Jan1305: I think marriage may often be incorrectly perceived as a remedy for insecurity, particularly for older people who perhaps are feeling lonely. However, I doubt that many young, first time marriages take place for that reason.
Young people, generally without any serious worries or insecurities, fall in love and marry for purely romantic reasons. Older people who have gone down that road and experienced pain and the break up of their marriage may be insecure, lacking in self confidence or worth, yet still feel that their lives are incomplete without a husband or wife.
I think that we all need to have our independence, and a relationship which gives this to both is the one which will be successful and happier. This kind of partnership does not require a signed contract, though if people choose to formalize it by publicly celebrating their relationship that´s fine too.....unless a heap of money is in the balance.
You have made some good points here Jan!
Yes, I would agree that it is most probable for young people to feel the essence of "romance" believing in their new found love to see them through every and all circumstances, till death do us part. But as life's journey brings on obstacles, their unpreparedness and inexperience can leave them in a state of hopelessness, with shattered dreams and devastation. Yet, I would not rule out the possibility of the young, marrying for security. Many young people are insecure and looking for that place of acceptance, safety and security. Trying to not only find out who they are, but looking for that other, who would understand them. We see this a lot in adolescence.
True, with age comes wisdom. The hardships older people have faced, have hopefully prepared them for the opportunity to "get it right" this time.
But this too, requires maturity. The number of years does not make one necessarily mature. I know for me, I have learned what I
don't want!
I suppose it could go either way as we are all unique creatures.
It really would depend on the two people involved, and what works for them.
Different strokes for different folks.
