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I've been a little concerned lately, in regards to my eldest son.

I'm noticing that he prefers to go with me, when I'm "out and about", rather than going out and doing something with his freinds. It's not always the case, as he does do some things with his buddies...he goes quadding, bike-riding...and he
's going to his freinds mom's (in another town...with his freind for a week (he does this fairly often)...but, I think he would sometimes rather be with me, the majority of the time. Aren't teenagers supposed to be embarrassed to been seen with their parents???

My youngest son (he's 11 months younger than his brother) seems ok in doing his own thing...so I am thinking and hoping I'm not doing something wrong, that is contributing to my eldest son's "clinginess". How can I, or do I NEED to...talk to my son about my concerns...without hurting his feelings, or making him feel that he's not welcome to accompany me places.

Their dad doesn't really do a whole hell of a lot with the boys...except to take them to work with him, on occasion (he's a truck-driver). My dad does take them fishing/hunting quite often...and my eldest son has learned quite a bit about mechanics from my dad...so, they do have some male/male interaction.

Lately, my dad has been teasing my son, by insinuating that he's a "momma's boy", so it's got me wondering...am I doing something wrong in the raising of my son?

I dont have kids. But I would assume that as he gets older he will find friends, and distance himself from you a bit more.

Either that or his is happy to be with you, and the pair of you should make the most of it.

I dont see a problem with him/you/the situation.

Be grateful he loves his mum enough to want to be with her.

There are plenty of people who dont!

I don't think you're doing anything wrong, he is just the way he is. He sounds like a wonderful, sweet kid. I have a momma's girl, and although she is very independent, she still is very sweet and affectionate to her mommy, while many of her friends are now at the stage where they want their parents to walk several feet behind them or not meet them at school where their friends might see them.

No you not,you are doing a great job

your not doing a thing wrong.all kids are different and your son likes your company.Enjoy it and stop worrying.:)

I don't think you are doing anything wrong, in fact I think you are doing all the right things. Since he is a teenager and you are raising them, he probably feels the need to be protective of you. Being a Mom and a truck drver myself, my daughter was that way when I was home. As was told to me by my daughter, your son is probably thinking the same thing; I've already lost one parent to the highways and in order not to lose the other I'm going to cling to this parent so that they won't go away. Let him be clingy if he wants to, but also make sure that you assure him that you aren't going any where to ease his fears.

dont worry about it at all - my son loved doing things with me till he graduated HS then last year he went off to college and when he came back for the summer I have to beg him to eat a meal with me - as much as I miss what we had I know I was lucky enough to have a couple of extra years with him and its time for him to do his own thing. My son always told me when he was in HS if i do things with my friends it costs me money if i do them with you its free - he was pretty smart. Your son will be out on his own soon enough if he isnt ready dont push him out of the door - you will have many years ahead for that...

Now thats a smart momma!!
Power to you!

no, spend as much time with as you can right now, because when they find other interests you'll miss them.

this is a fine example of how any child that interacts with others can react to only having one parent... it could be as simple as he does not want to lose you. It can also be, he's becoming a young man, and he is in his way being the man of house so to speak... staying by your side when he can... there to help it any way he can.
I think I understood you correctly,when he's told and assured you'll be alright he will go out with others? It appears hes putting you first in his life... how many parents wish they had this dilemma with their children (young and adult). Enjoy this time. I would possibly remind your father that although he is only joking, terms such as that can have a lasting impact, he could possibly find another way to joke with his grandson about staying close to you. Much like calling a child stupid or dumb or lazy theses words can effect his behavior especially if he respects or loves the saying it. Lords knows there are enuff influences out there that your son will have to disregard and ignore, no sense having one more coming from the family....
this is just an opinion..

constructive positive remarks work with children, Dayum, they work with adults and co-workers too

Thank you everyone for your advice...gawd, you don't know how much better I feel about the whole situation!! I really didn't have a problem with my son wanting to go where I go...as I love his company, and he is a great kid..er...man? He doesn't drink, party or do drugs (thank gawd...I worry enough as it is...lol) It just kinda worried me, when my dad started teasing him...I DON'T wanna raise a "momma's boy".

@ Belushi...I am sooo grateful that we have such a close mother/son bond, and when I see some of the relationships that some teenagers have with their parent/s...I soooo realize just how lucky I am.

@ Jet.... lol...that's seems to be the norm lately...so I thought MY son was being "abnormal" by wanting to walk BESIDE me. I guess he's an exception...lucky me.

@ KT, Mach and Cutelildevil....Thank you for putting my mind at ease...your comments are muchly appreciated!!

