wonders never cease - a victimless joke!

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THREAD AUTHOR
trish123 Lancashire, Lancashire, England UK
Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company's Christmas Party. Jack is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn't taste like alcohol at all. He didn't even remember how he got home from the party.

As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong. Jack had to force himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple o f aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose!

Jack sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house.

He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror. Then he notices a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in red with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in lipstick: "Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to get groceries to make you your favorite dinner tonight. I love you, darling! Love, Jillian"

He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast, steaming hot coffee and the morning newspaper.

His son is also at the table, eating. Jack asks, "Son...what happened last night?"

"Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and out of your mind. You fell over the coffee table and broke it, and then you puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door."

Confused, he asked his son, "So, why is everything in such perfect order and so clean? I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me??"

His son replies, "Oh THAT!... Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, "Leave me alone, I'm married!!"

Broken Coffee Table $399.99
Hot Breakfast $4.20
Two Aspirins $.38
Saying the right thing, at the right time...
PRICELESS!!!


smitten grin laugh



livinglarge in a good place , Kildare Ireland
rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing

A good man thumbs up
zee1ander Somewhere, Kentucky USA
isn't advertising for a company against the rules?

zee
trish123 Lancashire, Lancashire, England UK
zee1ander: isn't advertising for a company against the rules?

zee


I guess its too late now to ask what you meant..................
Fallingman Dublin, Dublin Ireland
trish123: I guess its too late now to ask what you meant..................


why?
trish123 Lancashire, Lancashire, England UK
Fallingman: why?


have a look at the thread "about to be banned"........

wave
Fallingman Dublin, Dublin Ireland
trish123: have a look at the thread "about to be banned"........


I did. Doesn't make sense to me wave
trish123 Lancashire, Lancashire, England UK
zee1ander: isn't advertising for a company against the rules?

zee


ahhh, I see you have familiarised yourself with the new profile delete system Zee laugh
trish123 Lancashire, Lancashire, England UK
Fallingman: I did. Doesn't make sense to me


Theres not much making sense to me round here at the moment FM laugh
SirenLydia Bury St Edmunds, Suffolk, England UK
trish123: Theres not much making sense to me round here at the moment FM


There rarely is these days.....bouquet

Great joke Trish, thanks for sharing....wave devil
trish123 Lancashire, Lancashire, England UK
SirenLydia: There rarely is these days.....

Great joke Trish, thanks for sharing....


Hello stranger - great to see you wave bouquet
SirenLydia Bury St Edmunds, Suffolk, England UK
trish123: Hello stranger - great to see you


Thanks hun.....hug
I don't find much to keep me here these days, the invisibility
cloak is working too well....laugh

How's your garden growing?

bouquet devil
trish123 Lancashire, Lancashire, England UK
SirenLydia: Thanks hun.....
I don't find much to keep me here these days, the invisibility
cloak is working too well....

How's your garden growing?


Oh my garden smitten haha - this is the first spring for 5 yrs that I havent been at uni and bogged down with essays at just the wrong time so theres lots and lots of work to do if only the rain would let up - Im sure Rossendale has its own weather rain system laugh

Yep, the old invisibility cloak is being given a lot of use at the moment by many I suspect grin bouquet wave
SirenLydia Bury St Edmunds, Suffolk, England UK
trish123: Oh my garden haha - this is the first spring for 5 yrs that I havent been at uni and bogged down with essays at just the wrong time so theres lots and lots of work to do if only the rain would let up - Im sure Rossendale has its own weather rain system

Yep, the old invisibility cloak is being given a lot of use at the moment by many I suspect


Funny, we are not getting the rain we need!
Tuesday onwards we should get loads thank goodness.
I have been planting and keep having to water from the
tap as the barrel is empty.
Have lost a couple of shrubs I planted last year because
it's too dry!

hug devil
trish123 Lancashire, Lancashire, England UK
SirenLydia: Funny, we are not getting the rain we need!
Tuesday onwards we should get loads thank goodness.
I have been planting and keep having to water from the
tap as the barrel is empty.
Have lost a couple of shrubs I planted last year because
it's too dry!


I have hardly had to use the hosepipe for the last few summers, what a difference in just a couple of hundred miles - I got an old dolly tub to use for a water butt and I have had to upend it as it was just a breeding ground for mossies - the lawn is like a muddy field, I mowed it for the first time last week and it felt like I was walking on foam cushions laugh The birds must love something about it though, Im sat with the windows open and their singing is a simple delight smitten

hug teddybear
Conrad73 Lonesome Town Zurich, Zrich Switzerland
sigh Seems I never said the Right Thing!crying













































rolling on the floor laughing
trish123 Lancashire, Lancashire, England UK
Conrad73: Seems I never said the Right Thing!



comfort grin wave



Shedman01 Gonzales, Texas USA
rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing cheering

rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing wave
Conrad73 Lonesome Town Zurich, Zrich Switzerland
rolling on the floor laughing wave
Fallingman Dublin, Dublin Ireland
Conrad73: Seems I never said the Right Thing!
And Ayn Rand probably thinks every joke SHOULD have a victim! rolling on the floor laughing




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