ok ladies I need your help

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canadian250 FORT MCMURRAY, Alberta Canada
Sun Nov 8, 2009 1:19 PM CST : ok ladies I need your help
first off this might not even be the right place to post this so if not please move it to the proper area

ok the question I have is mostly for the women and that is is this just lunch or do you think she sees this as a potenial date

the story of how this starts is a tough one, on oct 26 my dad passed away at the age of 48 from a suspected heart attack (not buying the heart attack)

almost istantly one of my best friends contacted me and told me then when I got back from the funeral she was going to pick me up and buy me lunch so we could sit down and talk (so not only is she driving but she's paying I feel bad about her paying but she wants to so I cant stop her)

anyway being the type of person that I try to be and that my father was, and knowing how rough she has had it in her life I messege her and tell her that yes we will do lunch but that it DOES NOT have to be all about me, if there is anything she wants or needs to talk about she can open up because no matter what I myself am going through I'd ALWAYS have time to listen to her.

It is at this point I start thinking she sees this as more then just a lunch between friends because it is at this point she messeges me back and says how muh she appciates that and how she has so much she wants to tell me, she talks about how her heart is dedicated to my feelings, she talks about how I am the greatest person she has ever kown and how lucky she is to have a friend like. me and how she trusts me more then anyone els in this town.

so after I hear this from her I sit back and I have to wonder how do I play this? like a date? or like I originally thought it was, just a lunch between friends which I STILL feel like an ******* for having her pay for this.

Maybe she's jut trying to build me up after the death of my dad but they way she talks sometimes I don't know

I have asked this before and I get many dfferent answers some say she just sees me as a friend some say it sounds like she has feelings for me

well I need help form the oppisite sex what does it sound like to you?

and in case it makes any diffeerence we have been friends for nearly a year and a half
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langleygirl Langley, British Columbia Canada
Sun Nov 8, 2009 1:37 PM CST : ok ladies I need your help
First of all - my thoughts are with you in your time of grief. Sounds like this was unexpected and that there are some issues going on with the results that need to be sorted through as well to give yourself some peace of mind.

As for the lunch and your friend - relax and have lunch and if she wants to pay - let her. A time of death is extremely emotional and perhaps your blowing things out of proportion a bit?

If she is interested in you as more than friends it will eventually come out - or perhaps as the conversation unfolds you may simply want to ask her directly how she views your relationship. I guess what comes to my mind is the fact that you may be entertaining taking the relationship to a different level yourself - so ask yourself that and what you desire in your future as well.
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chuck1000 Coventry, Connecticut USA
Sun Nov 8, 2009 1:51 PM CST : ok ladies I need your help
I agree with the a bove reader. Just go with it. In time you'll find out her motive. Relax and take it easy.
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LadyPhoenix1965 Chesterland, Ohio USA
Sun Nov 8, 2009 1:58 PM CST : ok ladies I need your help
Just ask her, straight out. I sometimes come across like I want more than I do. As a social worker, I'm trained to focus on people's feelings and 'go deeper' so to speak. I tend to do this in my regular relationships, occupational hazard I'm afraid, and it has gotten me into a couple of mixups. blues
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mastic55 Long Island, New York USA
Sun Nov 8, 2009 2:08 PM CST : ok ladies I need your help
Sorry about the passing of you father...for this girl to show such a strong intrest after his passing makes me wounder if you are to inherit anything that she may be interested in..be careful.
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canadian250 FORT MCMURRAY, Alberta Canada
Sun Nov 8, 2009 2:10 PM CST : ok ladies I need your help
O no I'm not worried about that we have been friends for almost a year and a half she knpws I am in not rich
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RLML48 Charleston, South Carolina USA
Sun Nov 8, 2009 2:13 PM CST : ok ladies I need your help
I agree with the others as well. Go see her without any expectations and enjoy the lunch with her, and forget who's paying, besides, she's offering which is a kind gesture. Find out what it is she wants to talk about and take if from there! And like is has been said..please take time to mourn your father and go on with life.
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mastic55 Long Island, New York USA
Sun Nov 8, 2009 2:15 PM CST : ok ladies I need your help
canadian250: O no I'm not worried about that we have been friends for almost a year and a half she knpws I am in not rich
I hope your right, just be careful.handshake
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calmheartseeks Fullerton, California USA
Sun Nov 8, 2009 2:31 PM CST : ok ladies I need your help
Play the cards she gave you until she puts out a new card. She told you you were a great friend and she may just want to share more things with you (as you told her you were open to deepening the friendship).

If she has additional interest it will come out and you can respond the way it feels best without jumping the gun. She seems to truly care about you and that in itself is a gift.
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Pixels London, Outer London, England UK
Sun Nov 8, 2009 2:35 PM CST : ok ladies I need your help
So sorry to hear about your father. Sounds like you have a good friend who just wants to buy you lunch which is okay between friends. I do think your'e emotionally vulnerable now so soon after the loss of your father and should take time. Time being a great healer but nonetheless you don't want to lose a friend too. Take Care wave
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