So what do I say?

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rizlared Pisa, Tuscany Italy
Sun Jul 12, 2009 11:59 AM CST : So what do I say?
AudrysSis: OK, since nothing that I've done seems to have worked on here (it only seems to scare men off), what do guys REALLY expect when they send you a flower saying "I'd love to get to know you. Tell me more"? It seems simple but it's actually rather tricky. Usually I respond like I normally would. I find it strange that my profile seems to attract some people but the correspondence with the actual person, when she responds, does not. I'm thinking perhaps I need to switch to the teenage-like "text message" style, or make some spelling mistakes? What more can I tell if the main things are on my profile, as it is? Should I mention some physical parameters, size(s), is that what men want to know?


You don't scare me, quite the opposite, but I will let you into a secret, when you have written to over 100 women on various sites, you start to get bored with constantly repeating yourself, there are only so many ways you can say " I love travel and finding new and interesting cultures", so by getting the woman to tell more about herself is a way for the guy to pick up on something with a common interest and then go with it, most women put a bit about themselves in their profile, that gets the interest, now we need to find out what else we have in common to see if it is worth taking this contact further.
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AudrysSis Riga, Riga Latvia
Sun Jul 12, 2009 3:05 PM CST : So what do I say?
OneKitty: At any rate, it would seem all posters are in agreement that OP is not refering to a gal in her quest for responders! I stand corrected gang! :)


Gosh, it's a bit of a waste of the thread I suppose, LMAO, too bad I was gone all day and couldn't put your minds at rest, LOL. No, not looking for a girl, although a little bit longer (and a few more "failures" with guys) and I might be forced to change my mind about that, after all the first and foremost thing for me is companionship. laugh

druidess6308: I believe "when she responds", due to the way it's written within commas, refers to herself when she responds to a man. I hope that helps with the grammar issue. And yes, hers was correct.

To answer the OP, I agree. I'd like to know what men mean when they say, "Tell me more about yourself" because the main things are right there in my profile. I respond better to those who can start a conversation off of something in my profile, or ask for more information regarding something in it.


Thank you, and yes regarding my problem, that's exactly what I mean - my profile simply cannot be any longer (CS won't allow it), so surely there must be some specific things to ask about? blues

Bentlee: My experience has been good when a lady keeps it real an comfortable makes for easier chat.


And here I thought that's just what I've been doing... So what does it mean? (please elaborate?)

steven6611: I dont know I have previousy sent you a sensible message to no prevail, but it didnt bother me.


Yup, I had to go back some pages and re-read your email - it doesn't sound like it actually needed a response, you pretty much stated everything there. hug
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AudrysSis Riga, Riga Latvia
Sun Jul 12, 2009 3:13 PM CST : So what do I say?
IndependenceDay: I would say to continue being yourself. If they don't like you for what you wrote, there's no need to change that. Why should you care if someone failed to respond to your message because of "how" or "what" you wrote?


I agree with you... But what if they're potentially compatible people? Just really wondering what is meant by "tell me more". Perhaps some things that would NEVER even occur to me, due to being a woman.
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kidatheart Earth, Alberta Canada
Sun Jul 12, 2009 3:57 PM CST : So what do I say?
I've had messages like that in the past,(tell me more) and usually reply with a "like what?". Very few have ever mailed back, which gives me the impression they really didn't want to know anything in the first place. laugh

Seems like a lot of people are looking for instant gratification, and won't make the effort to actually get to know the other person. That takes time, and open, honest communication. If they disappear after a single flower or mail is sent, then understandably, it gets frustrating, but you might be better off that way.

Don't go changing the way you write/communicate to suit someone else's tastes or simply to attract them. You write well, and someone will appreciate that, I know I do. As far as what to write, just keep the conversation flowing, you don't seem to have any problems with that either.

You're intelligent, articulate and lovely young lady, so don't dumb youself down or change the way you are.

hug
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mike69spain Almuñécar, Andalucia Spain
Sun Jul 12, 2009 4:00 PM CST : So what do I say?
kidatheart: Don't go changing the way you write/communicate to suit someone else's tastes or simply to attract them. You write well, and someone will appreciate that, I know I do. As far as what to write, just keep the conversation flowing, you don't seem to have any problems with that either.


What he said.

As always wine
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AudrysSis Riga, Riga Latvia
Sun Jul 12, 2009 4:26 PM CST : So what do I say?
kidatheart: I've had messages like that in the past,(tell me more) and usually reply with a "like what?".


I'm even more polite, devil I tell them to feel free to ask anything they'd like to know. But I've very, very seldom had any responses to that. Which truly surprises me, because
1) I couldn't possibly have ruined anything just by this short reply, could I
2) I don't ever write to anyone unless I am interested in them, so this to me qualifies as a waste of time - theirs and mine. roll eyes
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