I need some insight on an issue

THREAD AUTHOR

BClady Surrey, British Columbia Canada

Wed Jul 8, 2009 12:11 PM CST : I need some insight on an issue....

This has been a problem for me for a very long time and if anyone here has a similar problem or can provide some insight into mine, it will be greatly appreciated.

I am not attracted to black men, but they are always hitting on me. I'm not a racist and it is not racial. I just am not attracted. I always feel awkward when a black guy approaches me and starts in with his "smooth" talk that sounds more like bullshit. That's what I find most unattractive. it isn't his color or culture, but his 'attitude'. I find them to be very pretentious in their approach and for me it is easy to read.

I want to tell him where to go, but I don't want to come off as being a racist. The two can be easily confusing.
It's to a point right now where I can't look a black man in the eye without him jumping to a conclusion that I want to go to bed with him. So I end up not looking at him at all. Any other ideas how I can handle this? I think I've tried everything.

BOBANBOBAN Pozarevac City, Central Serbia Serbia

Wed Jul 8, 2009 12:15 PM CST : I need some insight on an issue....

BClady: This has been a problem for me for a very long time and if anyone here has a similar problem or can provide some insight into mine, it will be greatly appreciated.

I am not attracted to black men, but they are always hitting on me. I'm not a racist and it is not racial. I just am not attracted. I always feel awkward when a black guy approaches me and starts in with his "smooth" talk that sounds more like bullshit. That's what I find most unattractive. it isn't his color or culture, but his 'attitude'. I find them to be very pretentious in their approach and for me it is easy to read.

I want to tell him where to go, but I don't want to come off as being a racist. The two can be easily confusing.
It's to a point right now where I can't look a black man in the eye without him jumping to a conclusion that I want to go to bed with him. So I end up not looking at him at all. Any other ideas how I can handle this? I think I've tried everything.

Am black

(onse you go black...you r never going back)...

Sommerauer71 Salzburg, Salzburg Austria

Wed Jul 8, 2009 12:16 PM CST : I need some insight on an issue....

BClady: This has been a problem for me for a very long time and if anyone here has a similar problem or can provide some insight into mine, it will be greatly appreciated.

I am not attracted to black men, but they are always hitting on me. I'm not a racist and it is not racial. I just am not attracted. I always feel awkward when a black guy approaches me and starts in with his "smooth" talk that sounds more like bullshit. That's what I find most unattractive. it isn't his color or culture, but his 'attitude'. I find them to be very pretentious in their approach and for me it is easy to read.

I want to tell him where to go, but I don't want to come off as being a racist. The two can be easily confusing.
It's to a point right now where I can't look a black man in the eye without him jumping to a conclusion that I want to go to bed with him. So I end up not looking at him at all. Any other ideas how I can handle this? I think I've tried everything.

Isn't it just the same as telling any man that you are not interested?

pubwrite08 District Heights, Maryland USA

Wed Jul 8, 2009 12:18 PM CST : I need some insight on an issue....

Black men do speak "smoother" when they want to attract a woman. But in defense of my brothers, and I say this kindly to you. It is a culture thing. They just find you attractive, nothing more nothing less.

They know that you probably think they are bullshitters when they walk up to you. So they try the soft approach.

heatherhuntsman van nuys, California USA

Wed Jul 8, 2009 12:24 PM CST : I need some insight on an issue....

wow wow and wow

BClady Surrey, British Columbia Canada

Wed Jul 8, 2009 12:25 PM CST : I need some insight on an issue....

Sommerauer71: Isn't it just the same as telling any man that you are not interested?

It is for me, but it always leaves them with the wrong impression and they let it be known. Is it worth my time to argue?

jeepers Cowpet Bay, Saint Thomas Virgin Islands (USA)

Wed Jul 8, 2009 12:29 PM CST : I need some insight on an issue....

pubwrite08: Black men do speak "smoother" when they want to attract a woman. But in defense of my brothers, and I say this kindly to you. It is a culture thing. They just find you attractive, nothing more nothing less.

