Connecting Singles^® Forums 100% Free Online Dating

Have I not explained the question clear enough or is this just a boring subject?

Why shouldn't BOTH parents be involved in the child(ren) upbringing? Just because the parents do not live together doesn't excuse the father, or mother, in their responsibilities of parental duties.

Possibly, "they" have a better outlook and more positive attitude than you?

I know what you mean... I used to think that about my ex.

That was until my sister told me that she envied my life... that I'm a mom where she couldn't be.

Talk about a reality check.

In the ideal situation, that happens. In my situation, he only bothered when he had a girlfriend he was trying to impress.

Now, he's trying to make up for lost time. Our daughter had gotten to the point where she didn't even call him "Dad" anymore, she called him by his first name.

We've been apart for 17 years & he's finally stepping up to the plate.

Yes, BOTH parents SHOULD be involved, barring any abusive situations. But that's not always the case.

I have never felt that life for my ex was better than for me.

In fact the opposite, I had the children everyday, for all the us and downs.
He chose not to have anything to do with them after he left. I think his life is less fulfilled than mine.

Why is it adults always feel sorry for themselves when relationships break down.Doesn't ANYONE these days think about the children. You both created them so it should be a shared responsibility.Unfortunately it very rarely is.

Why should we be made to feel guilty & selfish if we think of ourselves ALONG WITH our children? Are we not to have feelings, as well?

I used to wonder about those that are/were "in the same boat as me" and how they always seem to enjoy life to the fullest without a care in the world. Then I came to this conclusion: just because life gives you a lemon doesn't mean you can't add to it! Add some water and sugar to have some lemonade! Heck, you might as well enjoy it the best you can cause you only live once. *just my two cents*

BTW, my daughter & I are very close now. I'm glad I struggled & sacrificed for her. I get the pride in knowing I did all I could to bring her up properly.

Exactly!

Hi Vixen.
I am not talking about one parent exclusively caring for the child/children here.I am talking about how the dynamics of one being the primary carer for them while the other looks on longingly missing being an equal/or even partial carer to there offspring due to the rules set out privately or by the courts.

I am involved with my two girls and i make myself available to them any time on the phone as well as when im needed to care for them.
But this is not just about me.
A man may well envy his ex having the children and her being involved with all aspects of there life from getting up to homework to sitting at home having fun in every day activities etc...
He has limited time maybe simply because he is not the main carer.
But she may feel "Its ok for you you lucky b@stard,you are free to date,go out and enjoy any time you please. As for me? I feel so restricted!!"
But what makes you think that he is so much happier?

I ditto that with my two sons as well.....

This wasn't a critisism aimed at coping parents.I coped single handed for years both financially and mentally.I just felt the post was a bit one sided with no thought for the their offspring!

You presume way too much!

I can relate to what you've said in this post. And feeling "restricted" is NOT a fun place to be at. But as I said in my previous post, make the best of your situation.

Should have explained the thread with more content.Makes a bit more sense now.

I am sure you did.
Many primary carers feel they get the brunt of there childrens rath simply because there there and the other one is excluded to some degree.

Yes, makes much more sense now.