Posted: Aug 8, 2008, 12:51 PM CST
pianolover wrote:I would like to start a long distance dating, I want to know someone who is living on the other side of the world online, and then get to know him better. Would you please tell me the ways of getting to know him better but emails and phone calls?
Having gone through this a few times and once succeeded,(marriage and children etc.) really think about reality versus practicality;
The following mathematical equation should drive home the importance of communication in a LDR...(long distance relationship)
Zero physical contact + usually substandard verbal and written communiques = an unsatisfying, short lived relationship.
The equation's as easy as 0 + 0 = 0. The first zero is the void that's left when you can't pop in to your partner's home after a terrible day at work for a relaxing drink or a reassuring hug. It's the delirium tremens(DT's) that set in in a few days after your last visit and your last spoon. By whatever means possible, you must find some way to recreate the satisfaction of all the perks that close-contact couples take for granted, and using good communication skills are the first, major step to making that second zero increase in value.
If your LDR will only say 'I love you' while gazing deeply into your eys, he'd/ she'd better learn to get over his/ her overwrought idea of romance. Fast. Because the LDR's most preferred method of delivering said intimacy is via phone---you can hear your partner's voice and his/her deep breathing, and you can listen to him burping out your name
after he downs a soda/ beer too fast.
Next in line as supplements to the phone are snail mail(including care packages, love letters, and cards), e-mails, and all the other more high-tech communication gadgets: fax machines, videophones and of course the now ubiquitous webcam...downed the beer too fast? Now watch him wipe his chin...%D This is based on the premise that you have at least met once...perhaps.
The only way to maintain any normalcy is to have short conversations but talk constantly so you feel like there's continuity...
Have frequent visits...from once a month to perhaps every few months if overseas. Here Distance and Costs rule. When you do meet up, make it for at least 3 to several days...meet at mid-way points at a local Love Motel that doesn't admit married couples...%D
Nightly phone calls and unexpected letters and gifts also! Good Luck!
Any tips on long distance dating?: click here to read the entire thread »