They know that you probably think they are bullshitters when they walk up to you. So they try the soft approach.

I agree, and I think with all different races you have the same thing, just that some have a different style. Here on the island, the rude ones can really be rude, they will hiss at the girls. I guess it's the same as the construction guys in the states who wistle and stare as a lady passes by. I believe it isn't a black or white thing. JMO.

BOBANBOBAN Pozarevac City, Central Serbia Serbia

Wed Jul 8, 2009 12:30 PM CST : I need some insight on an issue....

heatherhuntsman: wow wow and wow

What what and what???

Snuggs09 Livingston, New Jersey USA

Wed Jul 8, 2009 12:31 PM CST : I need some insight on an issue....

Black men take a second look at me too. I've heard that black men are attracted to big booties and I do have one of those.

I'm not offended by it and I wish that I could cross the line to date a black man. There are not only some good looking black men but some very intelligent ones too.

I don't believe in inter-racial marriage, especially when there will be children. I'm past the point of having children and I have no interest in marriage so like Boban said....you never go back once you try a black man. I'll just take his word for it.

jeepers Cowpet Bay, Saint Thomas Virgin Islands (USA)

Wed Jul 8, 2009 12:31 PM CST : I need some insight on an issue....

Oh ! I must add that here on the islands, the nice folks are really, really nice.

( like me !! )_

bestbefore poole, Dorset, England UK

Wed Jul 8, 2009 12:33 PM CST : I need some insight on an issue....

There is no "correct" way to handle your problem,and surely not many people that will advise you of same. All men of a type will "try" it on and surely it's how YOU deal with it that is important, as YOU are in the situation.

I have met black men who have turned out to be absolutely charming intelligent, and great company. I was in a situation in 1957 when we had A U.S.A.F. base near Bournemouth. I was 17 at the time. Every weekend they poured into the town looking for a "good time" and there was a party in a local hotel which turned into an orgy. The one person who led me out of there to safety was a black American, and I had a great friendship with him until he got shipped out to the Far East.I wish I knew him still.His name was Lewis F. Samuels from Montana,and I have never forgotten his kindness.

Dont put them all in a bracket is what I'm trying to say.

Polarbutterfly Somewhere, Northwest Territories Canada

Wed Jul 8, 2009 12:34 PM CST : I need some insight on an issue....

I think that you're feeling this way because
it's in your nature not to hurt anyone's feelings.
I so understand where you're coming from.

In response to: This has been a problem for me for a very long time and if anyone here has a similar problem or can provide some insight into mine, it will be greatly appreciated.

I am not attracted to black men, but they are always hitting on me. I'm not a racist and it is not racial. I just am not attracted. I always feel awkward when a black guy approaches me and starts in with his "smooth" talk that sounds more like bullshit. That's what I find most unattractive. it isn't his color or culture, but his 'attitude'. I find them to be very pretentious in their approach and for me it is easy to read.

I want to tell him where to go, but I don't want to come off as being a racist. The two can be easily confusing.
It's to a point right now where I can't look a black man in the eye without him jumping to a conclusion that I want to go to bed with him. So I end up not looking at him at all. Any other ideas how I can handle this? I think I've tried everything.

Sommerauer71 Salzburg, Salzburg Austria

Wed Jul 8, 2009 12:36 PM CST : I need some insight on an issue....

BClady: It is for me, but it always leaves them with the wrong impression and they let it be known. Is it worth my time to argue?

I am a bit confused here BC. If you are not interested in a man, why are you bothered about what impression you leave? I don't respond to messages from men, who mail me who are asking about me. I delete the mail. They probably think I am rude, frankly I don't care.

BClady Surrey, British Columbia Canada

Wed Jul 8, 2009 12:37 PM CST : I need some insight on an issue....

pubwrite08: Black men do speak "smoother" when they want to attract a woman. But in defense of my brothers, and I say this kindly to you. It is a culture thing. They just find you attractive, nothing more nothing less.

