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just a number

well..dating with age differences are ok as long as you both know what you are doing..for instance..i date older guys because i need someone with experience in life and has finished his wild and crazy days of "self-discovery".lol and older guys date me because..well, duh, i'm 19.lol..no i believe it is because i give them the thrill of being young again but not being with a child..that kind of didnt come out right but i know you all understand..

No, age is not "just a number"; there are a lot of things to consider in a May/December relationship. I've always dated guys either younger or my same age, rarely older, but...well, 10 years younger would be about my limit. What's funny is when people say women date younger men to make them feel younger; if anything, dating a younger guy only serves to remind me how much older I am than he is. Unfortunately, I've run across very few men in their 50s who still look and act youthful, either, so, it's kind of a catch-22 situation.

But you also have to consider whether or not the guy you're dating wants to have kids sometime in the future and whether or not you're willing or able to have them. Like me, my daughter's 30 years old, and the LAST thing I want is to be a mother again.

Also, no way would I date someone in their 20s, though I do get a lot of offers. I mean, what could you possibly have in common with a 20-something-year-old? Okay, besides that. I can't see myself wanting to play video games or doing a lot of the things that age group wants to do, or the music they're into, etc.

Ok, this is a rough one for me. I made a rule never to be with or sleep with anyone young enough to be my child. I did always think women wanted younger men to capture their youth. I'm finding out it's not always the case. My twin brother married a woman 17 years older than he. They had a child that had so many medical conditions she died within 24 hours. His ex-wife was 46 trying to have her and their first baby. I know that I have seen happy couples who have a great gap in age, but not sure if I can actually see beyond the age difference. I have older children who would make my life miserable (like they don't already) and teens that would never accept a step-father almost their big brother's age. However, I am finding that I am attracted to someone quite younger than I and it is based upon his maturity level and intelligence, not on physical attraction. I know the difference between love and lust at my age.I married my first husband at the age of 19 and he was 30. (of course I didn't know that at the time...lier)The experience was horrible. He was jealous and frankly not all there. He was always afraid I'd find a younger man than he. I didn't leave him for a younger man, I left him because he was abusive and lied about still being married to someone else.(can you say annulment?) So, is it just a number? I guess it depends...what do YOU think?

I believe it's just a number, but with that things have to appear to be on the same level in a few aspects. Maturity is a key point that can't be overlooked in any form, on top of that - you must want some of the same things. If one loves to be cuddly and the other doesn't, that could be potentially lethal relationship-wise. As for things in the past, I would never hold anything that's happened in my past against a woman I am considering something with. It's not fair to her and I, and is a good way to set yourself up for failure before you get out of the starting gates.. for lack of a better analogy.

My .02

I would never hold anything against someone based upon my past. It is not fair and I understand that. It's just confusing when you have a mindset on what you want and find out later, it's what your mind says, not what your heart does. We become so settled into thinking something we fail to imagine that there are other possibilities. I guess, "they really don't make 'em like they used to" is applicable. It's in a positive light I am saying that. Most men I knew growing up were so immature that I think that's why I dated older men. Todays younger generation have the abilities through internet and other means of education to learn more at a younger age. Schools are gearing the younger generation to enter college courses while still in High School and giving better opportunities. I'm hoping that means a generation of younger, intelligent, and more mature future adults. Is it just a number? I may find that out...

I don't know but good question. I always thought a guy should be older than a girl for some odd reason...but what do you guys think of a 23 year old guy and a 27 year old woman?

I think that's fine, I don't see an issue with it unless the 23 year old is acting like he's 10 years old and does immature/childish stuff that will ultimately shred any chance between the two.

Time changes alot of things, I agree wholeheartedly with that one. Confusion is temporary, and is a thought collision based on what you know, what you thought you knew, and new information that conflicts with status quo. All things the same, I agree regarding a younger and more intelligent group of mature younger adults.

This is true. Thanks for your opinion. I appreciate it.
It seems to be the consensus.

Do not fear the unknown, go with what you know and be positive you're making the right decision based on how you feel. Don't let the words of others influence what is 'right' or 'wrong' in regards to any relationship. If they were the all-knowing, their relationships would be flawless. How many do you know that are like that? Something to consider.

I agree that there are always exceptions to every rule, but, by and large, I don't think age is "just a number." I also tend to think that a lot of people think that in superficial terms; yes, I suppose age is "just a number," if all you're talking about is sex (assuming all parties involved are of legal age, that is) but many people oftentimes don't stop to consider the consequences and problems a May/December relationship can have that can contribute to and/or exacerbate the problems that a closer-age relationship might have.

Thank you for your opinion. I tend to agree and that is why I am going to think with my head and make sure that I understand all of the ramifications involved before jumping into something. I have never allowed society to dictate what I "should" do but on the other hand, I have children to think about and how they react and feel is also very important to me.

Actually, that's really good advice. I think I've realized so far that age isn't as important as life experience, which can only be gauged on a case by case basis. That, to me, is more of an indicator of how two people can relate, besides personality and chemistry. No one else outside of the relationship can tell you that. Thanks again for the advice, professor.

I agree with all you've said, and you're welcome

So, VioladorDeLaLey....Luis...what's YOUR thought?

if it doesn't matter to you and the person yer with why should it matter to anyone else

tell em to mind their own problems b4 they worry about what they think someone elses problem is

For me there are a number of factors in considering a potential partner .... age I believe can play a part but its not the only factor that I take into consideration.

I have dated both older and younger men .... not huge age gaps though so I'm not able to comment specially as to a larger age gap.

I have found though in my experience of chatting with younger men (10 years or so younger) is that the maturity level seems to not be there - not to say that each man that I've chatted with as been this way, but in general that as been my overall experience. Things that to me are obvious seem to be oblivious to them so I think its a matter of the life experiences that we have gone through as well. I generally find that I'm more attracted to men 5-10 years older than myself.

Difficult to be objective on this one.

I think the whole world is younger than Me!

Guess that means I'm goosed!!

i agree too,age should not be an issue if two people like or love each other as long as they connect... good for them ...