Should Single Dads Worry about First Impressions When Mentioning

THREAD AUTHOR

mandro21 Boston, Massachusetts USA

Thu Sep 3, 2009 11:22 AM CST : Should Single Dads Worry about "First Impressions" When Mentioning They're A Full-Time Parent??

I am in a tough position... I am a single dad with custody of my daughter. I love her with all of my heart and she's my world, but because of "first impressions" I am reluctant to mention anything right away about her. Probably more confused.

I know a good profile is a HONEST profile, but I won't mention my daughter atleast until the ice is broken. I get worried when I read certain things like;"The two things that can cause you to go from possible soul mate to the recycle bin in just one click are your weight and having children. It appears that American singles would even tolerate a smoker before taking on an instant family." Sadly some people do think that way. Its the same the other way around with single moms. Probably harder. I would like some feedback on this, because my most PROUD quaulity is raising my 13yr old girl myself and done so for 11 years!!! I am pretty young at 31, but I would never seek a replacement for her mother. I am confused as hell...

Any feedback would be awesome!

robby246 whitby, North Yorkshire, England UK

Thu Sep 3, 2009 11:32 AM CST : Should Single Dads Worry about "First Impressions" When Mentioning They're A Full-Time Parent??

Hi Mandro21,
Being a single parent is something to be proud of, at least you have the nerve and the back bone and you love your Daughter, dont hide it shout it from the roof tops.
Best of luck, keep going for it and you will meet the right person for you and your daughter.
rob

mandro21 Boston, Massachusetts USA

Thu Sep 3, 2009 12:43 PM CST : Should Single Dads Worry about "First Impressions" When Mentioning They're A Full-Time Parent??

robby246: Hi Mandro21,
Being a single parent is something to be proud of, at least you have the nerve and the back bone and you love your Daughter, dont hide it shout it from the roof tops.
Best of luck, keep going for it and you will meet the right person for you and your daughter.
rob

Thanks Rob!!

amahlala Las Vegas, Nevada USA

Thu Sep 3, 2009 12:49 PM CST : Should Single Dads Worry about "First Impressions" When Mentioning They're A Full-Time Parent??

Be proud of it...mention it when you feel comfortable...and don't ever let anyone make you feel bad for putting her first when you need to.

Polarbutterfly Somewhere, Northwest Territories Canada

Thu Sep 3, 2009 12:49 PM CST : Should Single Dads Worry about "First Impressions" When Mentioning They're A Full-Time Parent??

I so understand where you're coming from;
I'm a mother of five teenagers,I've always
made it known that I'm a mother,first and foremost.
If he can't accept me for me,meaning my family firstly
than he should look elsewhere.I've conversed with
very caring and understanding people,people who are
truly interested in me for me.Hope that helped some.

In response to: I am in a tough position... I am a single dad with custody of my daughter. I love her with all of my heart and she's my world, but because of "first impressions" I am reluctant to mention anything right away about her. Probably more confused. I know a good profile is a HONEST profile, but I won't mention my daughter atleast until the ice is broken. I get worried when I read certain things like;"The two things that can cause you to go from possible soul mate to the recycle bin in just one click are your weight and having children. It appears that American singles would even tolerate a smoker before taking on an instant family." Sadly some people do think that way. Its the same the other way around with single moms. Probably harder. I would like some feedback on this, because my most PROUD quaulity is raising my 13yr old girl myself and done so for 11 years!!! I am pretty young at 31, but I would never seek a replacement for her mother. I am confused as hell... Any feedback would be awesome!

mandro21 Boston, Massachusetts USA

Thu Sep 3, 2009 1:18 PM CST : Should Single Dads Worry about "First Impressions" When Mentioning They're A Full-Time Parent??

You are all absolutley right!! When

Polarbutterfly: I so understand where you're coming from;
I'm a mother of five teenagers,I've always
made it known that I'm a mother,first and foremost.
If he can't accept me for me,meaning my family firstly
than he should look elsewhere.I've conversed with
very caring and understanding people,people who are
truly interested in me for me.Hope that helped some.

You both are absolutly right!! My daughter is part of who I am. And no matter what, She comes first! My thing is, i'm kinda new 2 this and I read about single parents getting passed over cause they got kids and that just pisses me off!!

Like I always say, "I come ina two person package" I appreciate the imput.

wyowilly labarge, Wyoming USA

Thu Sep 3, 2009 1:21 PM CST : Should Single Dads Worry about "First Impressions" When Mentioning They're A Full-Time Parent??

Mandro, this is a concern for sure. I've found out the quickest way for me to chase women off is mention I have little girls. Women my age have grand kids now and have their young'ns raised so I understand. Though I was younger at the time I raised my now 24 year old son on my own and anyone worth spit'n on admired me for it, man or woman. Think'n back if I would have hooked up with a gal that had a kid or kids around my son's age it MAY have been better. We could have throw'n the kids together and raised them together.