@ Serenity....I think you've hit the nail of the head. Infact, he's very protective of me. A few months back, I had a confrontation with my ex...he was trying to neglect his responsibility as a father, by skipping a child-support payment. I went to his home..told my son to stay in the van, and upon entering my ex's home...discovered he was drunk. I know better than to try and talk to him when he's drunk, so turned to leave and he pushed me up against the wall. It was just as my son walked in and...oh boy, he had his dad up against the wall in seconds flat. His dad is 5' 6"...135lbs, and he's 6' 0" and 225lbs...so, obviously his dad settled down rather quickly. So, now that you mention that he may be being protective of me...and doesn't want anything to happen to me, it really makes a lot of sense. I've recently gone through cancer treatment (prognosis looks great!!) so, I think that plays into his being scared that he'll lose me somehow.

@ Turkeymel....My son has already talked of what his plans are after he graduates...and he wanted me to go with him while he attends a college, roughly 2 1/2 hours away. He's interested in Computer Technology. I told him that college is a time where he's to enjoy the company of his fellow students and "spread his wings" but he said he's not going to leave me...so I still have that dilemma to deal with. I told him I can't be by his side forever, and his reply was "I know that, mom". He still has one more year of HS...so, I guess we'll take on that "problem" when the time comes.

@ Fire....Yes, he does go out with his friends when I assure him that I'll be just fine...but, sometimes it does take a lot to get him out there with doing things a young man his age should be doing. He won't leave me home alone over-night, for instance. If his brother is not here...he simply won't go...no matter what I say. Not much I can do there, I suppose. Maybe, as he gets older he'll realize that I am not as "fragile" as he sees me to be right now...I'm hoping anyway.

In regards to my father...you're right; I do need to have a chat with him. I don't think he realizes how harsh some of his words are, at times. His father was quite strict (down-right abusive..to be honest with you) so, I think my dad's believes that men should have emotions made of stone...so to speak. My dad only had 3 girls....no sons...so, he's just as "green" as I am, in regards to raising a son/s.


Again....I want to thank everyone for their opinions. It feels like a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders...you've put my mind at ease soooo much. Thank you!!

I think it would really be great if we lived in a world where people didn't put labels on other people's behavior.

Just let people be who they are I say.

Like them or don't, but let them be who they are.

The bitches who are so worried about being with a "momma's boy" usually end up with an abustive jerk instead anyway. Then after they get fed up with that they want to know where all the "sensitive" men are.

It's a crazy world.

bitch here.i was married to a mommas boy.I dont think we have the same meaning.When you marry your spouse should come first period,the end.You can love your momma but she shouldn't run your life to the point that you don't shit unless you ask her first.Being close to your mom is not wrong,letting her run your life is.

ya know...i would be SO proud to have a teenage son who was concerned for me, and who chose to be in my presence.

most parents worry that their kids want nothing to do with them.

give thanks, and enjoy it...you are one lucky mother.

Jax wrote:
"Being close to your mom is not wrong,letting her run your life is."

I absolutely agree. But the label "momma's boy" is often used incorrectly.

OR, it's just assumed that if a man pays a lot of attention he let's her run his life which isn't necessarily the case at all.

I personaly don't care for that label because from my point of view most of the women that I've seen use that label were actually self-centered attention-seekers who actually get jealous if they aren't the center of attention 100% of the time. So when I see women use that label it actually turns me off to THEM.

But I do know what you mean about men who have absolutely no ability to run their own lives. I just don't think of them as "momma's boys". I think of them as incompetent idiots plain and simple.

Actually I think there's something postive to be said for men who aren't afraid to interact with their mother's freely and be concerned with their happiness. So it's a touchy "label".

Incompetent men,...

But men who care about their mothers,...

Cute and Abra....I think you're both right.

You're disagreement is my fault. I don't think I used the proper term...maybe I should have said "an emotionally attached child?" *shrugs*...as there is a huge difference between a man making sure his mom's safety and emotional well being are being met, and a man that doesn't make any decisions in life..without first consulting his mom (a momma's boy)...lol..and believe me, my sons definately have their own minds. Once they turned 12'ish or so, I made sure they accepted resposibility for their own actions (I had noticed they were playin' the "blame game" a little too often, for my liking) and if they were presented with a problem (not a huge one, mind you)they solved it on their own....be it a disagreement between the two of them, or a choice/decision that needed to be made.

Sorry, if I caused any uneccessary friction by my post...I need to be a little clearer in the future.

@ Star....now that I know that I'm not doing anything wrong, in regards to my son...that's just what I'm goin' to do...simply enjoy it. Thank you Star...I am proud of him.

Lol thats just me clearing the air with James..no conflict,just points of view.

just an afterthought as most parents think they know what is out on the streets in the way of danger for thier young ones, it is quite possible this son of yours is aware of dangers inthe neighbor pertining to you. From a young mans perspective and a mothers perspective, what one sees as a threatdanger and what the others see as a threat/danger differ....that does not make either less real. and again we are talkin about a young man... the eyes and ideas and perception of a young man.

Good point....you're right, our neighbourhood isn't the best one in town, and my son may perceive it to be danger to me, if left alone. You're a wise man Fire.