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Ah, but they do look, LP!

I take it to mean that they want a woman who is well-groomed, btw, unless they state a particular body type. I prefer a man who takes good care of himself too...cares about his health, is not grossly overweight, is well-groomed and well-dressed even in jeans. I will date a man who is carrying a few extra pounds, but cares about his health and eats healthy food and exercises at least a bit (walking when weather permits, a bit of yoga or stretching, etc.), and avoids the junk as much as possible. (I'm dating a truck driver, so I make allowances for the limitations he faces in his current job within that profession, but know that overall he fits that description well.)

And trust me, although I take good care of myself, I'm a 46 year old woman who wears a body that has birthed 2 kids and bears the marks. It's still a body I take good care of, and I'm proud of it.

losing their eyesight.....



.... complete blindess works better than partial blindness !!!!

Yes I have had kids and my body shows that but I still work out and watch what I eat


but men are visual that's why no matter how much they love you they WILL look at other women. Perfect example my gramps is 85 my grandparents have been married 60 years-that man will run into a ditch watching a young 20 something jogging down the street

these few books you've read, were they written by women or men?

Are we suppose to stay???

demn... I`v spend over 40 years just running from one bed to another...what a waist of calories ...

"Also, if men are so visual, what makes them walk into a room full of people, with a date on their arm, and not simply seek out the 'next best thing', so to speak? What makes them stay with that woman?"

Hmm...that's easy - survival - he knows that woman on his arm would kill him!

The statement that men are "visual" (whatever the hell that means) is a load of crap. Men are no more "visual" than women are. I don't know too many women who don't want a good-looking, fit, nicely groomed man, do you? Men are much more oftentimes, I think, more SHALLOW than women are (meaning looks is ALL they care about), but they don't appreciate beauty in the opposite sex any more than women do. I sure as hell don't want some fat, old, bald, myopic geezer by my side; I want a young(er), handsome, hunk! Having said that, it's not about LOOKS, it's about ATTRACTION. But I think those men who always leave their woman for someone more attractive has nothing whatsoever to do with his appreciation for her so much as it has to do with his extreme insecurity in himself as a man. She's a trophy and something to brag about while having Testesterone Talks with his buddies..."Hey, look what I bagged!" You know?

And as far as they will look at other women, well, don't you recognize and appreciate a good-looking man when you see one? The issue is not that they look, but those who look and let you know they're looking. I'll drop a man like that in a heartbeat, because he shows absolutely no respect. Just as I would never, ever make comments about a hot guy I see out in public in front of my partner, I would expect the same courtesy from him.

One was literally titled: What Men Want and it was written by a man for women.

lol...figures

I didn't find that she was meaning this as a sexist statement about just being men

as for the rest I totally agree

Just like our children men and women don't come with intruction manuals. These self helps books are a hoot.
The writers of these books probably speak to maybe a handleful of people or else have never ever been in a relationship themselves but can tell how both sexes are supposed to treat one another.The pages in them make real good bird cage liners.

Or perhaps practicality – he can’t be sure that the next beauty would be interested in him while the one on his arm... well, she’s at hand when and if...

And again: there’s always a transaction cost, mind you.

Men can get turned on quite easily just by what they see. In general, a woman needs to be touched. When I see a good looking man, I can anticipate what it might be like to touch him and get enthusiastic about the prospect, but I don't start to get 'horny'.

I remember watching a split screen on some talk show once. The audience had been divided into men and women in different studios. They were then each exposed to a series of strippers, and the cameras recorded the audiences reactions. The women were all hooping and hollering and standing up and dancing. It was entertainment. The men all sat there with their mouths hanging open and eyes glazed over. The stark contrast between the two was very clear evidence that men are visually wired.

I'm really hoping for some honest answers from the guys on this. If I'm wrong, I'd like them to tell me so.

Actually, the authors kept extensive records of their research on that book, and they spoke to thousands of men in different areas, different ages, different religious views, and they did the research for a few years before publishing the book.

I believe that men and women think differently, and trying to understand those differences might help me be a better match.

Sorry about that. But I think you need a man who carries a white stick if you truly want one who is fully attentive to you and one not distracted by younger, more attractive women.

As for your example of the man who disgards his date to seek out the 'next best thing' simply because he is a man, is ridiculous. Do you know many men such as that from your own personal experience?

As for what makes him stay with her, it's called Love or at least respect. Strange questions from a 44 year old woman.

For me visual does not mean how young or thin she is....Confidence is what i look for when I see a woman...She could be old and heavy but if she carries herself with confidence.....that is watch catches my eye.

Thank you! This is the kind of response I'm looking for. I certainly didn't mean to cause offense!

These websites are very frustrating to me. I put my pic up and know that it's not high on the list of 'babes', and that's ok. But how do I 'cater' (for lack of a better word) to the visual needs of a man when I'm surrounded by so many beautiful women...???

The book suggests that it's not necessarily the measurements of a woman, but the effort she takes to be the best she can be for her man. Is that true?

I agree with you about women being just as visual as men. And thank you, I meant to make that point somewhere in my post, but I'm brain-dead today from lack of sleep.

However, I disagree with you about him being obvious about it. My late husband used to say, "look at the hooters on that woman", and I'd agree she had a nice set. And I'd have no problem with my current SO making a comment about another woman, because I'm secure in our relationship. I don't consider it a lack of respect, I consider it him being a man.

But then, I also grew up as "one of the guys", served enlisted in the Army, and date blue-collar mill workers, laborers, and truck drivers, so I'm used to earthier men who act like men.