Keeping my little girls "quiet" I don't do. I'm like you Mandro, my kids are my life. Any gal that has any interest in me I let them know about my girls first off. If they run then it's meant to be!!

Polarbutterfly Somewhere, Northwest Territories Canada

Thu Sep 3, 2009 1:23 PM CST : Should Single Dads Worry about "First Impressions" When Mentioning They're A Full-Time Parent??

Hey,it pissed me off to,in the beginning
but now,I just look at it as a whole
picture.He's either gonna accept me
and mine as an entire package or he's not.
I know he's out there as she is for you.
Optimism is the goal.

mandro21: You are all absolutley right!! When

You both are absolutly right!! My daughter is part of who I am. And no matter what, She comes first! My thing is, i'm kinda new 2 this and I read about single parents getting passed over cause they got kids and that just pisses me off!! Like I always say, "I come ina two person package" I appreciate the imput.

Polarbutterfly Somewhere, Northwest Territories Canada

Thu Sep 3, 2009 1:25 PM CST : Should Single Dads Worry about "First Impressions" When Mentioning They're A Full-Time Parent??

Polarbutterfly: Hey,it pissed me off to,in the beginning
but now,I just look at it as a whole
picture.He's either gonna accept me
and mine as an entire package or he's not.
I know he's out there as she is for you.
Optimism is the goal.

Rephrase,be optimistic.

amahlala Las Vegas, Nevada USA

Thu Sep 3, 2009 1:25 PM CST : Should Single Dads Worry about "First Impressions" When Mentioning They're A Full-Time Parent??

I was a package deal...I had three...he had three...I raised them all...the ex and I knew going into it the kids were first and foremost and we never said anything bad about the other parents...it was hard...but worth it, cause even though I'm not with my ex...I did raise some great kids!

RobertC2 Xaghra, Gozo, Gozo Malta

Thu Sep 3, 2009 1:30 PM CST : Should Single Dads Worry about "First Impressions" When Mentioning They're A Full-Time Parent??

I met a guy and his daughter recently.

He was about my age - ok, he was actually a few years younger.

He'd brought up his daughter on his own since she was 4 and was now 14. She was/is very beautiful and looks about 18 and all the waiters in the hotel they were staying at were drooling over her.

I got very jealous of the guy because on his last but one night he went out with a very beautiful woman his daughter had introduced him to. She was there with her 16 year-old son.

All four went out for a meal together.

She was leaving the next morning. Her son shall spend Christmas with his dad and this guy invited her to spend Christmas with him and his daughter. She accepted the invitation immediately.

They made/make a lovely couple. I was jealous as I'd have loved to have taken her out, but I wish them well.

See? As a single father you too can find a gorgeous woman 'just like that'!

mandro21 Boston, Massachusetts USA

Thu Sep 3, 2009 1:39 PM CST : Should Single Dads Worry about "First Impressions" When Mentioning They're A Full-Time Parent??

amahlala: I was a package deal...I had three...he had three...I raised them all...the ex and I knew going into it the kids were first and foremost and we never said anything bad about the other parents...it was hard...but worth it, cause even though I'm not with my ex...I did raise some great kids!

All the power 2 ya! One is a handful but three?? I hear ya though, I never talk negatively about her mom. But she got all kinda crap to say about me. And it aint health 4 the kids.I learned that kids are very smart and will figure out the truth about their parents no matter what. My Ex had the respect to not bash her mother as much as she wanted too! And with the other reply, Optamism is not the problem for me, Its the shallow people that don't think before they talk!! Its all good though...

ooby_dooby Ashland, Virginia USA

Thu Sep 3, 2009 1:41 PM CST : Should Single Dads Worry about "First Impressions" When Mentioning They're A Full-Time Parent??

Mandro, mono e mono, women, real women, think that a single dad is lightyears ahead of the footloose players that frequent the bars & clubs. Trust me on this. You have to look at it from a womans perspective. I'm sure they can't help but be impressed by a man who chooses to raise his children on his own because they know what it takes, the sacrifices, the homework, the earaches, the trips to the doctor, the cooking and cleaning etc etc. Any man who can do that should be hailed as a REAL MAN.
Any woman who turns her nose up at this kind of man isn't worth getting involved with.
Blended families are a challenge but with hard work and laying down some boundaries it can work out very nicely.

mandro21 Boston, Massachusetts USA

Thu Sep 3, 2009 1:56 PM CST : Should Single Dads Worry about "First Impressions" When Mentioning They're A Full-Time Parent??

wyowilly: Mandro, this is a concern for sure. I've found out the quickest way for me to chase women off is mention I have little girls. Women my age have grand kids now and have their young'ns raised so I understand. Though I was younger at the time I raised my now 24 year old son on my own and anyone worth spit'n on admired me for it, man or woman. Think'n back if I would have hooked up with a gal that had a kid or kids around my son's age it MAY have been better. We could have throw'n the kids together and raised them together.

