Im an Atheist and its things like the following that keep me on this path........
The Mother of All Contests........
Right here on the Internet, we will attempt to bring a final resolution to all religious wars, controversy and hypocrisy.
The Rules
The rules are simple. Any religious organization in the world is invited to enter their god. The various gods will be given three challenges to fulfill. These challenges have been chosen because they represent typical accomplishments of most of the present day gods, as well as historical ones. In light of the various literary records, these challenges should be very easy for any god to accomplish.
The winner will be the god who completes all three challenges in the least amount of time.
Onlookers may cheer for their god by offering prayers, songs, epithets or verbal abuse.
If your god fails to show, then followers are free to cheer for a more conscientious alternative.
Notice: Representatives of local S.P.C.A.'s, Humane Societies, and P.E.T.A. will be on hand to ensure that no animals are killed or mutilated, even if it is for some primitive sacrifice or common food ritual. God's creatures are in no way to be adversely affected by this religious challenge.
Gods Not Entered
Gods who are unwilling, or unable, to enter this contest will forfeit the right of their representatives to collect money, tithes, land, or any other worldly possessions in their god's name.
The Prizes
The winning god will receive all money, possessions and property held by churches, organizations and representatives of the losing gods. These possessions will be distributed according to the whim of the winner. In addition, in recognition of His/Her/Its superiority, the winning god will be the sole recipient of prayers, entreaties, solicitations, petitions, requests and other forms of begging from all the people in the world.
At the conclusion of this contest, the winner will attend a summit meeting with the world's leaders to implement divine solutions to overpopulation, pollution, corruption, greed, disease, and other ills which plague His/Her/Its creations.
In the eventuality that there is no winner, then all money, property and possessions of all the religions in the world will be turned over to a Committee of Common Sense for distribution to the betterment of conditions of all living creatures. The committee will be made up of representatives chosen especially for their honesty and integrity. All decisions of this committee will be final and binding.
Challenge 1. Impregnate a Virgin
Gods of any sex are invited. They need not demonstrate any specific skill at love-making, or any parental responsibility. The virgin will be chosen by the Committee of Judges and carefully examined to ensure her virginity is intact. The lady will be kept in total isolation for a period of three months prior to allowing the challenging god to accomplish this task. She will again be examined to make sure that she is definitely barren before the god will be allowed to proceed. The virgin will be kept in isolation for a period of nine months. This should give any god ample time to make a holy child. The child may be of any sexual orientation but should be observably human.
All food and sundries delivered to the maiden must be examined by the Committee of Judges to ensure no turkey basters or other possible insemination paraphernalia get smuggled in. The various gods must impregnate their virgins without any outside assistance whatsoever.
contd;
I don't believe in "atheists," can anybody prove "atheists" exist?: click here to read the entire thread »