilst I am here for the forums, but have chatted with members of the opposite sex (ooooooooo) I have found that not many people are interested in serious relationships.
Has anybody else found this, I know that people like Flower and Gongman have found each other and that is wonderful and warms me through, but the people that I have been interested in, who advertise, and it is a form of advertising, have run a mile at the mere suggestion of travel to meet.
This probably sounds a load of old rubbish and it is free here and I love it in here, but I am disheartened at some people, who I have made contact with. Few, admittedly, aside from fighting off the unwanted men that contact me.
I guess what I am trying to say, is that being here prevents us from having a relationship, because it is escapism. I also do not any longer take it too seriously. I think the time has come to drop the idea of meeting a person here and hope that one day, as I did previously meet a person in the street/supermarket/airport and go for those liaisons.
Any thought would be welcome.
I am also a member of a subscription site, I have yet to meet any person from that...
Maybe, I am becoming too desperate.
I need to get out more I think.
Just found this thread. Nice posting Sommer. I'll put in my 2c worth.
I have been here since April or May. I forgot. I came here for the same reason most do and was very very sceptical at first. I do not see this as being the do all and end all where I am going to find my one true love and live happily ever after. But it is another possible source, not escapism. It is all about the statistics of fishing: The more nets cast in more oceans the more likely I'll catch my fish (ladies I am not saying you stink).
What I find hard to take (and not just online) is not being single and at times alone, it is that most people I meet are hiding something. Fake people wearing masks. There is a line around the age 32 to 35 wher some feel they are a failure for one reason or other because they are not in a relationship and they try to sell the story they are happy, that they are strong enough to withstand all life throws at them alone when in reality they are not.and the worst part of it all is that they believe it. Then there are those who are afraid that showing their real self would detract something so they are all jolly and "I'm doing fine' but at the end of the evening when they are walking to their cars you see a hidden sadness creep on their face as the thought surfaces - "another night over with no one to kiss goodbye, hug away and miss until next time". I am not saying that people should go out sulking and wearing a t-shirt saying "I'm desperately in need of someone" but what's wrong with saying "I'm ok but I'll be better off with someone". At least admit it to yourself.
Getting back to being alone, as someone said in another post on this thread, I find that the time I spend alone helps me get to know myself better which in the end that makes me a better person. I do not like lonliness but for various reasons at this stage in my life I am still single so what do I do? Join the 'mask' crowd above? Hit the bottle to forget? Write myself off as a failure? Nope. Being alone affords me time that I would otherwise have to share with someone and maybe one day in the future I will share it. But until then the 'free' time is all mine to use as I please.
So sommer, I hope all these opinions and musings (mine and the other's) help you stay here a while longer.
SERIOUS QUESTION: click here to read the entire thread »