A very thought-provoking topic. I am glad the name was removed before I read it; I might have responded emotionally, and much as some of you did. It is unfair to single anyone out - we cannot judge her, and no offense, but we have no idea exactly what was said to her, or how she took it under the circumstances. The starter of the thread has a very valid point, too. And none of us want to be hurt. Some of us are here because we are tired of making those sacrifices and investments in a personal/physical relationship before we have any idea what we are really getting. Let me share some of my experiences, and maybe they will comfort someone. I talked for a long time with a man on this site that I thought was wonderful, if not a perfect fit. I did agree to meet him, though, and then had to cancel the meeting (or delay it, as the case would have been) for reasons beyond my control. He went on something of a tirade and actually accused me of dishonesty, when he didn't really know me or the situation. This was not the first indication that he was perhaps too distrustful, insecure, or plain high-maintenance for me. I did write him back and apologize for the misunderstanding. Another man wrote to me and got extremely rude - I mean extremely - because of my response to his question "am I the only guy you talk to on here?" I was going to report him, after the second very nasty letter he sent me, when I noticed the ignore option. I used it. On a happier note, I met a young man from another state, whom I had been writing with. The meeting was good, but not perfect, and a lot shorter than originally planned. Turns out he's a great guy, although probably not "the one" for me. We still talk now and then. On an aside, he didn't look anything like his picture, and I found that unsettling. It damaged my trust for him from the gate. I think people should represent themselves fully and honestly, as they are. I met another man, from another state, who has little or no control over his emotions. He is also a great guy, we are still talking, and I will refrain from disclosing details. At the risk of concluding with cliches, there are a lot of fish in the sea, and finding the right one is no small feat. I think the ladies and gentlemen should always try to be at least polite, and it is a meaningful, if difficult, gesture to go ahead and say you are sorry in a final email. This is very difficult for some people. I'm sorry she responded the way she did, causing someone pain. Fact is, she could have written a long letter goodbye and still caused him pain. Why do men say they will call and then not do it? Why do women? Pain is part and parcel with the search. It is all part of the dating "game," and even those of us who hate games have to be able to handle a little strife, and put some energy into the search. I won't be satisfied with anything other than "the one." This is a wonderful site, and I appreciate the opportunity to meet people from all over. Mr. Right doesn't seem to be in my home town! But chin up, and prepare for a bumpy ride. It isn't going to be easy for most of us here, either - or anywhere.