girlnextdormouse wrote:Here we go again with this dichotomy.
Men will have the answer to this question when women quit answering in black and white.
To rewrite my words on this topic:
"I believe that there is a happy medium between Mr. Nicety-Nice-Dweeb, and Mr. Bad-Boy-Rebel. I personally, (and I think a lot of other women), are looking for that happy medium.
I want that guy in the middle. I want that Mr. Nice Guy that knows how to act like a gentleman and use his manners, but I want that Mr. Rebel who knows how to act like a man and has a sense of adventure and leadership. I don’t think that women should have to settle for either the bar-scene loser jerk OR the insecure boyish wimp. In my opinion, one is as bad as the other. The first reeks of abuse, the second reeks of neglect. The first reeks of too much drama. The second reeks of too much boredom.
I think a lot of the reason women are starting to turn a blind eye to Mr. Nice Guy, is because guys who *think* they fit the profile of Mr. Nice Guy, have let the pendulum swing too far in the opposite direction. They come across as sniveling wimps. They may possibly be dishonest because they wouldn’t dare tell the truth if it might hurt her feelings. They come across as insecure in their own personality and like jell-o, will mold into whatever she wants him to be. They come across as unable to stimulate a woman intellectually because they constantly agree. They come across as indecisive because when she asks for suggestions for entertainment, they reply “I dunno, what’d you wanna do?” They come across as unable to stand up for a woman if she were being harassed, or unable to protect a woman if she were in danger. Having a relationship with this type of guy is sort of like not having a relationship at all. It’s more like hanging out with one of the girls.
I think the key, like everything else in life , is learning proper balance. There are guys out there who have learned the proper balance between boyish proclivities and egotistic rebellion. They are mature, responsible, confident men. They don’t walk all over their women, nor do they let their women walk all over them. They are brave and courageous, but not foolhardy and reckless. They are assertive. Not aggressive, but not passive. They are not wild animals that need to be caged, but nor are they lost puppies hopelessly whimpering for a woman to hold their leash.
A truly balanced man is a very attractive specimen indeed!
Maybe we should rewrite the description of Mr. Nice Guy so he’s a more balanced man."