Posted: Oct 26, 2008, 10:18 PM CST
chadmcgaughey wrote:6 years wasted another 8 months alone. Am i just that unattractive?
Visuals will only get you so far, whereas attitude & confidence will sell you, no matter what.
For every negative description you write, it's a harder hurdle to cross.
When you learn to be happy with yourself, regardless of the obvious missing partner...
you will be a catch.
Having a solid self confidence will project from within your words & actions. Try starting out by using more positive wording in your profile. In general, it's fine... but there are some BIG hints of a jaded attitude woven in your words. That sweet compassionate woman you seek, can sense bitterness a mile away & she will bolt from any sign of it in a profile.
Don't take this as a big slam... listen to what I am pointing out & you will understand why your profile(and maybe even your life) is receiving such a cold welcome. None of this is personal... I am simply responding to your way of asking for help.
Try taking a fresh look at some of the problem areas in your profile.
Let me explain a few things:
"Looks don't matter"... this is a kiss of death on a profile. So is "good guy". Show a little individual thought and a sense of humor. Try rewording it with a twist: "stunning beauties excepted, but not required" or "creative chocolate loving night owl seeks enjoyable company". Have a little fun with this. It could be worse, you could have to get a tooth ripped out for each girl who passes your profile.
...Ok, back on Earth...
"incapable of lying"... this is just plain insulting, sorry. Humans are all capable of lying. That's life. To put such a bright light on it, only serves to show the next girl that she will be walking in the shadow of an unresolved bit of baggage.
"Someone who wont waste my time figuring out what they want"... another poorly worded reflection of your last relationship gone sour. See last comment ^^.
When you specifically word a thought, you show where your head is. In both of these comments, you've used pain associated words... negative words. Try turning them around into positive words like "goal oriented ladies highly appreciated" or "eagerly anticipating having a faithful loving partner". This shows the viewer that you are looking forward to... instead what your words show> that you're still looking back on... get it?
Either you've moved on, or none of this will matter. Write anything and the result will still be the same.
"money does not buy happiness"... works better if you live in a perfect world. Right now, that part should be downplayed. If you can not be a financial giant, don't stand on a ladder & preach about how it doesn't buy happiness. Someone is going to point out that you have to have been on both sides of that fence to know that. It's best to leave that part alone.
"Would not hurt to meet someone who knows what its like to have heart ripped in two."... Holy crap... this was the biggest downer in the whole profile. Sure, you might get some sulky little emo girl to fall into your arms about 15 mins before she slits her wrists... but come on... lets wake up.
In one short sentence, you managed to make every positive thing in your profile mean very little.
Get rid of that ending!
Sit down & think up 5 things you would love to do with a new girl. Now, write them out in a nice, well mannered happy way.
Something like:
"I would love to look forward to that water balloon fight with you" or "I've got an extra set of controls if you have the guts to challenge me at Pacman"
(ok, quit laughing, it was only an example)
Don't feel bad about this. Writing a good profile take a few tries, and lots of fumbles.
I just slipped you a few cheat codes.
Am i decent looking enough to get out this rut.: click here to read the entire thread »