Could be a bad idea

THREAD AUTHOR

AnnBrown oveido, Florida USA

Mon Jun 29, 2009 1:45 PM CST : Could be a bad idea...?

I've never posted a thread before, just responded to other posts, so I'm a little nervous...but here goes:
Recently I dated a guy that I liked a lot right off the bat. We had a lot in common, definately some chemistry, and he seemed really interested.
He texted constantly and I loved it. Great things, like 'can't wait to see you', and similar things. We only saw each other twice because he lives an hour away. That doesn't bother me, though, but it seemed to eat away at him.
The night before our third date, he says he doesn't think it will work out, etc.. The distance thing and all that.
Then he changed his mind. We tried for another date. Bingo, same story.
I told him, because I did like him, that I would be happy to be friends. And then we tried that.
So, as we were being 'friends' one day, he got all huffy and basically told me he didn't want to talk again.
That was a week ago. He's looked at my profile everyday since. Then, today, he contacts me. Made a mistake, etc.
Want to go have lunch?
I said I would. Am I being a doormat? Or could he really just like me and be afraid of it?

whaaat den, Zuid-Holland Netherlands

Mon Jun 29, 2009 1:48 PM CST : Could be a bad idea...?

AnnBrown: I've never posted a thread before, just responded to other posts, so I'm a little nervous...but here goes:
Recently I dated a guy that I liked a lot right off the bat. We had a lot in common, definately some chemistry, and he seemed really interested.
He texted constantly and I loved it. Great things, like 'can't wait to see you', and similar things. We only saw each other twice because he lives an hour away. That doesn't bother me, though, but it seemed to eat away at him.
The night before our third date, he says he doesn't think it will work out, etc.. The distance thing and all that.
Then he changed his mind. We tried for another date. Bingo, same story.
I told him, because I did like him, that I would be happy to be friends. And then we tried that.
So, as we were being 'friends' one day, he got all huffy and basically told me he didn't want to talk again.
That was a week ago. He's looked at my profile everyday since. Then, today, he contacts me. Made a mistake, etc.
Want to go have lunch?
I said I would. Am I being a doormat? Or could he really just like me and be afraid of it?

Just ask him.
Wouldn't give him the satisfication of thinking, i will be there whenever he is in good mood.

Polarbutterfly Somewhere, Northwest Territories Canada

Mon Jun 29, 2009 1:50 PM CST : Could be a bad idea...?

In response to: I've never posted a thread before, just responded to other posts, so I'm a little nervous...but here goes:
Recently I dated a guy that I liked a lot right off the bat. We had a lot in common, definately some chemistry, and he seemed really interested.
He texted constantly and I loved it. Great things, like 'can't wait to see you', and similar things. We only saw each other twice because he lives an hour away. That doesn't bother me, though, but it seemed to eat away at him.
The night before our third date, he says he doesn't think it will work out, etc.. The distance thing and all that.
Then he changed his mind. We tried for another date. Bingo, same story.
I told him, because I did like him, that I would be happy to be friends. And then we tried that.
So, as we were being 'friends' one day, he got all huffy and basically told me he didn't want to talk again.
That was a week ago. He's looked at my profile everyday since. Then, today, he contacts me. Made a mistake, etc.
Want to go have lunch?
I said I would. Am I being a doormat? Or could he really just like me and be afraid of it?

He wants you bad but,doesn't really
know that he does.You're a nice
looking woman who deserves all
the attention that a guy can offer.
Stand up for what you believe a
relationship should be and be happy.

AnnBrown oveido, Florida USA

Mon Jun 29, 2009 2:00 PM CST : Could be a bad idea...?

I can't thank you enough. I feel quite strongly about him already, but I need to keep my self-respect. I figured lunch was a safe enough bet to see if there is the potential I think there might be, or at least to see if there is still a spark after this turmoil, but I needed another opinion that I wasn't coming off despirate to accept the offer. In the end, it takes two to tango, right?

Polarbutterfly Somewhere, Northwest Territories Canada

Mon Jun 29, 2009 2:05 PM CST : Could be a bad idea...?

AnnBrown: I can't thank you enough. I feel quite strongly about him already, but I need to keep my self-respect. I figured lunch was a safe enough bet to see if there is the potential I think there might be, or at least to see if there is still a spark after this turmoil, but I needed another opinion that I wasn't coming off despirate to accept the offer. In the end, it takes two to tango, right?

I've been in the same relationship
as you're describing.Althought the
love was there,my love wasn't enough.
If it was meant to be for you both,
don't think about the doubts,if any;
go with what you're feeling,the both of you.

JMHO

drfeelgood4u2 st julians, Majjistral Malta

Mon Jun 29, 2009 2:06 PM CST : Could be a bad idea...?

forget him honey a leopard never changes its spots and if he gets huffy already just think of the nightmare later on remember these words

ooby_dooby Ashland, Virginia USA

Mon Jun 29, 2009 2:27 PM CST : Could be a bad idea...?

drfeelgood4u2: forget him honey a leopard never changes its spots and if he gets huffy already just think of the nightmare later on remember these words

What he said.

BTW, How do you know how many times he's viewed your profile?

poppycat1 Lagos, Faro Portugal

Mon Jun 29, 2009 2:39 PM CST : Could be a bad idea...?

ooby_dooby: What he said.

BTW, How do you know how many times he's viewed your profile?

Look at whose viewed me, it shows the time the person viewed you eg 20 mins ago, 2 hours ago, each time the same person views you it overrides the last time....hope you got that! I dont think I have explained that too well

gooddogman Leesburg, Florida USA

Mon Jun 29, 2009 2:46 PM CST : Could be a bad idea...?

