In response to: How long does that take anyway?
Someone must know.
What a damn good question.
How many times do we see the words 'I am me' 'I am what I am'
I am not a person who 'always' does the same thing. I do brush my teeth every day, twice even, I shower the same way and I fold towels the same way.
I write the same with a pen and I tick correct answers from my students in the same way and I strike through from left to write when they produce something that my cat could have written.
So the habits we form over our lives are very much there.
But when do we change into ourselves? I changed in what I believe is me, when I moved to Austria and found peace, harmony and an existence where I could rest my head at nights and wake up looking forward to my work, my day, looking at the mountains and feeling alive and refreshed. I have a sluggish day here and there and I will to remove that, go and talk a brisk walk and that is enough to make me whole again, no jumping off bridges, no lying in a glassbox and having cockroaches dropped onto me for reality TV, no need to prove that I can do something, if I want to do something then I will, if I don't I will not.
I feel comnfortable being at home, having a dinner party for close friends and chatting with loved ones, but then I also feel comfortable out at a luncheon for people that I do not know and I have been invited because I am 'new' in town.
When did I change into me? When I had to stop proving that I was a good mother, a good person, a good lover, a good friend and a good daughter...