They know that you probably think they are bullshitters when they walk up to you. So they try the soft approach.

In other words, they're just being themselves?

druidess6308 Reverse, Pennsylvania USA

Wed Jul 8, 2009 12:42 PM CST : I need some insight on an issue....

In response to: This has been a problem for me for a very long time and if anyone here has a similar problem or can provide some insight into mine, it will be greatly appreciated.

I am not attracted to black men, but they are always hitting on me. I'm not a racist and it is not racial. I just am not attracted. I always feel awkward when a black guy approaches me and starts in with his "smooth" talk that sounds more like bullshit. That's what I find most unattractive. it isn't his color or culture, but his 'attitude'. I find them to be very pretentious in their approach and for me it is easy to read.

I want to tell him where to go, but I don't want to come off as being a racist. The two can be easily confusing.
It's to a point right now where I can't look a black man in the eye without him jumping to a conclusion that I want to go to bed with him. So I end up not looking at him at all. Any other ideas how I can handle this? I think I've tried everything.

We're all attracted to different things, BC. My advice would simply be to continue to politely say, "Thank you, I'm flattered, but I'm not interested." There's nothing wrong with that. Avoiding all eye contact doesn't seem to be a good solution, and you're not going to be able to stop having black men attracted to you. All that you can do is learn to deal with it comfortably.

BOBANBOBAN Pozarevac City, Central Serbia Serbia

Wed Jul 8, 2009 12:47 PM CST : I need some insight on an issue....

BClady: This has been a problem for me for a very long time and if anyone here has a similar problem or can provide some insight into mine, it will be greatly appreciated.

I am not attracted to black men, but they are always hitting on me. I'm not a racist and it is not racial. I just am not attracted. I always feel awkward when a black guy approaches me and starts in with his "smooth" talk that sounds more like bullshit. That's what I find most unattractive. it isn't his color or culture, but his 'attitude'. I find them to be very pretentious in their approach and for me it is easy to read.

I want to tell him where to go, but I don't want to come off as being a racist. The two can be easily confusing.
It's to a point right now where I can't look a black man in the eye without him jumping to a conclusion that I want to go to bed with him. So I end up not looking at him at all. Any other ideas how I can handle this? I think I've tried everything.

Are white guys also hitting on you???

and if you dont like it what do you do then???

samlaunch Knoxville, Tennessee USA

Wed Jul 8, 2009 12:52 PM CST : I need some insight on an issue....

Hilarious! Just tell them that you already have a black boyfriend and his name is Jermaine Jackson. First they'll think you're crazy and then they'll say, "Oh, I see", and then walk away. You fight silliness with silliness. Try it.

BClady Surrey, British Columbia Canada

Wed Jul 8, 2009 12:59 PM CST : I need some insight on an issue....

BOBANBOBAN: Are white guys also hitting on you???

and if you dont like it what do you do then???

Depends on the approach.

gooddogman Leesburg, Florida USA

Wed Jul 8, 2009 1:00 PM CST : I need some insight on an issue....

A little Jive can keep a conversation alive...I had many friends in the military but I hung with the the guys that could sing and dance, my Black buddies...They took good care of a 18 year old white kid that liked to dance, I learned all the moves. I also learned to throw dice and play cards, they also taught me how not to get cheated..I got called a name or two by whites, remember this was in the early day 1962 3,4.5. Those guy's never had problems talking to the girls and the black girls seem to know how to handle it...They would just smile and tell who was jiving them to take you'er mouth somewhere else ain't got no time for that. It was fun, I'm glad I never joined the White's only club. I would have missed a life time experience

by the way you look cool baby what your fine self doing here

heatherhuntsman van nuys, California USA

Wed Jul 8, 2009 1:04 PM CST : I need some insight on an issue....

OMG I am in disbelief you guys are killing me

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