AnnBrown: I've never posted a thread before, just responded to other posts, so I'm a little nervous...but here goes:
Recently I dated a guy that I liked a lot right off the bat. We had a lot in common, definately some chemistry, and he seemed really interested.
He texted constantly and I loved it. Great things, like 'can't wait to see you', and similar things. We only saw each other twice because he lives an hour away. That doesn't bother me, though, but it seemed to eat away at him.
The night before our third date, he says he doesn't think it will work out, etc.. The distance thing and all that.
Then he changed his mind. We tried for another date. Bingo, same story.
I told him, because I did like him, that I would be happy to be friends. And then we tried that.
So, as we were being 'friends' one day, he got all huffy and basically told me he didn't want to talk again.
That was a week ago. He's looked at my profile everyday since. Then, today, he contacts me. Made a mistake, etc.
Want to go have lunch?
I said I would. Am I being a doormat? Or could he really just like me and be afraid of it?

Does he like horses? Only 1 hr, I would drive alnight to be with someone I liked..If he said that he doesn't think it will work, RED FLAG..Huffy, sounds like a Mommas boy or a BurgerKing I want it my way..Take him horse back riding if he doesn't have a good time or the horses don't like him find a new cowboy..

ooby_dooby Ashland, Virginia USA

Mon Jun 29, 2009 2:47 PM CST : Could be a bad idea...?

poppycat1: Look at whose viewed me, it shows the time the person viewed you eg 20 mins ago, 2 hours ago, each time the same person views you it overrides the last time....hope you got that! I dont think I have explained that too well

Thanks, I kinda knew that much but I thought there was a hit counter somewhere that I wasn't aware of. You know like they have on eBay?

SensualVixen Tampa Bay area, Florida USA

Mon Jun 29, 2009 3:06 PM CST : Could be a bad idea...?

drfeelgood4u2: forget him honey a leopard never changes its spots and if he gets huffy already just think of the nightmare later on remember these words

From what you described, it seems you are in for much doormatism if you continue to see this gent......

Assets52 Littleton, New Hampshire USA

Mon Jun 29, 2009 3:13 PM CST : Could be a bad idea...?

drfeelgood4u2: forget him honey a leopard never changes its spots and if he gets huffy already just think of the nightmare later on remember these words

I agree.

His behavior sounds a little scary to me.

Good Luck

yum_yum birmingham, West Midlands, England UK

Mon Jun 29, 2009 4:21 PM CST : Could be a bad idea...?

an hour away is not that far and if he is in a huff when you still make the effort in being just friends he is not worth it.

already a sign of controling.

you are a gorgrous looking woman and the way you have wrote here you sound a very good woman at heart.

you are worth better

Big_John Ocean Springs, Mississippi USA

Mon Jun 29, 2009 4:27 PM CST : Could be a bad idea...?

My suggestion would be to drop him and move on! In my humble opinion and from my experience guys don't do what he has done to a lady they really like. Something else is going on and I don't think it is worth figuring it out.

druidess6308 Reverse, Pennsylvania USA

Mon Jun 29, 2009 4:27 PM CST : Could be a bad idea...?

AnnBrown: I can't thank you enough. I feel quite strongly about him already, but I need to keep my self-respect. I figured lunch was a safe enough bet to see if there is the potential I think there might be, or at least to see if there is still a spark after this turmoil, but I needed another opinion that I wasn't coming off despirate to accept the offer. In the end, it takes two to tango, right?

I don't think it's being either desperate nor a door mat to agree to lunch with him if your feelings are strong. I think you need to see him one more time to try to talk and find out what's going on. I would say that if his behavior persists, then it's time to move on.

And trust me...if it persists, move on. Don't spend 5 years in turmoil. Mine might be about to pay off...or it might not. And if not, I have a tough situation to face about a man I will love strongly even after he's gone.

Good luck.

druidess6308 Reverse, Pennsylvania USA

Mon Jun 29, 2009 4:29 PM CST : Could be a bad idea...?

Big_John: My suggestion would be to drop him and move on! In my humble opinion and from my experience guys don't do what he has done to a lady they really like. Something else is going on and I don't think it is worth figuring it out.

Sometimes it's just cold feet, John. Other times, it's a deep-seated fear that will cause him to behave like this forever and never commit. But only time will tell on that one. Cold feet can be forgiven, and given a second chance.

It's those of us who give the ones with deep-seated fears years of our lives that are the fools.

Big_John Ocean Springs, Mississippi USA

Mon Jun 29, 2009 4:31 PM CST : Could be a bad idea...?

druidess6308: Sometimes it's just cold feet, John. Other times, it's a deep-seated fear that will cause him to behave like this forever and never commit. But only time will tell on that one. Cold feet can be forgiven, and given a second chance.

It's those of us who give the ones with deep-seated fears years of our lives that are the fools.

This shouldn't happen with men the age that we are talking about.

AnnBrown oveido, Florida USA

Mon Jun 29, 2009 4:33 PM CST : Could be a bad idea...?

Thanks everyone for your input. I have a lot to think about. If I do decide to see him again, I'll try to keep a VERY open mind. So far, not a real good track record.
It helps to know others have been through this craziness and come out the other side with advice to give.
Thank you!

pubwrite08 District Heights, Maryland USA

Mon Jun 29, 2009 4:34 PM CST : Could be a bad idea...?

Girl he tryng to make you an option, leave him alone. He don't know what he want. So let him find out without you. JMHO. You way to beautiful to be yo-yoing back and forth like that.

druidess6308 Reverse, Pennsylvania USA

Mon Jun 29, 2009 5:06 PM CST : Could be a bad idea...?

Big_John: This shouldn't happen with men the age that we are talking about.

Heck, the one I'm talking about just turned 56 yesterday. Who says it has an age limit?

I just hope she has better judgment than I did...or less love for him. Sadly, hearts don't have logic.

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