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Hey every body. I was married for 8 years and with her for about 3 1/2 before that. That takes me back to 19. It was easy then from what I remember. Had no real responsibilities, had a whole school full of women to date. I am way out of the loop on this dating crap. On top of that I am kinda shy I think. My thing is that I don't care to meet most people I run across on a daily bases. Why? I don't know realy but it seems like a waste of time to make nice nice with everybody I see. I have enough friends to just hang out with. On the other side of this the people I have wasted the breath to get to know have told me I come off as very unaproachable at first. So here lies the problem. Oh yah I also tend to speak my mind. So do I need to change

Nope. people on here speak their minds all the time. Being yourself is what we all want from someone.

Well you call this "dating crap" ... how can meeting people be considered crap?? To me its a wonderful opportunity to interact with others, have laughs, sometimes try new activities and just enjoy life and see life from another person's perspective. It can be alot of fun when you approach it with the right attitude.

As for being considered "very unapproachable" ie. not friendly then make an effort to smile, ask questions and practice socializing. I understand shyness as I'm this way myself .... but you need to make the effort to socialize with people and it will become easier over time. Taking an interest in others is a great way to break the ice - discover what makes them different and also remember to share a little about yourself as well.

Hanging out with friends who have known you for many years is your comfort zone ... you need to step out of this zone and into the socializing zone .... pretty soon you will be comfortable there too, but it will take some effort and time. Good luck with your dating - and remember - have fun because that's what its all about - enjoying life.

Nothing wrong with speaking your mind, I admire that in a person.

Maybe you just need to think a little about your words before you say them...sometimes we speak our minds, and not offend, other times, people will consider it brutally honest, when one speaks.

Someone will like you just the way you are, good luck.


.... Angel....

Hi IGOTTHIS, Welcome to CS and the forums. Absolutely do not
change. Then you are making yourself into someone you think
the other person will want, in the long run, you will not
really be you. If you are looking for a long time committment
than you must be honest with yourself and the ladies who may
show an interest in you. Good luck in your search.

So How do I get back in this dating scene. Granted I have just gotten started with this online stuff and it seems to make sense for sombody like me. I get to see a little bit of thier pesonality before I talk to them.

Exactly...keep it pimpin!

I think its simply asking someone out that you are interested in getting to know - nothing too complex. Check for people local to you and give it a try. As well - online - if you don't receive a response - move on - as it happens alot - so don't take it personally. With practice you will get better believe me and it will become easier - never take the rejection personally either otherwise you will become discouraged.

Thank you.

You are welcome ... and most importantly - leave the past in the past where it belongs. No one likes to listen to stories about how your marriage was bad etc. or your partner was an awful person. Talk about who you are now and what you want in the future etc. The past can be touched upon, but don't dwell on it.

Dont ever change who you are for anyone..If you want to change for you and how you feel about yourself then do it but not for someone else...

Good evening NC neighbor! I'm new here too. (ok, now I'm broken in after a week) but just remember, you will not only possibly find someone special in your life, but also there are so many wonderful women here. (such as the ones previously that replied to you) It's not a fullproof way of finding the right "next partner", but it's sure a lot of fun here. Take it for what it is. You are not obligated to find and build a relationship here. Take is slow. As for being outspoken, there's a difference between that and being rude. You do not seem to be someone who is rude...so there you have it in a nutshell. Have fun and welcome!

hello and welcome to the site and forums

dont ever change who you are maybe think before you speak


have fun here great people and most times great topics

igy boy.......you say......I get to see a little bit of thier pesonality before I talk to them.......

hell kid......you hope to god....they dont see yours.....

dont worry about it baby brother......if the girls dont love ya....i still will.....