For all those who already there [ me included] and also for those who are on the way
Take them all with a pinch of salt and some good old fashioned humour.
My eyesight's not as sharp as it was,and another thing my eyesight's not as sharp as it was!
I went to the Gym the other day to enrol in the aerobics class as I wanted to keep trim. I twisted,gyrated,jumped up and down,threw my arms in the air,and perspired a lot.
By the time I had got my leotard on the class was over!!!!!
These days half the stuff I put in my shopping trolley is labelled"for fast relief".
Don't you think it's scary when your body makes the same noises as your coffee percolater?
Just before a funeral service the other day the undertaker turns to the widow and says"How old was your husband?" She replies that he was 98 years old."So you are 96" says the undertaker."Yes" she replies"Hardly worth going home!"
Reporter asking a lady on her 104th Birthday what she feels is the best thing about that age
"No peer pressure" she replies.
It's nice when you are senile.You can hide your own Easter eggs!!!!!
Do you know how to prevent wrinkles?
Eat till the wrinkles fill out!
Now that I'm olderI thought great I'll have more patience.
Turns out I don't give a s--t!
Senility Prayers.
Lord grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked.
The good fortune to run into the one's that I do,
Most of all the eyesight to tell the difference