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expel

Well,that was SHORT!!!!!!!!!

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I've been to western Oklahoma. It might be a true story.

An disgruntled IRS agent is discussing a protitutes tax filing and says:

"It says on your occupation that you are chicken farmer, please explain"!

The prostitute says, "Well I raised over 5000 coks last year"!

Last night,along with my 3 friends I went to a Ladies Night Club.

One of the girls wanted to impress the rest of us, so she pulled out a $10 bill.

When the male dancer came over to us,my friend licked the $10 bill and stuck it to his butt cheek!

Not to be outdone, another friend pulls out a $20 bill.She called the guy back, licks the $20 bill, and sticks it to his other butt cheek.

In another attempt to impress the rest of us,my third friend pulls out a $50 bill and calls the guy over,and licks the $50 bill.

I'm worried about the way things are going,but fortunately, she just stuck it to one of his butt cheeks again. Seeing the way things are going, the guy races over to me!

Now everyone's attentionis focused on me, and the guy is egging me on to try to top the $50.

My brain was churning as I reached for my wallet.

What could I do?

The woman in me took over!

I got out my ATM card, swiped it down the crack of his butt,grabbed the eighty bucks,and left!!!

A Newfie went hunting one day in Ontario and bagged three ducks. He put them in the bed of his pickup truck and was about to drive home when he was confronted by an ornery game warden, who didn't like Newfies.

The game warden ordered the Newfie to show his hunting license, and the Newfie pulled out a valid Ontario hunting license.

The game warden looked at the license, then reached over and picked up one of the ducks, sniffed its butt, and said, 'This duck ain't from Ontario . This is a Quebec duck. You got a Quebec huntin' license, boy?'

The Newfie reached into his wallet and produced a Quebec hunting license. The game warden looked at it, then reached over and grabbed the second duck, sniffed its butt, and said , 'This ain't no Quebec duck. This duck's from Manitoba . You got a Manitoba license?'

The Newfie reached into his wallet and produced a Manitoba hunting license.

The warden then reached over and picked up the third duck, sniffed its butt and said, 'This ain't no Ontario duck. This here duck's from Nova Scotia . You got a Nova Scotia huntin' license?'

Again the Newfie reached into his wallet and brought out a Nova Scotia hunting license. The game warden was extremely frustrated at this point, and he yelled at the Newfie 'Just where the hell are you from?'

The Newfie turned around, bent over, dropped his pants, and said, 'You tell me.....you're the expert.!!'

A guy from Newfoundland is sitting at the bar in New York City and looks at his watch several times in the space of a few minutes. The woman sitting nearby notices this and asks, "Is your date running late?"
"No," he replies, "I have this state-of-the-art watch. I was just testing it."

The intrigued woman says, "A state-of-the-art watch? What's so special about it?"

The Newfoundlander explains, "It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically."

The lady says, "What's it telling you now?"

"Well, it says you're not wearing any panties."

The woman giggles and replies, "Well it must be broken because I am wearing panties!''

The Newfoundlander smirks, taps his watch and says, "Bloody thing's running about an hour fast, can I buy you a drink?"