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Don't waste time and emotion chatting for hours, you need to meet up with people staright away and you can tell then if there is going to be a spark. The sooner the better is my motto.

Yeah I think that is something I may consider trying. I feel like I am getting my chain jerked a bit and its starting to wear me down lol.

Agreed! just make sure you've got friends for back up if he is a looney XD

Oh yeah loony is scary.... I've experienced that!

It has been said that the essence of woman is her continued mystery. Don't let them know what you are THINKING. Still waters run deep. Keep your aces covered and don't show the other cards readily. Let the guy do most of the talking (at first). You will separate the grain from the chaff much sooner and easier if you do. Be choosy, darling. Don't settle for second best.

Nice advice!

To be honest a month or two is too short of a time. Men usually will give four months to a so so relationship. I get the feeling that you are disscusing childrens names or the future too early in the relationship.

Dennis ,,,jmo

Um no thats not happening lol... But you do have to figure out exactly what they want. Some people are only looking for sex or short term no strings kinda thing. Gotta make sure your not wasting your time with someone who is gonna 'hit it and run'

Don't let them know what you are thinking.... That's the relationship dance, the 'how to play the game' talk. We covered this in the relationship dance thread. WHY!!!??? Why can't we talk about what we want? It's not like she wants to get married tomorrow, she just wants to guys to know that that's where she wants to be ultimately, and she doesn't want to waste time 'playin' in the meantime.

I hear ya, but she had stated she didn't feel like she was getting anywhere. I don't like "games" any more than you do, but I don't think keeping things "in" is a game, per se, just some prudence. It's kind of like not wanting an appearance of being too available, which research shows to be a turn-off. I sure wish the world could be so relaxed. How nice it would be to just say or do whatever the "real" you is. Being discrete isn't being dishonest. It's just being quiet, that's all I was saying.

Sweet Girl, I don't know if you'll read this, the thread is several hours old already, but here's my 2 cents, for what it's worth. I think there's a good chance that these guys are being very honest in saying that's what they want too. Ultimately, I think that's what we all want. BUT, somewhere along the month long line, they figure out that you're not really the 'one' they want it with. When women get to that point, they say: "Thanks, but I'm really looking for something else." and we move on. I've noticed recently that men think very differently in this area. Even though they don't see a 'forever' light in a woman, they are still willing to date her, enjoy her company, have sex, in the meantime, until someone more suited to their 'forever' image comes along. I don't think they necessarily mean it in a nasty 'using' way, it's just their way of thinking. I've heard it twice in the last few months, same thinking. I say this isn't my 'forever' type of relationship and they say 'that's ok, but we're still having fun, aren't we?". Does that make sense. It's the whole Mars/Venus thing.

Try not to take it personally. If they still want to date you, then accept the fact that they are at least being honest about their motives.

You might not like this but in your desperation maybe you are being to pushy and trying too hard. Maybe you should just take it real slow and let him know this, dont go in like a bull in a china shop.

verry easy answer a you are on the net your not going to meet a nice guy out here at all its like being in the bar they look around and after a while ditch u to the side id be smart im just on making friends..nothing good can come from the net look out for joe bisaillon hes not a nice guy told me lies apun lies and now im carrying his child hes from kamloops chin up there are decent guys out there your dream will come true just wouldnt look for it over the net

If you've been honest with yourself and to them, you have done nothing wrong. Be glad in knowing they have given you a reason why they are not ready to commit--it's far better than to have them drop you completely without giving you any reasons as to why. JMHO

Continue looking, there is a man out there somewhere that's looking for you too.

Its like a 20/20 if you tell your heart you lose and if you dont you still lose I like to tell a man what I want to I dont want to waste his time but I dont want to waste mine either ,but what I`v been told is if you tell him to much you are going to scare him off then I say good if he`s to scared to get pass what I want then he was not worth it in the beginning then sometimes you can just enjoy the moment of just having a good time with someone before all the have`s and not`s Its not easy but its not suppose to be that hard either

Just re-read the post to see if there were any important points or thoughts I might have skimmed over or missed. Well, let me tell you, there are a couple. One or two months (with rare exception) is hardly enough time to establish the success of a potential relationship. I still feel the OP is too generous in giving out her feelings, and apparently it isn't working. About whether or not it is "game-playing" for anyone to maintain some reservation is an individualized question (not relevant for every one, but some). This is my opinion, as a man: Men are put off by a show of eagerness from one they are dating. Don't know why that is, it just is. Also, I've noticed and have been told by lady friends who are in a marriage or partnership that their mate was always a few steps behind (so to speak) as far as calling, giving a gift, etc... There are traits in both men and women in regards to dating, falling in love, etc... that are common, predictable. In my opinion, that's life, not game-playing. And you know, it isn't going to change. See how young these two are? See how long human nature has been going on? I'm really hoping she will find that one very sweet, nurturing guy, and I think she will, but it will take more than a few months. I stand by my advice.

Perfecto, Bud!

I'd say that your guy hasn't showed up on the scene yet. I believe that there is one perfect one for all of us who actually need a mate (not everyone does). Trying to bond with anyone just based on like values etc can be disasterous, not only cause you aren't with the one specifically designed for you, but the other person isn't either. I know is sux being alone and it is hard, but maybe you can be glad that the wrong people are beeing weeded out from your life. I would say stop pursuing it and get on with whatever you feel you are called to do in this world, then he will show up. I am not saying to give up on it, but just stop actively looking for it. Be open, but focused on living a full life first.

This is the kind of advice I like to hear. The game of not saying too much too soon, the bull in a china shop crack... It's all too much to memorize. Men like you are a rare find. Thank you for being open to true honesty, and for proving that there are some like you out there.