At Sunday church the local Vicar explains that he must move on to a
> >> larger congregation that will pay him more.
> >>
> >> There is a hush within the congregation. No one wants him to leave
> >> because he is so popular.
> >>
> >> Fred Smith, who owns several car dealerships in Southland and Otago,
> >> stands up and proclaims:
> >> 'If the Vicar stays, I will provide him with a new Holden every year and
> >> his wife with a Honda mini-van to transport their children!'
> >>
> >> The congregation sighs in appreciation and applauds.
> >>
> >> Sam Brown, a successful entrepreneur and publican, stands and says,
> >> 'If the Vicar will stay on here, I'll personally double his salary and
> >> establish a foundation to guarantee private secondary school education of
> >> his children!'
> >>
> >> More sighs and loud applause.
> >>
> >> Agnes Jones, age 88, stands and announces with a smile,
> >> 'If the Vicar stays, I will give him sex.'
> >>
> >> There is total silence.
> >>
> >> The Preacher, blushing, asks
> >> her:
> >> 'Mrs. Jones, you're a wonderful and holy lady, whatever possessed you to
> >> say that?'
> >>
> >> Agnes's 90-year old husband, Joe, is now trying to hide, holding his
> >> forehead with the palm of his hand and shaking his head from side to
> >> side, while his wife replies:
> >> 'Well, I just asked my husband how we could help, and he said, 'F**k
> >> him'.
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