Part 1
And it came to pass in the Age of Insanity that the people of the land
called America , having lost their morals, their initiative, and their
will to defend their liberties, chose as their Supreme Leader that
person known as "The One". He emerged from the vapors with a message
that had no meaning; but
He hypnotized the people telling them, "I am
sent to save you. My lack of experience, my questionable ethics, my
monstrous ego, and my association with evil doers are of no consequence.
For I shall save you with Hope and Change. Go, therefore, and proclaim
throughout the land that he who preceded me is evil, that he has defiled
the nation, and that all he has built must be destroyed." And the
people rejoiced, for even though they knew not what "The One" would do,
he had promised that it was good; and they believed.
And "The One" said "We live in the greatest country in the world. Help
me change everything about it!"
And the people said, "Hallelujah!! Change is good!"
Then He said, "We are going to tax the rich fat-cats.." And the people
said "Sock it to them!" "And redistribute their wealth." And the
people said, "Show us the money!"
And then He said, "Redistribution of wealth is good for
everybody" And
Joe the plumber asked, "Are you kidding me? You're going to steal my
money and give it to the deadbeats??" And "The One" ridiculed and
taunted him, and Joe's personal records were hacked and publicized. One
lone reporter asked, "Isn't that Marxist policy?" And she was banished
from the kingdom!
Then a citizen asked, "With no foreign relations experience and having
zero military experience or knowledge, how will you deal with radical
terrorists?" And "The One" said, "Simple. I shall sit with them and talk
with them and show them how nice we really are; and they will forget
that they ever wanted to kill us all!" And the people said,
"Hallelujah!! We are safe at last, and we can beat our weapons into free
cars for the people!"
Then "The One" said, "I shall give 95% of you lower taxes." And one,
lone voice said, "But 40% of us don't pay ANY taxes." So "The One" said,
"Then I shall give
you some of the taxes the fat-cats pay!" And the
people said, "Hallelujah!! Show us the money!" Then "The One" said, "I
shall tax your Capital Gains when you sell your homes!" And the
people yawned and the slumping housing market collapsed.
And He said, "I shall mandate employer- funded health care for EVERY
worker and raise the minimum wage. And I shall give every person
unlimited health care and medicine and transportation to the clinics."
And the people said, "Give me some of that!"
Then he said, "I shall penalize employers who ship jobs overseas." And
the people said, "Where's my rebate check?"
Then "The One" said, "I shall bankrupt the coal industry and
electricity rates will skyrocket!" And the people said, "Coal is dirty,
coal is evil, no more coal! But we don't care for that part about higher
electric rates." So "The One" said, "Not to worry. If your rebate isn't
enough to cover your
expenses, we shall bail you out. Just sign up with
ACORN and your troubles are over!"
Then He said, "Illegal immigrants feel scorned and slighted. Let's
grant them amnesty, Social Security, free education, free lunches, free
medical care, bi-lingual signs and guaranteed housing..." And the
people said, "Hallelujah!!" And
they made him King!
And so it came to pass that employers, facing spiraling costs and
ever-higher taxes, raised their prices and laid off workers. Others
simply gave up and went out of business and the economy sank like unto a
rock dropped from a cliff. The banking industry was destroyed.
Manufacturing slowed to a crawl. And more of the people were without a
means of support..