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4. something is wrong with you (a statement at that! )

I get this when I say am single lol

I seek out women with no kids. Then I do what is need to have children...but I don't tell them I had a vasectomy!!




I'm crazy that way!!

LOL

I will lend you one of mine at a going rate
Especially as he has just had a report card....

Seriously though it is not about having kids...it is about you the person and whether they want you....

Kids come later/may be or for some off us as part of a package...

I would have thought it easier to attract guys when they know you have no dependants and ties....

trust me Tamarin, that is not the case

funny how all my divorced/single parent moms have significant others but my single pals and I remain just that...S-I-N-G-L-E

weird I know ...hey, I am not bashing my pals NOR any other single/divorced person out there...

but truthfully, it doesn't make sense....

someone once told me that they only date women with children...so that they would have an idea as to why "type" of mom they would be if their relationship got stronger...

that is all I can tell you

thanks for your input

Curvy

Finally....somebody who has seen the light......

I decided at a very early age not to have kids.....and have never regretted the decision.....

...was married for a 7 year stint....and when that was over decided that it was much more to my liking to remain single....to this day....

....and although bottom line is it don't matter what others think....I still get the strange horrid shock ergo 'what is wrong with you' when i say so publicly...

Maybe it is time to organize an action front to be called:

Anti Discrimination of Single/Non parental Group

Do you think that they may think that a divorced woman does not want marriage...she has been there done that?

no tamarin, we can't say that...

cause I know of MANY divorcees, in person and on here, albiet, and it doesn't necesarily mean that marriage is out of the question....



Curvy

hey there....

That sounds like a great idea...but let's see where this goes first.....

thanks for sharing!!

curvy

Hiya Curvy! Strange. Makes absolutely no sense as far as I can see. More and more I see the younger generation opting to not have children, pretty much as they opt not to get married officially. Doesn't mean their relationship is any different then the couple that has a family.

Curvy I never had any of this said to me.
In between husbands I was alone for 20 years. '65-84
Thus between 28 and 48 years old then.
At dances one of the first questions was always; do you have kids?
When I said no. it was considered always a big plus!

Hey Holland!

I don't know what to tell ya but what I CAN tell ya is this...

society has SURELY changed since the 80's....

when I was around the age of 30, it was a HUGE plus that I was single and no children...

now???? now it seems like I am some evil un-emotional woman!

oh well, c'est la vie I guess

thanks for your input hollandgirl...

hope all's well

Curvy

hey curvy chick.
it is def up to the individual you are dealing with.different strokes for different folks.

i think when you have children you change as a person and are different to children-less people.
you have different priorities.being single and having no children allows you to do what YOU want,when YOU want, not what you and a partner want to do together (cos lets be real...they most likely will have children ... if they are raising the questions youve mentioned in the opener).and i think that can be intimidating for a potential partner.
jealousy has a lot to do with it too.married people with children envy the freedom single children-less people have.but ive found that sngle children-less people also envy the comfort that married people with children have.

people will always have things to say about you when you dont fit into what is seen as the norm.the best thing for you to do is to just answer the questions honestly.then ask them awkward questions.
for example....
"youre 40,married and have eight children?!have you no tv in your house?"
"do you not like to have any me time or space?damn you must be broke.hate that!"
"i bet you pee when you laugh/cough/sneeze."(when talking to women).
"whats with that..... do you pull out your hair every time you are turned down for sex??"(whilst pointing at the mans bald spot)

the thing is most people think these questions are way out of order to ask someone and no one ever would (except me cos im gobby) because being married/unmarried with children is the norm.

but take children out of the equation, when you get to a certain age, and its open question time.

especially at family occassions

jealousy has a lot to do with it too.married people with children envy the freedom single children-less people have.but ive found that sngle children-less people also envy the comfort that married people with children have.

you couldn't be further from the truth....I would LOVE the idea of children and being married....and yes, they probably are envious of me being single...but then again, I am usually at places where everyone IS either married and withh/without children....

people will always have things to say about you when you dont fit into what is seen as the norm.the best thing for you to do is to just answer the questions honestly.then ask them awkward questions.
for example....
"youre 40,married and have eight children?!have you no tv in your house?"
"do you not like to have any me time or space?damn you must be broke.hate that!"
"i bet you pee when you laugh/cough/sneeze."(when talking to women).
"whats with that..... do you pull out your hair every time you are turned down for sex??"(whilst pointing at the mans bald spot)

I will keep those thoughts near...that was hilarious...

and about FAMILY REUNIONS or GATHERINGS, yeah, I get it all the time..."hey, are you dating? aren't you ever gonna be /get married"

finally I got tired of the same rigamortis and said "why? so I can be miserable like you"

the questions stopped .well, at least for the last 3 years they have

thanks for your imput....it was appreciated

cheers,

Curvy

I hear ya...people are people regardless and men and women will always run for their own reasons...It boils down to not wanting a commitment or that person just not being for them....not to whether you have kids or not....It every man or woman's choice...and not all of them want kids or can have them either...If people would stop looking at groups and start looking at individuals we all might have an easier time of it....