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After having their 11th child, a Liverpool couple decided that was
enough, as the social security people wouldn't buy them a bigger bed
and they weren't strong enough to nick one. So, the husband went to his
doctor and told him that he and his wife didn't want to have any more
children.

The doctor told him there was a procedure called a vasectomy that would
fix the problem but it was expensive. A less costly alternative was to
go home, get a firework, light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can
up to his ear and count to 10.

The Scouser said to the doctor, 'I may not be the smartest guy in the
world, but I don't see how putting a firework in a beer can next to my
ear is going to help me.' 'Trust me, it will do the job', said the doctor.

So the man went home, lit a banger and put it in a beer can. He held
the can up to his ear and began to count: '1, 2, 3, 4, 5,' at which
point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs so he could
continue counting on his other hand...

This procedure also works in Birmingham, parts of Essex, Sunderland,
Hastings, Aberdeen, Wales and anywhere in Australia.