Keeping my little girls "quiet" I don't do. I'm like you Mandro, my kids are my life. Any gal that has any interest in me I let them know about my girls first off. If they run then it's meant to be!!

Thanx man!

Before I had my daughter, I was living hard and dating skanks compared to the decent woman I've been with after I got custody... She's my godsend, I turned my life around for the better. And like you say the admiration is there.. My daughter is really outgoing and cheerful. Most of my girlfriends loved her! The thing that does suck, Some people assume that "oh shit he's got a kid, he must want a replacement mother" And thats the farthest thing from my mind!! I'm only 31, I have alot of things to do before settling down. Hey, thanks for your comment and take care.

mandro21 Boston, Massachusetts USA

Thu Sep 3, 2009 2:01 PM CST : Should Single Dads Worry about "First Impressions" When Mentioning They're A Full-Time Parent??

True. But as tough as shit gets, I still have my down time. Its a little easier now that shes older. Thank god for my family! They help me out so I can cut loose once in a while. Thank you for your nice words!

sweet_saucy2008 Northwest, Tennessee USA

Thu Sep 3, 2009 2:10 PM CST : Should Single Dads Worry about "First Impressions" When Mentioning They're A Full-Time Parent??

I can only respond to this from a female's point of view. I am raising my granddaughter will be be 4 New Year's Day. We have been together for more than two years. Sure I had to make changes in my life, to take care of her. I have not had any dates or boyfriends since being single again for more than 3 yrs. I joined this site after she had been with me and the men I have heard from do not want children in the picture.

She is more like a daughter than a granddaughter after all this time. I am not looking for a spouse or a Dad, just a break from the closed mindset that I have been up against.

Someone I have recently been talking to thinks it is alright if he is too busy to call with work, but if she interrupts me while I am speaking to him then she has me wrapped around her finger.

Another example of what parents with children don't need.

wyowilly labarge, Wyoming USA

Thu Sep 3, 2009 2:12 PM CST : Should Single Dads Worry about "First Impressions" When Mentioning They're A Full-Time Parent??

sweet_saucy2008: I can only respond to this from a female's point of view. I am raising my granddaughter will be be 4 New Year's Day. We have been together for more than two years. Sure I had to make changes in my life, to take care of her. I have not had any dates or boyfriends since being single again for more than 3 yrs. I joined this site after she had been with me and the men I have heard from do not want children in the picture.

She is more like a daughter than a granddaughter after all this time. I am not looking for a spouse or a Dad, just a break from the closed mindset that I have been up against.

Someone I have recently been talking to thinks it is alright if he is too busy to call with work, but if she interrupts me while I am speaking to him then she has me wrapped around her finger.

Another example of what parents with children don't need.

Hey saucy, how ya do'n??

sweet_saucy2008 Northwest, Tennessee USA

Thu Sep 3, 2009 2:18 PM CST : Should Single Dads Worry about "First Impressions" When Mentioning They're A Full-Time Parent??

wyowilly: Hey saucy, how ya do'n??

Hey there. I am hanging in there. All any of us can do is take one things at a time. Of course as she gets older she is learning to argue with me when she refuses to do things. They grow up so fast.

wyowilly labarge, Wyoming USA

Thu Sep 3, 2009 2:32 PM CST : Should Single Dads Worry about "First Impressions" When Mentioning They're A Full-Time Parent??

sweet_saucy2008: Hey there. I am hanging in there. All any of us can do is take one things at a time. Of course as she gets older she is learning to argue with me when she refuses to do things. They grow up so fast.

Your grand daughter argue'n with you when she refuses to do something, does this mean she's start'n to turn into a woman???

C ya sis and lots of

's

virgiomonkey Auckland, Auckland New Zealand

Thu Sep 3, 2009 2:39 PM CST : Should Single Dads Worry about "First Impressions" When Mentioning They're A Full-Time Parent??

wyowilly: Mandro, this is a concern for sure. I've found out the quickest way for me to chase women off is mention I have little girls. Women my age have grand kids now and have their young'ns raised so I understand. Though I was younger at the time I raised my now 24 year old son on my own and anyone worth spit'n on admired me for it, man or woman. Think'n back if I would have hooked up with a gal that had a kid or kids around my son's age it MAY have been better. We could have throw'n the kids together and raised them together.

Keeping my little girls "quiet" I don't do. I'm like you Mandro, my kids are my life. Any gal that has any interest in me I let them know about my girls first off. If they run then it's meant to be!!

...................

....As a solo Parent my self......Well said Good Sir....And 'Yes' my Kids come first nothing more,nothing less....And had many 'Ladies run for hills' when I told straight up my kids are my 'Life'.....

J.D

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