Im_Lee: i always thought u had to like wrap a little string around it(on erect) mark the string where it meets when wrapped around your erect penis 1 time then measure the length of the string
is this right orrrrr? and what SHOULD the girth be anyways
Actually it is quite simple.
The CIA has 45 geosynchronous satellites that are constantly monitoring the United States. Nothing that happens escapes their attention. What isn't know it that under the Freedom of Information Act you are allowed three requests per year for mapping of non-secure areas in the USA. This mapping is so precise that yes, you can have Mr. Happy's measurements to within 0.5 mm.
Now, first find the position of the satellite mapping your area. When you have established that pick a warm sunny day, strip off and coat your member with, this is important, cold pressed, extra virgin olive oil. This will help to define the edges for accurate imaging.
The next step it to apply a slight electric charge to your bits to help define them for the satellite's sensors. The easiest and most economical way of doing this is to put a latex glove on your hand and, ahhhhh, stroke the object being measured with great vigor.
Now as each scan cycles takes about 20 minutes it is important to continue this techniques for at least that long. When done a simple phone call to the CIA will get you the proper FOIA forms and within a month you will have a very accurate measurement of your pride and joy.
What? You don't believe me?
Oh well, neither did the jury when my brother was on trial for indecent exposure and tried that story on them.