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Your partner knows you, knows your humor, knows your life story. Nothing new to learn

Then a new acquaintance comes into your lives and you see the one you love laughing again. Interested in every word the new acquaintance has to say and they have that glimmer in their eyes again, the one you remember when you first started the relationship.


What is your reaction? Do you start to worry? Or do you make some sort of life change to get back the interest?


Just to clarify. I'm not having this problem, I just thought it might be an interesting subject.


Paul

I believe even longterm partners can surprise each other as long as they don't live in each others pockets and have lives independent of the partnership. Of course when you meet someone new it is flattering when they laugh or show an interest in the things that your partner may have long forgotten, but it's not about impressing someone is it, that's easy. What's more important is that your partner knows and loves you despite your faults, which the new person is not yet aware of!

id be worried, like that sparkle back in there eye from someone else, yes that would worry me, i think it also sjowed they got bored of there partner to

hi anyway havnt saw your for a while. you ok poker ????

deb

If the relationship is worth it and you truly love the person...I would say yes...start to worry and make the changes that are necessary to get your relationship back to where it should be!!!!!!!!!!!!

Do people really think that there's never anything new to learn? I think there's something new to learn every day, and that'd be guaranteed involving a partner. I think this is where being spontaneous comes into play to some extent. If things start to get predictable.. mix them up before they potentially go downhill.

My .02

Hiya Deb, yeah I've just been a peeping Tom here lately, bogged down with work watching the forum but no real time to interact.. But here I am again so watch out for a poke in the back lol

I THINK THAT THERE SHOULD ALWAYS BE SOMETHING LEFT TO THE IMAGINATION IN A RELATIONSHIP. OTHERWISE IT GETS STALE. AND SO WHAT IF SOMEONE MAKES YOUR PARTNER GET THAT GLEAM IN THEIR EYE AND MAKES THEM SMILE IN A WAY THAT YOU HAVE NOT SEEN IN AWHILE. HELLO--WAKE UP CALL. TAKE A HINT FROM THAT AND SURPRISE THEM. MAKE A DATE,LEAVE A NOTE EXPRESSING YOUR LOVE FOR THEM. BUY THEM A GIFT. DO SOMETHING NEW THAT THEY DID NOT EXPECT. FRESHEN IT UP AND JOG THE MEMORY OF THAT LOVE. RESERVE A BED AND BREAKFAST INN AND ENJOY A NICE RESTAURANT AND TAKE IN A MOVIE. THEN GO BACK AND RELAX IN A HOT TUB OR JACUZZI. MAKE A NIGHT OF SHOWING YOUR LOVE. SO, NO I WOULDN'T WORRY. I AM SPONTANEOUS AND WOULD FIND A WAY TO WAKE IT UP.
I ONCE THREW A BIRTHDAY PARTY IN OUR BATHROOM! CANDLES, WINE ON ICE WITH PRETTY LITTLE GLASSES,MUSIC AND A LUXURIOUS RUG AND PILLOWS ON THE FLOOR, WARM BATH DRAWN WITH BUBBLES AND SCENTED OIL FILLED THE ROOM. FOLLOWED BY A HUGE CUPCAKE WITH CANDLES.HE THOUGHT THAT WAS THE MOST EROTIC AND CRAZY THING HE HAD EVER DONE OR SEEN. IT WAS GREAT.
HOW MANY HAVE DONE SOMETHING OFF THE WALL LIKE THAT? LET'S HEAR SOME STORIES FROM YOU GUYS. I KNOW I AM NOT THE ONLY ONE THAT HAS DONE SOMETHING TOTALLY DIFFERENT FOR MY LOVER.

I would say I keep being who I am. I am not going to try to be someone I am not to compete. I would be a bit concerned initially but if I was sure that my partners and I love was solid and secure then it would pass as I would know where my partners loyalties stood. If my partner and I had a precarious union in the first place I guess I would be very concerned.

I think most couples get in a rut after a certain amount of time and both have to find ways to keep the relationship fresh. I have a hard time believeing that any relationship stays exciting like when it first begins.

In the beginning it is all new and unchartered territory, you want to learn all you can about the person. After familiarity sets in so can boredom but hey, at least then you should know what to expect from them. It takes two people to keep a relationship going.

Instead of just "changing" myself I would expect my partner and I would be evolving the relationship together and that takes good communication, trust and honesty.

I would definately ask them if they are truly happy and would want to know what they needed of me to be happy and visa versa. If it were something that would expect of me to be someone I am not than I would have to question the validity of their feelings in the first place.

lol, i could do with a good poke

<-------- Like being poked in the back...

8=====D

I FORGOT TO MENTION WHAT INCURRED IN THAT BATHROOM. I WALKED HIM UP THE STAIRS AND ONCE INSIDE I SLOWLY REMOVED HIS CLOTHES, KISSES IN BETWEEN AND HELPED HIM IN THE TUB, THEN I WASHED HIS FACE AND SHAVED HIM. THEN I WASHED HIS HANDS GAVE HIM A GLASS OF WINE AND THEN I WASHED HIS BODY AND HIS FEET,THEN I WASHED HIS HAIR. THEN I SLIPPED IN THE TUB WITH HIM. THE REST IS MINE.

:roll
wouldnt mind at the moment, raging hormones lol

How are those raging hormones doin today Deb?

There is always something new to learn.

If I had a partner, I would want him to laugh and learn not only from me but from everyone he comes into contact with.

If we brought more spontaniety and delight into our relationships, many would last longer.

We feel secure in the belief that we can trust the familiar, and find peace in the predictable. This is a much greater trap. The unfamiliar, the risks and the unpredictable potentially liberates boredom and enlivens a relationship.

Great outlook, but does not always work, if one partner feels insecure, the jealousy takes over and that's where problems arise,

But I agree, new friends inject a freshness into everyone, makes them feel good about themselves again.

If you see that glimmer in their eyes that was there at the beginning of the relationship, maybe you should try to rekindle what it was about you that sparked that glimmer in the first place.

("You" in the generic sense, of course).

I feel that the minute the "glimmer" started to diminish is the minute it should have been worked upon getting it back.

If it was meant to be,it shall.......

Familarity breeds contempt. Makes me think of alzhiemer, schizophrenia and amnesia. Well, hello stranger. You are new here.