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I thought i knew all the tricks but.... we have tried talking dirty to it, whipping it....

Still its floppy

Beat it!

Whip it!

Show no mercy!

If it won't go stiff, have you tried licking it into shape?

Maybe it wasn't kinky enough haha!

Serously I need it on the cake before morning... I'll be up all night beating the living daylights out of it

Robert she needs serious help here, we have tried that

I have!!!

Tried a bit of lemon juice. Dont ask

Ive been whipping it until my arms killing me

If it's not stiff after hours of working it...

forget it!!!

Sprinkle white dusting sugar instead. (yeah, I know, just sugar coating the problem!:)

Try dressing kinky????? while you whip it

Its not my cake. My daughter asked me to make it for a charity thing at work... She's gonna kill me when she gets in


Hiya sweets

Do you have Cream of Tartar?
It's a powdery substance, found in spice sections.

"Cream of tartar is best known in our kitchens for helping stabilize and give more volume to beaten egg whites. It is the acidic ingredient in some brands of baking powder. It is also used to produce a creamier texture in sugary desserts such as candy and frosting, because it inhibits the formation of crystals."

Maybe this will do the trick, if you have some. Good luck.

(Otherwise, if you haven't gotten it stiff yet with the hand jobs you've been giving it, perhaps you need to find something else to cream......I mean, another cream to whip. )

Try using a standing or hand mixer.1st on low speed and then medium speed for another 3 mins.

lmao!! trust you

Where Did I put that basque?

Not bloody likely!

Not on mine you won't!

People will laugh at me and point and think I have a bad case of dandruff!

Throw some sultanas in it pour the cream over the top and say its a Spotty Dick

No I don't have that just baking powder and bicarb lol

I'm desperate enough to stick anything in it at the moment

I just found this for you:

Directions follow below

6 tablespoons butter at room temperature
3/8 teaspoons salt
3/4 cup cocoa
1/2 cup milk
2 1/4 teaspoons vanilla
5 1/4 cups confection sugar


Cream together the soft (room temperature) butter, salt, and vanilla. I use a mixer but you

can do this by hand. Add the cocoa and mix well. You can use a rubber spatula to smear the
mixture against the bowl to remove any lumps now; if you wait until the other ingredients are
added it will be impossible to remove the lumps. Add a little of the milk now if this mixture is too
hard to handle.

Once the lumps are out, then gradually add portions of the confection sugar and blend it in. Add a little of the milk as you go to keep the mixture workable. I usually add in the sugar in about 3 portions. Keep adding just a little of the milk at a time but keep the frosting a little on the
dry side until you have added all of the sugar. Then when all the sugar is in, adjust the
smoothness of the frosting with the remaining milk to get frosting that will spread easily, but not
run down the sides of the cake.

For me, it is hard to figure how dry or wet to make the frosting. I have a hard time figuring out
how much milk to put in it. Sometimes it comes out dry and sometimes runny. Maybe it’s
because I use 1% milk, so you can try whole milk or a little cream added. Anyway, the idea is to
add the milk gradually because once you add too much you can’t take it out. And if you do make
it too runny, you can add a shake or two more of cocoa and sugar. You want to make it runny
enough to spread but not too runny that it will slide down the sides of a layer cake.

Spread the frosting on a cake that has cooled. I am not a big kitchen gadget fan, but one

worthwhile investment you can make is a special frosting knife. A cheap one will do. They have
a special wide blade and a rounded tip that make spreading frosting so much easier.

The sweet & chocolate flavor of this made from this scratch frosting is outrageous and

much better than from a bakery or from a can. Enjoy!
Here are the ingredients for my Mom’s
recipe for scratch chocolate frosting:

6 tablespoons butter at room temperature
3/8 teaspoons salt
3/4 cup cocoa
1/2 cup milk
2 1/4 teaspoons vanilla
5 1/4 cups confection sugar

I don't care if you're standing up or sitting down............ hey, but if you're in high heels and bend over that just might work!

We can at least try!

Brace yourself!

OR u could just BUY 1 ,, Sorry am not good in the culinary delight department

Hiya hon

I tried a blender lol I don't have an electric whisk. Well I do but can't find the bloody thing lol